To throw away pink things?

[JustAnotherBadMother]

I have DDs aged 15 mo and 1 mo. I hate pink. I hate the way so much girls stuff is pink. I mostly buy them boys things, although I've no problem with dresses and dolls (which I do buy), providing they are not pink. My SIL is the opposite of me in just about everything. She is very OTT in quantity of presents which I find overbearing, and makes me feel bad, and her tastes are the opposite of mine. She buys masses of stuff for my daughters (which I do not need or want), and the vast majority of it makes me want to vomit. It's almost all really expensive (JoJo, Boden, etc), whereas my stuff is almost all a mixture of freecycle and Primark, partly because of money, but tbh personal taste probably plays a bigger role. My mother recently bought some things for my DDs and they were really heavily biased towards pink. She noted herself regretfully that they were overall a bit pink, and commented on how one dress was largely pink but had other colours, when it was 90% pink. My SIL bought an expensive jacket for DD1 a few weeks ago (JoJo, obvs), and said although it was pink she thought I'd still like it.
I don't know why they do it, because they know I absolutely hate pink stuff and it won't be worn. For more than a year all this pink crap has simply been in the cupboard and literally not worn at all.
Today I was just feeling miserable and put a lot of the pink stuff in a bag (inc the new dress my DM bought a couple of weeks ago) and put it all in a public bin. I felt guilty for a few hours and went out to try and find the bag (just to put in the attic, not use), but the bins had been emptied. I think I'm glad about this, but just can't stop thinking about it and feeling miserable about the whole situation.
Why do my DM and SIL do this? If it really was very very occasional and pink was just one of 100 colours I wouldn't care. But it's not. Almost everything my SIL buys is pink pink pink, and a fair chunk of what my DM buys is pink too. I'm fine with pretty dresses which they like buying, but just draw the line at pink.
(NB I would normally give it to charity - I've got masses off freecycle myself - but I have issues with pink and poorer girls been limited by it. That's why not. Plus I'm cross with my SIL and DM for buying all this pink shit when they knew I hate it and it won't be used, and somehow this seemed more appropriate. If they ever find out there'll be more pissed off, which is what I want bc I'm getting upset about all of this. It feels like they are criticising my values and my abilities as a mother.)

Why don't you just ask them not to buy pink stuff?

I have. They know I hate it, and it won't be used, which is partly why I'm getting so frustrated by it all (and my SIL knows I don't like the amount of stuff generally). Obviously if they didn't know it would be different.

Tbh my son looks fab in pink and blue and most other colours tbh. But if it’s not your thing take it back and swap or sell and ask them not to buy in future

You are not being unreasonable to have your own preferences about colours and clothes for your kids - although the no pink at all does seem a little extreme and I hope that when your girls are older you will allow some choice if they themselves preferred or wanted some pink. You are being very unreasonable to have thrown the clothes into a bin. You may not like the colours but other people would do and would be happy to use them. The idea that lower income girls are being forced into pink doesn't really make sense because as you yourself mention, their parents could access "boys" clothes if they wanted to, and indeed lots of parents do actively want pink etc for their daughters. (some of us even allow our sons some pink!) Throwing away is really environmentally irresponsible and I think is really disrespectful

YABU. Because:

You should tell them it simply won't get used, so they're wasting their money.
Because you've binned brand new stuff, instead of selling it or giving it to charity.
Because you admit yourself you would use some of it if it wasn't all pink - why not just pick out the bits you like /are least pink /most practical, use them amongst your choices of non-pink items, & get rid of the rest?

It does seem like you're putting a blanket ban on pink out of principle, not because of any real reason. Do they even know you just throw it away?

have a box marked "donations" and when they give you pink things put them straight in there. And then take them to the charity shop. That will soon stop them.

There's nothing wrong with pink. Do you dislike any other colours?

@JustAnotherBadMother

I have. They know I hate it, and it won't be used, which is partly why I'm getting so frustrated by it all (and my SIL knows I don't like the amount of stuff generally). Obviously if they didn't know it would be different.

Don't accept it from them then. When they give it to you, just give it straight back. Just say no thanks, you know how I feel about pink / we've got enough clothes etc.

If your issue is not wanting to donate pink stuff, you could also have sold it online and then kept the money for your daughters so that they would be benefitting from their gifts.

Please, I have told them I hate pink and it won't get worn. They know this is true bc they see my DDs regularly and they are never in pink.

You could have offered them on a free cycle page, sold them on marketplace or given them to charity instead of sending unworn, brand new clothes to land fill. Also you’re taking them buying pink clothes a bit too personally. They just like pink, the same way you don’t, it’s not a reflection on your parenting.

How does it get into your house?

I think your SIL and DM do need to just stop if they know you don't like it but I voted YABU because of throwing perfectly good clothes in the bin

It sounds like you're projecting something else onto what essentially is just clothing, would you hate any other colour?
The only person I've known that wanted to throw away all of the pink stuff was someone who desperately wanted a boy and felt this rubbed in her face that she had a girl due to the association of pink with girls.

Good luck at primary school, up until then I had personally gone for all colours and often used old boys clothes on my dd as it's just votives at the end of the day but primary years 1-3 were pink pink Princess years without negotiation from dd due to the other dc bring the same! She's in year 4 now, we still have bows and dresses but it's moved onto purple now

@EatSleepReplete
This is basically what I want to do. I just don't think I'll be able to with my SIL as she's so forceful and it'll end up with everyone in tears....

Nothing wrong with pink, its just a colour.

Just clothing*

Sorry but you could have donated it to charity rather than throw it in a bin. What will you do when your children are older and choose pink for themselves?
I rarely choose either the colour pink or dresses for my 9 month old dd, but if other people are kind enough to buy things I won't be a dick about it.
I don't wear pink as an adult, and work in stem, and I couldn't tell you how much pink I wore as a baby/toddler because it doesn't matter and it isn't the be all and end all in determining future personality if you raise them to be well rounded individuals.

I'm not a massive pink fan and hate the way that girls toys are pink. Baby walkers having a pink version even teething keys for goodness sake.

I always wondered who bought this crap until one day i met a mum who when she asked me about teething keys would only buy the pink version of them at an inflated price because her daughter was a "pink girl".

However I do think YABU. It is just a colour. I dont choose pink for my DD. Clothes wise again we have a mix of pretty dresses, dungarees and boys clothes. But i accept its a popular colour for girls and my DD will be her own person. The more I push her to not be a 'girly girl' she'll probably end up one. Even now her favourite toys are a tacky bright pink ride on toy and her doll. Though she also has a love of cars, climbing and getting muddy in the garden...so perhaps a balance.

Also YABVVVVU for chucking it. What an absolute waste and entiled act. Just donate it. It's not your place to make other peoples choices for them! If someone in a chairty shop likes their daughter in pink that's their choice! Not yours.

Throwing away is ridiculous. And so is the idea that by giving pink clothes to the charity shop you are somehow stopping "poor people" achieving their dreams.

You do sound like you have a real stick up your backside about the whole pink issue. It's just a colour.

I don't understand why you think boys clothes are better. Most girls' clothes actually aren't pink.

@greyshoelaces
Definitely not wishing I had sons. I love my girls to bits, I just don't think being a girl is all about being constantly in pretty pink dresses. Wear jeans and climb trees and follow politics and providing you have XX chromosomes then you are a girl is my mantra!

I think being so rigidly against pink of any kind is just as weird as wanting to dress your child in nothing but, personally. It's a colour, just like any other. DD wears blue, green, pink, orange, red, grey, etc etc. It seems like a very laboured way to make a point when one doesn't really need to be made. It's okay for girls to wear pink, just like it's okay to wear any other colour.

If it's not a style of clothes you would put them in (although for a tiny baby this didn't really bother anyway as clothes are kind of irrelevant) then just sell them on or give them away. Or keep them for messy play or something. Binning brand new clothes is just wasteful.

My mum never put me in pink clothes, at 3 years old I believed this was due to not being pretty. Please do not push your dislikes on to your children.

I hear ya! I just put my daughter in comfy stuff and not really pink either

I wouldn't actually put a dress on her - but just because shes so tiny and dresses are all a bit long on her - and she looks a bit restricted when she is running around and playing in them so i go with comfort over cute and stylish!