AIBU - to think this is vulgar as anything?

[ValerieCupcake]

It is not racist. But it is selfish.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10651179/Big-Willy-Collins-widow-accuses-council-RACISM-22-ft-high-200-000-headstone.html#newcomment

There are rules for memorials that everyone has to follow- if this does not follow them it will have to be altered. It is immaterial if it is cultural- if you choose to place it in this cemetery that has specific rules you have to follow them

I don't agree with the jukebox. It's all a bit over the top to say the least but why not if that's what they want and they didn't break the planning rules.

@Saucery

Love the way when I clicked on the link it took me straight to the end of the article to the Comments box. Presumably so the racist and hard of thinking don’t have to waste time reading it, they can just type insults aimed at the Traveller community right away

Saucery, even the most liberal, broad minded and kind hearted of my friends struggle with many aspects of Traveller culture, based not on prejudice and artcles in the Daily Mail but on their own lived experience of how many (and more than a small minority of) travellers live their lives and in particular, their treatment of women, children and animals.

It is rather ostentatious.

It is the biggest memorial I have seen. I do sometimes walk round cemeteries as I find the inscriptions are often interesting.

It's hilarious. Utterly hilarious. Worthy of Monty Python.

Grotesque and vulgar - of course.

I can't wait to see the hissy fit when it's torn down.

I think he should have gone all out and had a memorial like the drug dealers in Mexico. www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/cemetery-drug-cartel-bosses-tombs-11335307.amp

I would love to visit that cemetery but assume they don’t take kindly to strangers coming for a poke around.

Two things that came my mind:
One was the size of the plot. I don’t think I’ve seen one that size before so I I angine they bought 2 (maybe 3?) plots next to each other to be able to fit it all in.
The other was the music and whether it would be considered a nuisance both for the neighbours and people visiting other graves.

After that, whether it’s of good or bad taste, is clearly a very personal choice. I don’t think anyone should say anything there.

I wonder how many people complaining ever actually visit their local graveyards. There are many with much bigger monuments.

Where? Not in my area. I regularly visit the graveyards here and while there are some fairly big monuments, I've never seen anything approaching this size.

The jukebox doesn’t play country and western.

It plays Morricone’s tune to the Godfather.

@RoseMartha

It is rather ostentatious.

It is the biggest memorial I have seen. I do sometimes walk round cemeteries as I find the inscriptions are often interesting.

I do too, I find them really calming and thought provoking. I also visit my dear dad who chose a tranquil spot in a traditional graveyard where people are respectful of other visitors.

Music blaring out would be utterly unacceptable and I’d be furious if I were local to this cemetery. If nothing else, that needs to go immediately. What were they thinking? I guess they weren’t. Selfish.

@SenoraMiasma

The jukebox doesn’t play country and western.

It plays Morricone’s tune to the Godfather.

It has a Bluetooth facility so visitors can play their own music too!

It really does look out of place I mean I get having a memorial for your loved one you've lost but it is far too big

The majority of them put on the Irish accent too. Not the northern Irish accent but the southern Irish accent and its so cringe. My son laughs when he hears it

It’s surely no more “put on” than any other accent? It’s evolved from what they’re surrounded by - it’s a very closed community, its hardly a surprise the children would develop accepts that emulate their relatives. It is certainly distinctive, I find it kind of fascinating, but not worthy of being laughed at, that just seems snide.

It's always inappropriate to lavish that much over the top for a memorial to someone dead. The jukebox alone is a proper fuck you to every person visiting another grave at the same location.

theleafandnotthetree

Saucery
Love the way when I clicked on the link it took me straight to the end of the article to the Comments box. Presumably so the racist and hard of thinking don’t have to waste time reading it, they can just type insults aimed at the Traveller community right away grin
Saucery, even the most liberal, broad minded and kind hearted of my friends struggle with many aspects of Traveller culture, based not on prejudice and artcles in the Daily Mail but on their own lived experience of how many (and more than a small minority of) travellers live their lives and in particular, their treatment of women, children and animals.

Well said. This is the reason that some pretty serious crimes remain hidden, that serious criminal activity proliferates, that people and animals continue to suffer. That intimidation and threats prevail. Because of people that like to obfuscate and distract from them by shouting racism and culture and thinking that trumps everything else. We have seen the results of that in the past couple of decades. It has hidden suffering. Culture cannot excuse cruelty. Culture cannot trump the rights of other people. Culture should not mean ignorance of the law. Claimed culture does not wipe everything else out. Society should be based on mutual respect and responsibility as well as rights.

It’s grotesque and tasteless,in the Cemetery where my parents and grandparents are buried, people are given freeish rein in style, but all have to conform to size of plot.
In “Our” Cemetery, tasteful and tasteless mingle happily together.
United by grief.

@SenoraMiasma

The jukebox doesn’t play country and western.

It plays Morricone’s tune to the Godfather.

It’s also hooked up to Bluetooth so visitors can play what they want.

I believe there is a camera/mic so his family can chat to him from afar.

Graveyards should be silent.

Is it because they is Irish?

It is this sort of thing which creates bad feelings about travellers. The memorial is way out of what is allowed.

@SnowdropViolet

I am curious about the area it covers. It looks as though it covers about 8 plots in size.

Did the family buy a block of eight plots for one burial? Is the idea that there will be more family members buried there when their times come?

I too read that they'd bought up several surrounding plots as they wanted it to be a family grave. Not sure how it will work if anyone else wants to be buried there though, because usually when the next burial takes place they have to remove the headstone from the grave first. Good luck with that!

It’s OTT and it should have to respect planning/ rules, but I have to say that it made me smile and made me wonder if the idea of grey ‘solemn dignity’ is all a bit archaic and Victorian.
How lovely that they’re celebrating a beloved father figure. The statues are amazing.
But the music, flags and jukebox are obviously OTT and the objections are nothing to do with racism.

@Sciurus83

Haha wow! I mean, it's pretty ostentatious but it's not harming anyone now is it

Agree, it’s not my taste but it’s harmless and if this monstrosity helps the loved ones with their grief who are we to condemn it.