Asking a friend back for the money I lent her

[Hazbot]

I lent my friend £1000 last March to help with her debts that her husband didn’t know about. She was saying at the time that it was causing her great anxiety and stress and didn’t know how to pay it off as he wanted to buy a house soon.

She had already borrowed money from her husband’s friend and had a payment plan to pay that money back and so this was £1000 that her husband didn’t know about.

We never wrote a formal payment plan back and I did believe that she had every intention to pay it back.

Fast forward to august where we had a huge fall out because she thought I was flirting with her husband. We eventually made up where she apologised because she was extremely drunk but our relationship has never been the same since.

She’s mentioned a few times about paying it back but nothing ever materialises.

During all this, she has tried to move house, gone through 2 bouts of IVF and has her dad repeatedly in hospital so I know she’s going through it.

But I’m wondering how I can ask her if she has a payment plan for the £1000 I lent her and when the best time to ask her.

She’s currently going through ivf again and so I know it’s stressful for her.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Well done OP.

Now set a reminder for yourself and this time next month if she doesn’t transfer the money msg her again and say ‘just checking that you’re doing April’s payment? Thank you! Xx’.

And so on. So she knows you mean it and won’t give up. This will be an incentive for her to then pay the remaining balance as planned to get you out of her hair.

Thats a great turn out op. I'm so glad it got sorted amicably and your friendship's still intact.

Kind people often get trampled on, sadly. I think you have been too 'soft' on her. Be a bit more forceful now. Message her to say that you need the money back and can she set up a direct debit from April to start repayments if that option is easier. Her problems are not your problems and you have every right to your money back. Stop making excuses for her and start getting a bit arsey now. She is taking the p**s.

That’s a great update OP.

Keep a copy of the correspondence. If she reneges you now have evidence to satisfy a court that she accepts the money is a debt to be repaid. So you could make a money claim against her

That’s fantastic!

Don’t let her miss a payment though and keep track off what she pays you - do it through online banking.

Her circumstances may be used after she’s paid the first couple hundred back but hopefully not.

@Hoppinggreen

You arent getting that back and she didn’t think you were flirting with her husband either

This. She made that up to stop you both being friends.

I wouldn’t write it off unless you can afford it.

I would send another message asking her to sort out a payment schedule and confirm the date and amount of first payment. Assuming she’s paid monthly maybe a transfer on the first Monday of the month?

I would also be prepared to chase her with a follow up text if she doesn’t pay, copying in her husband.

If she doesn't honour next month,go straight to her dh.
You've given her plenty of opportunities to pay you back.

@2DogsOnMySofa

A simple text asking for it back.

Hi X, can I ask when you're likely to pay me back the £1000 I lent you last year, we can do it in instalment of its easier?

But I do think you can probably kiss it goodbye. Depends how much you need it, if she Bataks you give her a deadline, if she blocks you approach her husband

Do this and hopefully get it in writing - do you have anything in messages or wiring?

congrats. You got a good response. Keep at it! What a relief this must be.

Well done OP. Xx

She's got no intention of paying you back. It was a year ago, so she's had plenty of time to pay you something. If I were you, I'd forget about the money and fuck her off altogether. She's not a true friend.

Or - take her to court via the small claims.

Did they ever pay you back?

I really hope you've been fully repaid now @Hazbot .
You are a very good friend, it should be appreciated not taken advantage of.

I'm so annoyed.evry week my niece is tapping me for money.started off at £20 every other day then £50 quids then £100 and then £200.the £200 she said was because she fell behind with rent.anyway she owed me £250 and she gave me £150 back and she was going to pontins for the weekend so I said keep hold of the £100 till the 10th that's her pay day....while away she begged for another £50 saying her bf wouldn't feed her and her daughter.i was skint but lent it of my dad to send her....anyway on the 10th...no money off her.she said she been sanctioned and they stopped her money.i read up and uc can't touch rent or the kids money but can take a bit off hers.in the mean time I'm sat here skint.she makes me feel guilty saying she has no money for food for kids.rant over but I feel used and she's taking the mick how do I stop feeling responsible for her.

The answer is to toughen up and say No. You are not responsible for her.

Read your post back. She went to Pontins . That costs money .

Next she ask, refuse. Tell her straight she can’t afford Pontins if she can’t afford rent. Ignore any sob story.

@MORRISSEY1959

You'd be better off starting you own thread, as this one has been quiet for eight months and is totally unrelated to your situation.