Inheritance query. Is sister being cheeky or is it me?

[IndeterminateCaptainNoises]

Our lovely dm died some years ago. Everything spilt 50-50 between DSis and I. (Some money left directly to the grandchildren) . Recently we have been made aware of some more money (approx £800) coming through a policy that's matured. I was thinking even split but dsis wants to use it to buy things for the children. Aibu to say she can spend her half how she wants but I want my half?

I don't understand what 'use it to buy things for the children' actually means. She can spend her half on her children or anyone else's that she chooses to. Are you saying she expects you to spend the money on some children? In which case - CF. She can no more dictate how you spend this £400 than she can dictate how you spend your usual household income.

I don't understand how a policy can be maturing now for someone who died some years ago?

Anyway, it has to be split according to the terms of the will. It's not optional to do anything different.

If your DM left everything in her estate 50:50 then she's only entitled to half of this policy. She's a CF to assume she can have it all to treat her kids. Although you may not have been aware of it at the time, this policy still forms part of your DM's estate.

@VanGoghsDog

How was the estate of someone who died some years ago not properly settled to the extent that a "policy" is still outstanding? Did the executor not notify the policy provider? Probate will need to be updated!

Not all estates go to probate - small estates can just be dealt with by family - my solicitor just wrote me a letter for banks etc saying the size of the estate was small - it was below the probate threshold for whatever banks it was held in. I've just checked and the current upper limit for Halifax, for example, appears to be £50k.

Why would she even think that she gets to keep it all?

Legally half is yours, so if you're entitled if you want it. She will receive an unexpected £400 to treat her children if she really wants to. I

'm not sure if all the GC benefitted under the Will, but if hers did and they really need something that would benefit them, you used to be able to have an early release of funds towards whatever provided all Trustees of the funds agree.

I don't really understand why you are asking when it's so obvious that the money should be spilt equally?

Obviously 50/50 split as per the will. What's she done with the original 50% she got? What's happened to the money left to her children? Should be enough for treats for them from those bequests..

I don’t understand why people are saying it’s ok if they have equal amounts of children. It’s ops money which she needs for other stuff.

I also can’t see how something is maturing years after the estate has wound up, surely this means you’ll need to update probate.

Your mistake is questioning whether half is yours. It is. Has she asked you for your half? Next time she brings up buying stuff for the kids just say 'That's nice, I'm sure they'll love it. With my half I'm going to pay off X.' If she says she was hoping to use the full amount look shocked and ask her when she was planning on asking you for your half. Then say sorry but you've already earmarked it for other things/don't the the finances to lend money atm.

50:50 - the will and your mothers wishes still stands

I don’t understand why people are saying it’s ok if they have equal amounts of children. It’s ops money which she needs for other stuff

People are just saying the sister's suggestion isn't CFery.

The executor of the will must pay each of you half each. That is how it works, even if it is an amount that has come out after the main will was administered. They can't just give it all to your sister.

If your sister is the executor you may have difficulties as I suppose she could pay it all to herself and it would them be about if you can be bothered to go through the legal process of holding her accountable financially which can be done but of course may be a lot of time and effort for £400

If you share the executor role or someone else has it, then it should be easy enough to make sure you get your half by making sure that the executor pays you half each into your accounts

16Fatgalslim

PutinIsAWarCriminal

You haven't said who has how many children, so its hard to judge whether she is being a cf.
If we had an unexpected family small windfall after an inheritance I would perhaps suggest to siblings that we all did something nice together with the money. Siblings could say yes or no, but it isn't cf to make the suggestion.

It's completely irrelevant how many kids there are, it was left 50/50, and the OP states the kids were left something originally.

You misunderstood my point, if sister has 4 kids and op has 1 then it changes the position completely. If both have same number of dc then a fair split is still being suggested. My point really was that the suggestion itself is only cheeky if sister is wanting more than half.

Your mums wishes was 50/50, if you want to give your ds a gift if £400 then that's up to you.

@Mariposa67

I don't understand how a policy can be maturing now for someone who died some years ago?

Anyway, it has to be split according to the terms of the will. It's not optional to do anything different.

It doesn't happen so much now (if at all) but there used to be things called endowment policies. They were a life insurance policy for so many years or until the insured person hit a set age and then they were made "paid up" you didn't pay any more premiums and at a set point in time or when the person died, the policy paid out. well they still exist in some form. www.unbiased.co.uk/life/pensions-retirement/what-is-an-endowment-policy-and-should-i-get-one

Agree half each, end of. Kids irrelevant in this scenario

Sure, she can take her 400 and buy her kids some gifts, no issues.

How typically MN is it that some people are waving away £400 as if it's nothing? If we were talking 4p, then it's probably safe to assume that most people would find it a trifling amount; but people's circumstances differ radically: just as Jeff Bezos could lose $4million down the back of the sofa and not notice it gone, there are plenty of people for whom £400 - sometimes even £4 - can be an absolute lifeline.

It should be split 50/50 then if she wants to give to her children then it's up to her.

Do you both have children? Or would it mean her children get a treat and you get nothing?

[quote girlmom21]@Kitkat151 if she wants to do a day trip with all the kids to somewhere they've been begging to go it might be reasonable.

If her husbands just left her and she can't afford to buy her kids new school shoes and OP's just got a bit promotion it might be reasonable.

It's not irrelevant. [/quote]
I agree.

Of course she’s being a cheeky fucker, don’t doubt yourself on this. The facts of whom has children or not, how many children, whether one is financially better off than the other is immaterial. As per the terms of your mothers last will and testament, when dividing the estate, you are both entitled to 50% each.

What each of you want to do with that money is your decision, and yours alone. Tell her to jog on.

If she was genuinely struggling then I’m sure you’d be having a different discussion, but someone who wants to blow £800 on gifts for children when the other beneficiary clearly needs her share for unexpected expenses has their head so far up their own arse it’s untrue.

I also think that the number of children you both have makes a difference as to whether or not she's a CF. If you each have two kids and she's thinking of spending £200 on each child for some kind of very special joint experience, as long as it's only a suggestion, I don't think that's necessarily that bad (albeit she should realise that you may not be in a position to spend it on luxuries, unless she's one of the MN '£400 is too little an amount to register as actual money' brigade).

However, if she has 5 kids and you have none, and her saying "Shall we just spend it on treating the kids?" is basically a thinly-veiled way of saying "I want you to give up your share so that my family can have the lot" - that is serious CF territory.

All, thank you for the responses.
I really don't want to fall out with DSis over this, which is why have not said anything yet. I just felt a bit aggrieved she had decided what to do with the money. To answer some queries
I don't have children yet, we were both executors on the will. DSIs's children were all left an equal amount at the time. We are both in similar financial positions. Given the will was clear on the 50/50 as someone said may blame that.

Yes your sister is a CF