To throw away pink things?

[JustAnotherBadMother]

I have DDs aged 15 mo and 1 mo. I hate pink. I hate the way so much girls stuff is pink. I mostly buy them boys things, although I've no problem with dresses and dolls (which I do buy), providing they are not pink. My SIL is the opposite of me in just about everything. She is very OTT in quantity of presents which I find overbearing, and makes me feel bad, and her tastes are the opposite of mine. She buys masses of stuff for my daughters (which I do not need or want), and the vast majority of it makes me want to vomit. It's almost all really expensive (JoJo, Boden, etc), whereas my stuff is almost all a mixture of freecycle and Primark, partly because of money, but tbh personal taste probably plays a bigger role. My mother recently bought some things for my DDs and they were really heavily biased towards pink. She noted herself regretfully that they were overall a bit pink, and commented on how one dress was largely pink but had other colours, when it was 90% pink. My SIL bought an expensive jacket for DD1 a few weeks ago (JoJo, obvs), and said although it was pink she thought I'd still like it.
I don't know why they do it, because they know I absolutely hate pink stuff and it won't be worn. For more than a year all this pink crap has simply been in the cupboard and literally not worn at all.
Today I was just feeling miserable and put a lot of the pink stuff in a bag (inc the new dress my DM bought a couple of weeks ago) and put it all in a public bin. I felt guilty for a few hours and went out to try and find the bag (just to put in the attic, not use), but the bins had been emptied. I think I'm glad about this, but just can't stop thinking about it and feeling miserable about the whole situation.
Why do my DM and SIL do this? If it really was very very occasional and pink was just one of 100 colours I wouldn't care. But it's not. Almost everything my SIL buys is pink pink pink, and a fair chunk of what my DM buys is pink too. I'm fine with pretty dresses which they like buying, but just draw the line at pink.
(NB I would normally give it to charity - I've got masses off freecycle myself - but I have issues with pink and poorer girls been limited by it. That's why not. Plus I'm cross with my SIL and DM for buying all this pink shit when they knew I hate it and it won't be used, and somehow this seemed more appropriate. If they ever find out there'll be more pissed off, which is what I want bc I'm getting upset about all of this. It feels like they are criticising my values and my abilities as a mother.)

Buy secondhand - primark is awful

I find it very strange that you hate a colour. Does it hurt you eyes? Say one of your friends was having a baby shower and they were having a girl would you refuse to attend? Everything would be Pink? Pink balloons, cake etc would you go? You threw away an expensive good quality coat because its pink, Im curious to know how your aversion to pink affects other areas of your life. Or is it just you dont want people to judge you for putting your child in pink?

Also hand the stuff back from now on say no thanks we have too much

Hugely unreasonable.

Not to get rid of the stuff, bit to just dump it. Have you not heard of the environmental crisis? Those clothes could have been put to really good use. Just because you don't like the colour, doesn't mean others don't.

Try imagining you are giving someone baby clothes that are yellow, and it turns out that they don't like yellow. Would you think it okay for them to just bin them?

I'm not entirely convinced this isn't just a stupid wind up.

Ultimate first world problem.
Binning brand new clothes because they’re the wrong colour? That’s really not ok.

I wonder if the kids in Ukraine would care what colour they’re wearing. Absolutely ridiculous.

Don’t use it if you don’t want to, but don’t throw it in the bin - that’s absurd. It’s not up to you what people in charity shops should have access to, a lot of parents want pink for their girls and a lot of girls want pink. They also want unicorns, glitter and barbie. My niece is 5, she’s been given access to all colours and toys, she goes for typically girly every time. I really hope you won’t be so totalitarian if your daughters choose pink themselves. I have a baby girl, she wears every colour under the sun so that when she’s older she can tell me what she likes and I’ll go with that.

This stuff doesn’t need to be a big drama. Just use what you like and give away/sell what you don’t. Chucking it in the bin because of OTT morals is the last thing this planet needs. You can also just tell them you’re not into it and not going to put the girls in it. Doesn’t have to be a big deal where you’re running around trying to fish things out of bins that shouldn’t have gone there in the first place.

Sorry but I think that your attitude is extremely childish. Would you bin all the blue clothes if you had a boy?

This hatred of pink is not only extreme, but also misogynistic. It's stems from the idea that being feminine is degrading.

Ooooh now I understand the word woke!
You are trying so hard to stand against prejudice and sexism that you’ve decided to save the world by getting rid of a colour!

My youngest adored pink and would only eat off the pink plate, drink from the pink cup etc. Luckily he is unaffected by colours.

Throwing away is awful and so, so wasteful when you could donate to charity, give away or even sell online as a bundle. YABVU for that reason.

YANBU to not like pink, but just be aware that your dd's may well not agree with you - I detest pink and always have, avoided it while dd was a baby and young toddler but as soon as she was old enough to express a preference she only wished to wear pink and purple for about 3 years.

I do feel your pain & frustration at not being listened to, but at the end of the day it's just a colour.

Hand it straight back so that you don't have to bin it/donate it?

YANBU to not want to dress your children in a certain colour, thats your choice.

YABU for this statement: I mostly buy them boys things, although I've no problem with dresses and dolls (which I do buy).While agree the pink crap is an issue, gendering toys is sex stereotyping too. (toys, not clothes- in the real world, most parents wouldn't dress their small boy in a dress of any colour)

YABVU chucking them in a bin, as PP have said.

Btw throwing away brand new clothes is one of the most twatish things that you could do.

@Nomoreusernames1244 because like it or not thats what many want , there are loads of non pink now though everywhere for girls
Lots of blue jeans around you team with any t shirt
Plus no written rule that you must buy from the girls section
But if others like it and its what sells

Can you suggest some colours that you are happy with, I have twins and when young I would dress the girls as an alternative purple, denim, blue and sometimes pink.

Your family are generous so perhaps a conversation to find a solution is needed?

My DD doesn’t like pink clothes, I buy her a mix of colours. Your DD’s may decide they like wearing pink when they grow up though. You was unreasonable to bin good-quality clothing that could have been helpful for a struggling family, rather than landfill though. Make it clear to your DM and DS that any pink clothes get taken to the charity shop.

@TabithaTittlemouse

Ooooh now I understand the word woke! You are trying so hard to stand against prejudice and sexism that you’ve decided to save the world by getting rid of a colour!

My youngest adored pink and would only eat off the pink plate, drink from the pink cup etc. Luckily he is unaffected by colours.

She's trying to stop her daughters being indoctrinated into a world view that tells girls they need to be pretty, dainty and passive. It starts in girlhood and continues through into women having less power in adulthood. That's not 'woke', it's obvious if you spent more than five minutes thinking about it.

OP, they'll probably turn three and refuse to wear anything other than pink anyway. Also if you go for boy stuff for them and later have a boy baby, he'll be very boyish then!

Fabric dye is cheap and easy to use. I wouldn't throw the stuff away. You can also cut off frills and bows etc quite easily.

Btw I disagree with you re JoJo Vs Primark etc - good fabric lasts longer and is worth the money. Cheap clothes get holes in the knees and look tatty faster, they're not worth handing down and worse for the environment.

I'd focus more on buying books and toys that challenge the pink deluge.

Go into next, how do you find the girls section? Look for the sea of pink. The boys will be the murky coloured dinosaur themed section

I just went to have a look and, to be fair, almost every item comes in multiple colour ways. At least 3+ colourways for most items and up to 7/8 different print/colours for lots of them. In the boys and girls sections.

I live in jeans and t shirts but love pink purple lilac for trainers etc.love all the pastel colours neon as well.

In l honesty if you're getting so irate over a bloody colour I think a trip to the GP wouldn't go amiss.

Im not a fan of pink either, but it's just a colour. A colour which your massively over thinking (( and there's absolutely no reason ' poorer mothers' can't shop in the boys section or buy many of the none pink girls clothes that are available))

As it goes my dd really suited the colour pink. As did my ds, so they wore it of clothes were bought for them. If it was something I really disliked id keep it for if the gifter was visiting. I didnt have a twat attack and a fit of the vapours over a damn colour.

Not sure this thread is legit but… I doubt ‘poor’ girls have the luxury of sitting around thinking ‘I wish this dress my parents got off freecyle wasn’t pink!’

YANU to dress your daughter’s how you want and not use unwanted gifts but YAVU to throw expensive clothes in the bin because

1. You could sell them on Vinted or similar and use the money to buy what you do like for your kids (jojo type stuff would make at least half value back) or

1. Sell and donate the money to a baby bank or similar so that those in need dont suffer the pink plus

1. No wonder there is a climate emergency if people are going round throwing new baby clothes in a bin ffs

Why do you think putting a girl in a boys outfit will make them want to climb a tree?

It’s easier to climb trees in dark coloured trousers and tee than it is in a pale pink dress. Stains and marks less obvious and they’re less worried about ruining an outfit and getting into trouble.

I found it very interesting when I took my dd to the park in jeans and a tee they’d get admiring comments about how brave they were climbing the frame, going on the big slide, or how boys loved to get messy in the sandpit.

If i took her in “girly” clothes suddenly those comments turned to concern- be careful up there, shall I get your mum, watch out you don’t get that lovely outfit dirty.

Clothes do make a massive difference in how kids are treated- i shall drag out this bbc experiment again…put them in different clothes and watch what happens..

m.youtube.com/watch?v=nWu44AqF0iI

@Nomoreusernames1244 I have never had a shop assistant comment on what a child is buying or direct them to girls section
They want a sale , most don't care what you buy
I have ds they bought a buggy and a hoover no shop assistant cared
I find it strange that people say this and find this and always those that are so objectional to it funnily enough
Im not a girly girl and as a youngster lived in jeans etc i wear more dresses now older as practical
Personally for little girls i fine dresses can be impractical for playing in a park etc, so if i had a girl i would of brought an alternative
My neice was a girly girl but never really wore dresses as she liked butterflies and unicorns etc but also climbed and got dirty so never wore a dress as would of been impractical
People really try to hard

I think refusing to donate it and throwing away good clothing because you ‘have issues with poor girls being limited by pink’ is hugely wasteful and coming from a place of immense privilege.

I have been a young mum in sheltered accommodation who couldn’t afford much in the way of clothes for my kids. The idea that someone would throw away brand new expensive clothes because they didn’t want my ‘poor’ child to be limited by the colour pink would have been outlandish to me, given that often the only offerings were tatty/well used clothes. I scrimped and saved every penny and scoured charity shops for the most new looking clothing because personally I felt my ‘poor child’ was more limited by looking scruffy or sloppy than by wearing a pink jacket.