AIBU - to think this is vulgar as anything?

[ValerieCupcake]

It is not racist. But it is selfish.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10651179/Big-Willy-Collins-widow-accuses-council-RACISM-22-ft-high-200-000-headstone.html#newcomment

@FrydayFish

Is it because they is Irish?

Nope, it’s because they are tacky, thoughtless and entitled.

The widow is issuing threats of violence. Time for the old Bill to have a word.

Agree, it’s not my taste but it’s harmless and if this monstrosity helps the loved ones with their grief who are we to condemn it.

So never mind that music and noise might makes things harder for other grieving lived ones?

Or even loved ones

The music is not ok.

Suppose we all did that. A graveyard with 100 graves all playing different songs.

It's not ok.

People have to be considerate in a shared space.

I’m sure when this story was first reported it quoted a visitor to the cemetery saying they didn’t mind it?

Vulgar as fuck, but if they've paid for the ground footage, its up to them 🤷‍♀️

I don't see how it's selfish?

@LoveLabradors

theleafandnotthetree

Saucery
Love the way when I clicked on the link it took me straight to the end of the article to the Comments box. Presumably so the racist and hard of thinking don’t have to waste time reading it, they can just type insults aimed at the Traveller community right away grin
Saucery, even the most liberal, broad minded and kind hearted of my friends struggle with many aspects of Traveller culture, based not on prejudice and artcles in the Daily Mail but on their own lived experience of how many (and more than a small minority of) travellers live their lives and in particular, their treatment of women, children and animals.

Well said. This is the reason that some pretty serious crimes remain hidden, that serious criminal activity proliferates, that people and animals continue to suffer. That intimidation and threats prevail. Because of people that like to obfuscate and distract from them by shouting racism and culture and thinking that trumps everything else. We have seen the results of that in the past couple of decades. It has hidden suffering. Culture cannot excuse cruelty. Culture cannot trump the rights of other people. Culture should not mean ignorance of the law. Claimed culture does not wipe everything else out. Society should be based on mutual respect and responsibility as well as rights.

For the avoidance of doubt….. I do not agree with any cultural practices that harm women, children or animals. I mean, I didn’t think I needed to say that, but somehow, pointing out that Daily Mail readers prefer to jump straight to the Comments section to unload their nonsense, you have inferred that. Bit weird, but there you go, I’ve stated my position up there ^^

It’s a big, flashy monument that contravenes the planning guidance. Fine to say that. Not fine to start blethering on about other things an aunt’s cousin’s ex boyfriend’s hairdresser once saw a Traveller do.

I was prepared to say op is unreasonable but it's a fucking monstrosity tbh.

@LottyD32

Vulgar as fuck, but if they've paid for the ground footage, its up to them 🤷‍♀️

I don't see how it's selfish?

I missed that is got a jukebox and disco lights.

Who on earth would think that's acceptable in a cemetery

If this is what the family wanted they should have set up their own private graveyard.

Then they could put a fucking pub in it.

Jesus christ.

@LottyD32

Vulgar as fuck, but if they've paid for the ground footage, its up to them 🤷‍♀️

I don't see how it's selfish?

How is playing music and chatting though a microphone NOT selfish?! It’s a place of rest, not a frickin disco.

Lose the noise, adjust it to within planning regs. It’ll still be a bloody eyesore but there’s nothing anyone can do if it’s within guidelines. At the moment it’s not.

@RoastedFerret

To be fair the cemetery should have rules in place if they don't want ginormous memorials. I'm not in the UK but here we have height restrictions and all tombstones are subject to approval before they are erected, you have to show drawings or photos before hand. If they didn't want something like this to happen then they should have prevented it, it's a bit late to start moaning about it after it is erected.

The article states that they do have rules in place and this memorial violates them.

Just see you’d missed that bit @LottyD32.

If they didn't want something like this to happen then they should have prevented it

They did at least try to prevent it, by listing what's allowed or not in advance
Reportedly, as has been said countless times, the family submitted papers for one type of memorial and built something completely different

@AndAsIfByMagic

It's hilarious. Utterly hilarious. Worthy of Monty Python.

Grotesque and vulgar - of course.

I can't wait to see the hissy fit when it's torn down.

😂 It’s extremely selfish but it is also utterly hilarious i agree

@NancyDrooo

Agree, it’s not my taste but it’s harmless and if this monstrosity helps the loved ones with their grief who are we to condemn it.

So never mind that music and noise might makes things harder for other grieving lived ones?

@NancyDrooo I don’t know the legislation regarding music but the music on the video in the article was inoffensive. Where my in-laws are buried there are some ostentatious memorials and sometimes when we’ve visited there are groups at those graves as if they’re having a party. I’m not concerned with them I’m supporting my DH visiting his parents. Personally I wouldn’t drink and eat at the graveside but again, who are we to say someone shouldn’t. If it’s legal and gives them comfort at the loss of a loved one where’s the harm. There are people who object to bunting and windmills or artificial flowers, again they’re not hurting anyone and ease grief.

@HappyMiddleChild

Big difference between visual and noise. You can shut your eyes but not your ears. Unless you think those who want to quietly pay their respects should wear noise cancelling headphones for their visits?

@Saucery

It’s no more ‘vulgar’ than some of the bigger memorials you can find in many churchyards and cemeteries, from 100-200 years old. They were put up to draw attention to someone that someone’s family wanted to be remembered. This one would be a piece of history too. Fair enough if there are maximum heights etc, but the actual contents (statues etc) are no more vulgar than a sad-eyed Angel, a huge mortsafe or a massive cherub.

I agree. And these are often the ones with the most interesting tales behind them too. It looks vulgar now, because it's so bright and white, but give it 50 years and it will look no different to some of those enormous Victorian ones.

Personally I think its pretty cool but i can understand why others may dislike it and it's nothing to do with racism.

@NancyDrooo

Just see you’d missed that bit *@LottyD32*.

😂

Do people really spend that much time in a grave yard that a bit of music is going to ruin it? It's not like sitting on a train for 5 hours listening to someone else's music

A duke box can bring the FUN to any funeral!
As long as it doesn't overlap onto my grave I don't see what it has to do with me!

@Momicrone

Do people really spend that much time in a grave yard that a bit of music is going to ruin it? It's not like sitting on a train for 5 hours listening to someone else's music

It doesn't matter how much time you spend there - it's still disrespectful!

I would hate to be visiting a loved ones grave and have to put up with music blasting out of bluetooth speakers!

I thing wrong with a bit of Joe Dolan, lads

Anyway I’m leaving as I don’t like the way people are saying implying that all travellers are disrespectful of the law rather than this family.

*Nothing, not I thing!