To Make DS do something he vehemently doesn’t want to?

[UserOfManyMonickers]

So DS (11) is a complete tech addict. It’s good in one way as he can write his own code and watches a lot of science based stuff. He can tell you all about Nuclear Fusion if you’re interested!

He’s doing excellently at secondary school. In fact I’ve had calls from teachers telling what a pleasure he is to teach and how he’s acing everything. One teacher told me this this week. he’s never taught anybody like him (not a stealth boast but background!).

BUT he won’t go out. He’s not interested in meet-up with friends. Won’t do any excercise, he’s 5ft 8 and reasonably slim so not overweight. He just doesn’t want to exert himself, waste of energy!

Anyway I enrolled him in Scouts last year as a way to do stuff outdoors. He was OK initially but said it was quite boring and the other boys are immature and doesn’t seem to have made friends there. He’s always on the periphery.

For the last few weeks he has insisted he’s not doing it. I’ve said he is.

He has a 2 night camp tomorrow and lots more over the rest of the year. I’ve shelled out a lot for kit and he’s just had a massive tantrum that he’s not going. Tears, shouting everything. He hates me.

WIBU to force him?

My older boys were similar and I gave up with making them do stuff like this. I’m don’t want to do the same with him!

Coming back to this thread.

If you're still worried about the exercise side OP this is definitely one for him! store.nintendo.co.uk/en_gb/ring-fit-adventure-000000000010001992.html

We bought it for the children at Christmas but they've never played it. Set it up over the weekend and DH and I had a go last night. We were BATTERED. It was really fun and really immersive. It might be something he's interested in? It was hilarious playing it together... perhaps you could all take a more active role as a family?

I think pick your battles. And it's not this one.

But I also don't think, as the parent of a still, lets face it) quite young child, that you wouldn't be being unreasonable if you sat him down at a calmer time, and said something like, "in exchange for (thing he wants, like pocket money), I need you to take on one weekly extra-curricular sports activity." Then be okay with whatever he picks. Help him research, get him the required kit etc.

But I don't think there's anything wrong with him being to learn the lesson of "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours."

Can't you find him a form of outdoor exercise he would like to do, which might work with his "tech" mind ... mountain biking, hiking (include orienteering or something which involves using navigation systems) etc.

You say you fought this battle with your older kids and lost, so why are you pushing it with the youngest?

I can't stop thinking about this thread and it shocks me that most people think it's fine for your child to sit on his backside indoors all day just because his school work is fine and he's a 'nice boy'. The risks of a sedentary life are well known, heart disease, poor mental health, diabetes, obesity etc do not care how nice your son is. Maybe Scouts is too far or whatever but your children need to exercise EVERY DAY, it's neglect to ignore their physical needs like that. Don't let him get to 21 and be unfit. He will wish he had looked after his body as a child. Remember just because lazy parenting is normalised does not make it normal, natural or healthy. You're obviously asking this because you know that his lifestyle is not right, otherwise you'd have your head in the sand like everyone else who have children who's heart rate only elevates for the TV.

@MayBMaybenot

Can't you find him a form of outdoor exercise he would like to do, which might work with his "tech" mind ... mountain biking, hiking (include orienteering or something which involves using navigation systems) etc.

You say you fought this battle with your older kids and lost, so why are you pushing it with the youngest?

What's your intention with the last part of your message? Failing twice is not failing three times. She's trying to do better for this one

@Sixtycats

I can't stop thinking about this thread and it shocks me that most people think it's fine for your child to sit on his backside indoors all day just because his school work is fine and he's a 'nice boy'. The risks of a sedentary life are well known, heart disease, poor mental health, diabetes, obesity etc do not care how nice your son is. Maybe Scouts is too far or whatever but your children need to exercise EVERY DAY, it's neglect to ignore their physical needs like that. Don't let him get to 21 and be unfit. He will wish he had looked after his body as a child. Remember just because lazy parenting is normalised does not make it normal, natural or healthy. You're obviously asking this because you know that his lifestyle is not right, otherwise you'd have your head in the sand like everyone else who have children who's heart rate only elevates for the TV.

I couldn't agree more!

I'm so shocked by these answers - it's not okay to sit around all your life. It's not a moral issue either - not using your body leads to all kinds of physical and mental problems.

Ugh, yes I'm shocked too!

So much research behind lack of exercise being absolutely DEVASTATING on one's mental health. Not to mention physical effects.

It's easy and feels nice to let them play games all day, but does everyone forget kids become adults? Lazy kids will become poorly, unfit adults.

By God, do I want to take my kids to live in a hut in the wild! We are obviously SO disconnected from our natures. These comments highlight a horrific reality.

Bruce Perry has excellent research (if you don't or can't access a paper there are talks on youtube) around how damaging technology is for dc because it causes social thinning.

If it is that unhealthy come up with a reasonable plan and you both go for a walk for half an hour every night as a compromise and explain to him why. Dont think this is as big an issue as you think it is.