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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inheritance query. Is sister being cheeky or is it me?

188 replies

IndeterminateCaptainNoises · 23/03/2022 22:52

Our lovely dm died some years ago. Everything spilt 50-50 between DSis and I. (Some money left directly to the grandchildren) . Recently we have been made aware of some more money (approx £800) coming through a policy that's matured. I was thinking even split but dsis wants to use it to buy things for the children. Aibu to say she can spend her half how she wants but I want my half?

OP posts:
stevalnamechanger · 23/03/2022 22:53

CF . 50/50 ... unless £400 isn't worth an argument to you

PinkiOcelot · 23/03/2022 22:55

I think it should be 50/50 then she can treat her kids out of her half.

MichelleScarn · 23/03/2022 22:56

Just her children? Pretty rude if so!

girlmom21 · 23/03/2022 22:57

What does she want to buy and for whom?

Kitkat151 · 23/03/2022 22:57

50/50.... no ifs...no buts

Kitkat151 · 23/03/2022 22:58

@girlmom21

What does she want to buy and for whom?
It’s irrelevant
NorthSouthcatlady · 23/03/2022 22:58

50/50. She’s a total CF

HollowTalk · 23/03/2022 22:59

She can want whatever she wants but it belongs to each of you 50-50.

Cocomarine · 23/03/2022 23:01

What’s she actually said? If she’s just put forward an idea, it’s not cheeky at all. It’s just that - an idea.

Whateverfuckingnext · 23/03/2022 23:01

Depends on your relationship and situation I suppose.
In theory yes it should be 50/50 but, what are both your circumstances?
For example, me and my sister are very close and would spilt 50/50.
However, if one of us was falling on hard times or needed the money more than the other then I am pretty certain one of us would offer to take less.

girlmom21 · 23/03/2022 23:03

@Kitkat151 if she wants to do a day trip with all the kids to somewhere they've been begging to go it might be reasonable.

If her husbands just left her and she can't afford to buy her kids new school shoes and OP's just got a bit promotion it might be reasonable.

It's not irrelevant.

HomeHomeInTheRange · 23/03/2022 23:03

If she left a specific amount to the DGC and then the rest 50/50 to you and your DSis then the policy belongs to you both, half and half.

Tell her you’d rather make your own decisions about your share, but hope her kids enjoy hers.

LoudingVoice · 23/03/2022 23:05

Do you both have children or just her?

Should be 50:50 and she can do what she likes with her half.

Sswhinesthebest · 23/03/2022 23:08

Presumably it’s only her that has kids?

50/50

65honeybee · 23/03/2022 23:08

If your mother's will stated that the inheritance is split 50/50 (apart from specific amounts for grandchildren) then it's absolutely not up to your sister to try to dictate anything else. She can do what she wants with her share and can butt out of what you do with yours

MerryMarigold · 23/03/2022 23:10

Need more details OP. Does she have more kids than you? How are both your families finances? I do think these things are relevant eg.

You have no kids (or a baby) and she wants to take the kids on holiday with the money then not really fair.
BUT she hasn't been away for years with her kids and you've been on loads of breaks then I think you could do her a kindness

Etc. Etc. She may be being a CF or she may be desperate to spend some money on her kids.

Sadly, money tends to reveal priorities, so it's revealing them on her end and on yours. I'd say even if you're both short of money 400.00 is not worth damaging a relationship over. If it's already well damaged then 50:50 is the safest option.

MerryMarigold · 23/03/2022 23:14

Also, you could ask yourself 'if mum was alive, what would she have wanted to do with the money?'

Viviennemary · 23/03/2022 23:16

Absolutely agree. 50/50 is the fairest way. Does she have a reason for wanting it split differently.

Clymene · 23/03/2022 23:32

How lovely that she wants to spend her share of the money on treating her children. You're going to spend yours on bathing in Nutella. Or whatever you fancy.

Basically her fecundity doesn't mean you have to give up your share.

3Daddy31982 · 23/03/2022 23:35

Anyone else think Merry is the sister?

ClaudiusTheGod · 23/03/2022 23:40

Also, you could ask yourself 'if mum was alive, what would she have wanted to do with the money?'

The mum made her wishes clear with the will which was 50% to each daughter. We have wills precisely so potential beneficiaries don’t get to say ‘mum would have wanted me to treat the kids / mum would have wanted to be completely fair’.

3Daddy31982 · 23/03/2022 23:40

Merry...the sister is exceptionally fortunate to live in the UK. Food, an education, child benefit and shelter will be afforded to her.

It doesn't matter if sister has had one holiday or one hundred. The money is half ops and half ops sister. You can NOT spend another's share on jollies for your offspring.

Chloemol · 23/03/2022 23:42

50/50, she can them her half on the kids

JackieWeaver101 · 23/03/2022 23:43

The £800 must be distributed according to your mum's well. It is not a matter of opinion.

From what you stated above, the will stated 50-50.

3Daddy31982 · 23/03/2022 23:45

Bollocks if her husband is shagging his way round Europe or she can't afford school shoes. Aldi has school shoes for 5.99. Child benefit is 21 per week.