AIBU - to think this is vulgar as anything?

[ValerieCupcake]

It is not racist. But it is selfish.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10651179/Big-Willy-Collins-widow-accuses-council-RACISM-22-ft-high-200-000-headstone.html#newcomment

It’s no more ‘vulgar’ than some of the bigger memorials you can find in many churchyards and cemeteries, from 100-200 years old. They were put up to draw attention to someone that someone’s family wanted to be remembered. This one would be a piece of history too.
Fair enough if there are maximum heights etc, but the actual contents (statues etc) are no more vulgar than a sad-eyed Angel, a huge mortsafe or a massive cherub.

400 nephews and nieces??!!

Aren't most massive memorials 'vulgar' by their very nature? Unless someone's going to spend hours every month scrubbing bird shit and algae from this particular monstrosity, it'll soon develop a patina like any other headstone or memorial.

It's revolting

Jukebox?
I mean the thing is tasteless but I’d be more pissed off to be visiting my loved ones last resting place and have to put up with music and disco lights!

It's an abomination and I hope the council remove it and the family are made to erect something more dignified. They're threatening there will be 'war' if the council intervene. Lovely. The rest of us have to follow the rules regardless of which group we belong to.

If I had a relative who was buried in that cemetary I'd have them dug up and taken somewhere else.

Is this about the traveller grave planning row?

Tricky. On one hand it’s cultural, OTOH it is overwhelming the surrounding graves.

Usually, cemeteries are divided up by religion, so like is with like, but I suppose that doesn’t apply here because it’s a cultural, not a religious difference.

To be fair the cemetery should have rules in place if they don't want ginormous memorials. I'm not in the UK but here we have height restrictions and all tombstones are subject to approval before they are erected, you have to show drawings or photos before hand. If they didn't want something like this to happen then they should have prevented it, it's a bit late to start moaning about it after it is erected.

It's an abomination and I hope the council remove it and the family are made to erect something more dignified. They're threatening there will be 'war' if the council intervene. Lovely. The rest of us have to follow the rules regardless of which group we belong to.

^This. It is vulgar and why the need for a jukebox? It is a cemetery for goodness sake!

The jukebox is probably the straw that broke the camel’s back, TBH. But travellers face so much bigotry, it seems unfair to make this a huge issue too.

You can’t police your neighbours’ taste, however much you want to (and I do every Christmas), even in a graveyard, if they have the correct planning permission.

Vulgar, and they have ignored the rules that everyone else has to follow. Playing music is disgraceful - intruding on the peace and quiet other families expect in a cemetery. I think I'd be furious if my uncle, Little Willy, was buried close to this, and hated County and Western music. A lot of families could be distressed by this. I imagine the footfall will be dramatically increased too, for a while at least.

@RoastedFerret they do have rules and the council stated that what the family applied for isn't what was unveiled.

They didn't have planning permission. Not for this.

@RoastedFerret

To be fair the cemetery should have rules in place if they don't want ginormous memorials. I'm not in the UK but here we have height restrictions and all tombstones are subject to approval before they are erected, you have to show drawings or photos before hand. If they didn't want something like this to happen then they should have prevented it, it's a bit late to start moaning about it after it is erected.

There are rules and people have to apply for approval. The council have previously made people remove ornaments from the tops of gravestones if it made them too high, for example.

The people who built this didn't ask for permission and went against the rules. I am surprised that the council didn't notice during the construction, though.

RoastedFerret - if you read the article they were dishonest. What they erected, was not what was agreed.

[quote BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation]@RoastedFerret they do have rules and the council stated that what the family applied for isn't what was unveiled.[/quote]
Ah ok, sorry I couldn't be bothered to read the article the OP linked to. I shouldn't have been lazy. If it goes against what they said they were going to do then fair enough, they should of course implement the rules.

I don't think vulgar comes into it. It's probably not to most peoples tastes but that's how they want to remember their loved one.

However the article states that it is not in line with what they were granted permission for, which isn't on.

The people complaining should be taking it up with the council though, not hurling abuse on social media. The family are still grieving no matter what anyone thinks of their lifestyle or culture.

It doesn't comply with the agreed planning permission, does it?

It's not racist its the me me me attitude of some people. Have they given any thought to other people who wish to quietly remember loved ones without a juke box and flashing lights intruding on them?
No of course they haven't. They don't care

Haha wow! I mean, it's pretty ostentatious but it's not harming anyone now is it

Sticking a jukebox and flashing lights next to others final resting places, busted by other loved ones is the height of selfishness. I highly suspect without these elements most would have thought it was bloody awful.

I agree, it’s not racist it’s selfish and threatening riots is really not doing the traveller community any good.

Meh, not my cup of tea but if it makes them happy, why not? Although I do think the music needs to be turned off.

Now I’ve read the story, I’m even more agog that she “didn’t know where he lived or what he did for a living” through most of their 30 year marriage. Hmm.

Maybe the police will go after the marble as proceeds of crime?

@Sciurus83

Haha wow! I mean, it's pretty ostentatious but it's not harming anyone now is it

Isn't it? You wouldn't mind visiting a family members grave with that next to it? Other people obeyed the rules, so they can too.

Who are you (or we) to judge what is vulgar or tasteful? The whole point of this DM article is to pander to their readership’s (racist) attitude to travellers. As is your reason for posting this.
I personally find the new trend of flowers, teddy bears and other sentimental tat being left at the place someone died or around children’s graves decidedly tasteless and mawkish. However it is not my loved one and I deeply understand different people need to express their grief in different ways, I would never comment or start a thread judging and calling something vulgar.

If they have broken the council’s cemetery rules, yes it needs to be changed. But other than this it’s is nothing to do with any of us.