Inheritance query. Is sister being cheeky or is it me?

[IndeterminateCaptainNoises]

Our lovely dm died some years ago. Everything spilt 50-50 between DSis and I. (Some money left directly to the grandchildren) . Recently we have been made aware of some more money (approx £800) coming through a policy that's matured. I was thinking even split but dsis wants to use it to buy things for the children. Aibu to say she can spend her half how she wants but I want my half?

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

How typically MN is it that some people are waving away £400 as if it's nothing? If we were talking 4p, then it's probably safe to assume that most people would find it a trifling amount; but people's circumstances differ radically: just as Jeff Bezos could lose $4million down the back of the sofa and not notice it gone, there are plenty of people for whom £400 - sometimes even £4 - can be an absolute lifeline.

£400 each would go precisely nowhere in solicitor fees for a dispute, it would be used up on the first letter and response. Let's not pretend OP could buy a house with it while her sister wants to stick it all on roulette. In most of the country £400 is less than a month's rent or a week on holiday, which makes it a very small amount in terms of annual expenses.

We still don't know how many kids there are nor the proposal; say if they have 1 or 2 each or even one have 2 and the other 1, with sister suggesting a family holiday somewhere for the kids. Many people would spend £400 on that, even with low income, and would think that's a nice idea for an unexpected family windfall; exactly the type of thing a grandma would have wanted. OP can still just say "no thanks, I'm in too much debt and would rather use it for that", but the sister is perfectly reasonable to ask.

Lots of reasons why this money has just come to light.. my aunt had shares NO-ONE knew about and it was 3 years after her death, when the new owner of her house kindly forwarded a letter we found out about them!
The money should be divided according to your Mums wishes.. no question of that.

50/50 and then spend it on whatever. Not fair otherwise.

@gogohm

Do you both have kids? Are you particularly struggling? I think the idea of a family day out with all the kids sounds a lovely idea, £800 isn't a huge amount of money (unless you are really struggling) but a good amount to give the kids a really memorable day or even weekend funded by their grandmother

Fucking hell. Some people really have no clue.

Ah OK, cross posted. It isn't reasonable toy for sister to take the money just for her own kids, I'd tell her it's fine for her to spend her £400 however she wants but you'll put your £400 towards something else thanks.

@gogohm

Do you both have kids? Are you particularly struggling? I think the idea of a family day out with all the kids sounds a lovely idea, £800 isn't a huge amount of money (unless you are really struggling) but a good amount to give the kids a really memorable day or even weekend funded by their grandmother

that's an almost offensively bad take.

Well if you have no children then it's not really being split is it? She has already had more go her way as her children benefited from the will.

So no I don't think it's right for her to take £800 for her children & leave you with nothing.

Split 50/50 & then she can do what she wants with her £400.

@MerryMarigold

I don’t understand why people are saying it’s ok if they have equal amounts of children. It’s ops money which she needs for other stuff

People are just saying the sister's suggestion isn't CFery.

But it IS. Even if the OP has children as well, it’s none of her sister’s damn business whether they see a penny of it.

OP’s sister can treat her children. She has £400 with which to do so. What happens to the OP’s £400 is up to her.

No no no so many wrong answers here! Not all policies will fall under the deceased person’s estate so no, the will may not apply! There are some polices that will not form part of the estate and will have a named beneficiary instead and in that case they get the lot; it really depends on the terms of the specific policy so no one can give you a definite answer here OP.

Tell her the local dcat home would appreciate the 800.
She is a cf in huge proportions..

She wants to 'spend it on all the kids' yet she's the only one WITH kids? No, absolutely not!

@TulaOfDarkWater

No no no so many wrong answers here! Not all policies will fall under the deceased person’s estate so no, the will may not apply! There are some polices that will not form part of the estate and will have a named beneficiary instead and in that case they get the lot; it really depends on the terms of the specific policy so no one can give you a definite answer here OP.

But if this was the case, the beneficiary would have been informed.

As others have correctly said, it needs to be split 50/50 as per the Will. Simple. If not, you have not executed the Will correctly and will therefore be liable to repercussions.

Let's not pretend OP could buy a house with it while her sister wants to stick it all on roulette. In most of the country £400 is less than a month's rent or a week on holiday, which makes it a very small amount in terms of annual expenses.

It only takes the tiniest amount of common sense to realise that, if the rent is £500 and you struggle to make it every month, having 80% of it drop into your lap one month makes a massive difference. Or that if you’re paying off credit card debt, wiping out what could be a year’s worth of minimum payments means you reduce both the amount you’re paying interest on AND your monthly outgoings.

But no, £400 is a bag of Cadbury’s fucking buttons.

But if this was the case, the beneficiary would have been informed.

Who knows, maybe the sister has been informed hence the plans to spend the money on her kids. OP hasn’t given enough information and only asked if the terms of the will apply and the correct answer to that is maybe or maybe not, it depends on the specific policy whether it forms part of the estate or not.

Tell her you agree, all the kids get equal shares and you're going to have five.

£400 each would go precisely nowhere in solicitor fees for a dispute, it would be used up on the first letter and response. Let's not pretend OP could buy a house with it while her sister wants to stick it all on roulette. In most of the country £400 is less than a month's rent or a week on holiday, which makes it a very small amount in terms of annual expenses.

We still don't know how many kids there are nor the proposal; say if they have 1 or 2 each or even one have 2 and the other 1, with sister suggesting a family holiday somewhere for the kids. Many people would spend £400 on that, even with low income, and would think that's a nice idea for an unexpected family windfall; exactly the type of thing a grandma would have wanted. OP can still just say "no thanks, I'm in too much debt and would rather use it for that", but the sister is perfectly reasonable to ask.

Where did the legal fees thing come from? Everybody knows how much legal fees can cost, which is why access to justice is very often only a privilege for the wealthy. Aston Martins cost a lot of money too, but OP isn't suggesting buying one of those either. Just because £400 would go nowhere towards buying a very expensive luxury, that doesn't mean that many people wouldn't find it a lifeline to meet basic essential costs. Also, you don't necessarily have to be in a lot of debt to not have money available to spend on luxuries - poor people are terrified of getting into debt in the first place, as they don't have the option of sticking it on a credit card and using some of their next executive Christmas bonus to clear it off.

Moreover, there's a wide spectrum of 'low income'. Some households can and do choose to budget very carefully and make sacrifices elsewhere to be able to go on a relatively cheap holiday; to others, no matter how much they cut back, even one of the Sun £10 holidays would never be within their reach.

I've been in the position where I didn't have 50p available for a loaf of bread. Thankfully, I'm not in that position now, but I hope I never lose perspective of what life is like for a great many poor - not just 'not particularly well-off' people.

No its 50/50 her kids have already been left an amount plus she can still buy gifts with 400

shes playing on your guilt because she has dc

She wants the whole amount for her kids. No question at all that this CFery. Tell her you want your half and don’t even dignify her ridiculous suggestion with a response.

Now we know the situation wrt kids, she has quite safely won the '100% CF Gold Award'. Talk about "Tell me you want me to give you £400 without actually asking me to give you £400".

That reminds me of the letter our DS came home from school with, once: the PTA were most definitely NOT asking parents to give them money, but rather (massive difference) simply to 'collect up their spare change over the next few weeks' and send it in (or preferably a cheque/banknotes to the equivalent value)....

By the sounds of it, OP, you are hoping to have your own children at some point: why should they end up missing out on money from their DGM, just because they haven't been born yet?

They've already missed out on direct bequests in the will that their older cousins will have benefited from - unless your sister is planning on evening that out by encouraging her children to retrospectively share their bequests from their DGM equally with ALL of the DGC she ends up having. I wonder if that's what she's dutifully planning

She can spend her half on the children or whatever she wants. You can spend your half on whatever you want. She can't spend your half for you unless you choose to gift it to her.

Try telling her that you were thinking of spending the whole £800 on paying off some of your debts or getting a new TV or something else equally selfish (not saying that it would be selfish at all to want to use your half on any of those).

The reaction she gives you is the exact same one that you need to double back on to her.

We all want the best for our kids, but they're OUR kids: we don't just expect other people to give things up or provide for them.

Gosh people are funny when it comes to money and inheritance.
Of course the terms of the Will still apply, so it should be split 50:50 between the sisters by the sounds of it, but I don’t think your sister is being unreasonable or outrageous suggesting you use the money to treat the kids to something nice, particularly if she is unaware of your financial situation. She probably just wants to make sure the money is used for something special with the money, rather than just getting absorbed into her household budget.
Split the money 50:50, but I would be prepared for her kids to accidentally drop in about a treat with grandma’s money at some point. You might want to do something little like buying some afternoon tea bits and going for a fun picnic or something so your kids think they’ve done something too.

If the will states 50/50 with sister then this additional money is surely a 50/50 with sister unless it is stipulated otherwise.

She can then spend her 50% as she wants.

You might want to do something little like buying some afternoon tea bits and going for a fun picnic or something so your kids think they’ve done something too.

MrsWinters
The OP doesn't have children yet.