DH has hidden my make up bag

[AttackCat]

So I am a messy person. DH is a tidy person. This is probably one of the biggest causes of day to day minor disagreements between us.

DH has been complaining about me leaving my make-up bag on the bathroom worktop (it can fit in the cupboard directly under the worktop). He often puts it away if I leave it out (which I often do).

He warned me that if I kept leaving it out, he’d hide it. I went to put my make up on this morning and yes, he has hidden it.

I’m not a huge wearer of make up (I’ll do the school run with a bare face) but I have a client meeting on zoom today so need to look vaguely presentable. I’ve managed to find a tinted moisturiser and a mascara but the make up bag isn’t in any of the bathroom cupboards so he’s properly hidden it.

So who is being unreasonable?

YABU - your fault for being messy
YANBU - DH shouldn’t have hidden your make up even though he’s put up with 20 years of your mess

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping

Surely as an adult and equal in your home and marriage you can leave your make up bag where the fuck you want?

This, and I like a home for everything and everything in its home.

You're both unreasonable. Living with somebody who never tidies up after themselves is wearing and thankfully, the children in my house know better. I couldn't put up with an adult who does it.

However, his actions are not on.

What a fucking arsehole

To be honest if he's asked you many times before I'd say it's fair enough. I bet you won't do it again!!

Bollocks to this. She's not leaving her knickers on the sofa, she's leaving her makeup bag in the bathroom, like most people do. She is just not hiding the bag as her husband prefers.

He is not the boss of her makeup bag, and he does not get to decide that it must be hidden, and he does NOT get to teach her a lesson about it.

It must be annoying for him, but this isn’t the solution. He isn’t your parent who gets to punish you for misdemeanours.

My brain is like your’s ie once I have done something I forget about it and it makes me very messy. I have discovered I have inattentive ADHD - maybe google this and see if it applies to you.

Wouldn't be having that op.

My husband moans at me randomly because I leave sets of clothes on the Chaise longe thingy at the end of the bed ,I bought it for exactly that reason.

Every now and then il go upstairs and he's put all my clothes away and it really pisses me off

So I found something he does which annoys me, leaves his gym protein shakers in the sink lid still on instead of putting them in dishwasher so I started piling them up dirty and left them.

When he commented on it I told him when he leaves my stuff alone il leave his

Your a grown adult in your own home. If he can't cope with you leaving a make up bag out and that's all he's got to focus on tel him he's sad

He definitely shouldn't have hidden it, but living with someone like you would be a nightmare. You really can't manage to pick up after yourself?

Leaving a make up bag on the bathroom counter is hardly messy. Is every item hidden away all the time?

Bollocks to this. She's not leaving her knickers on the sofa, she's leaving her makeup bag in the bathroom, like most people do. She is just not hiding the bag as her husband prefers

Bollocks as you say, I think if the OP says they are messy , then it's the thin end of the wedge. The bag is probably "had enough".

I'd go ballistic, but then I never leave the house without make up so it's essential to me. I'd be hiding something of his. In the bin.

I was going to say your DH sounds unreasonable and OCD if he can’t cope with a makeup bag out on a worktop, but then I read on and saw that you also leave cups everywhere and now think YAU and that he should LTS (leave the slob).

Petty of him.

Ignoring that - if you are still looking for it my suggestions are - his wardrobe, under bed, utility room, bottom of your wardrobe ?

@HellToTheNope

He definitely shouldn't have hidden it, but living with someone like you would be a nightmare. You really can't manage to pick up after yourself?

Living with someone who leaves a makeup bag on the bathroom counter would be a nightmare? Have you lived a charmed life?

@ittakes2

My brain is like your’s ie once I have done something I forget about it and it makes me very messy. I have discovered I have inattentive ADHD - maybe google this and see if it applies to you.

I am actually looking into this already!

I feel his pain! I’m reasonably tidy but DH is messy (lazy) and it drives me up the bloody wall. Stuff left everywhere, usually inches from where it should live. It shows a lack of respect for the person you share space with.

Don’t even get me started on the expectation on women to wear full make up to make a good impression’ 🙄

I'd be furious if dh hid my make up bag.

But, if the sexes were reversed on this one and a dh had repeatedly left an item lying around making a mess then plenty of people on mumsnet would be encouraging the woman to hide it/bin it or whatever else.

My dh constantly twitters about my messy dressing table but he wouldn't move my stuff and certainly wouldn't hide it.

@BettyBotte the OP admits she leaves dirty cups everywhere too. Many people on here have said it’s only a make up bag, it’s not like you are leaving dirty cups out for him to put in the dishwasher. So the OP is doing things people would be annoyed about

I think if the OP says they are messy , then it's the thin end of the wedge. The bag is probably "had enough".

It’s definitely the thin end of the wedge.

Living with someone who leaves a makeup bag on the bathroom counter would be a nightmare? Have you lived a charmed life?

Based on OPs follow up response about leaving cups everywhere as well, then I am going to assume the make up bag is the tip of the iceberg. OP admits that once she has done something she simply forgets about it.

When you say you leave it out on the counter - do you put all your makeup back in the bag when you're done and leave the bag sitting or is all the makeup still out as well?

If the latter, I think you are both being U! He shouldn't have hidden your makeup bag, however, you've said the cupboard to put it in is literally right below. I think saying "I don't consciously leave it out" is a cop out to be honest, it would take you less than a minute to just put it in the cupboard.
As you've said you also leave cups on the side etc, it sounds like you have a habit of just leaving things lying around which would drive me nuts and I'm by no means an overly tidy person.

He is U for hiding it, it's petty and immature and it would have taken him the same amount of time to just put it in the cupboard below if it bothered him

@Weekendtobegin

I'd be furious if dh hid my make up bag.

But, if the sexes were reversed on this one and a dh had repeatedly left an item lying around making a mess then plenty of people on mumsnet would be encouraging the woman to hide it/bin it or whatever else.

Yes I thought this.

Did you ask for it back OP? As you needed it for a meeting I think your DH is in the wrong as he's escaluted the situation plus you've been married a long time!

Do you do anything to try and tidy up?