To expect family money being passed on

[Soffana]

Am I being AIBU if I think that parents that had an inheritance and profited on that when it comes to property investment should pass money on to the next generation and not spend it all?

That money should be passed on from generation to generation?

For example helping next generation buying property?

@Lou98

What would be the point though in inheriting money to just keep passing that money down and nobody ever spending it?

If they've bought property with it, surely they'll then leave that property to somebody.

If they haven't and they've wasted it all away, it was their money to do with as they wish

Completely agree

@OceanAvenue alone? With no family help? What’s the length of your mortgage?

What’s the point in people just hoarding money and passing it on and no one ever really feeling the benefit of it?! Does it just keep going until it’s passed onto someone who doesn’t have kids and then they can just go wild and enjoy themselves?!

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

THERE IS NO NEED TO SHOUT.

Is there a difference in money your grandparents earned versus your parents? If you just expect it to fall into you lap?

[quote Pumperthepumper]@OceanAvenue alone? With no family help? What’s the length of your mortgage?[/quote]
With a partner, combined income 50K, no family help, standard 25yr mortgage

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy I disagree, given how many people have misunderstood the OP

I've said previously on the thread what I think.

Could you have bought the same house without the second income?

@Pumperthepumper

Could you have bought the same house without the second income?

Was that for me? And not without my partner at the time, now I could (but I earn considerably more than I did in 2019 now)

I agree with you OP, in that I want to help my own family, but it is up to the individual what they do.

When my dm died a few years ago, my siblings and I equally inherited her estate. I kept the money I inherited in a separate account, and when the time came, I used this money to gift each of my children enough to pay the deposit on a house (we live in a relatively cheap housing area). In fact I actually ended up using some of my own savings as well as there wasn’t enough in the account.

I know how hard it is to get on the property ladder, so it was important to me to help them out. My dh wasn’t best pleased, but it was my money, so he accepted that I could do what I wanted with it. I am now a widow so not really interested in spending money, so they will also receive an inheritance when I die. I have also opened accounts for my dgc, so they will receive some money too.

I’m not rolling in money, but I have an emergency pot and manage to live frugally and really don’t have anything much I want to spend money on!

In short, I think everyone should share, like decent human beings.

It was for you Ocean, yes. So if you needed the second income for your first house, how does that support the idea that single income people have poor money management if they still live at home?

And as an aside, you must also have a phenomenal job aged 27 (?) if a bank would lend that much mortgage to you alone with a single-income deposit.

^ I agree but I don’t think there should be the expectation.

@Pumperthepumper

It was for you Ocean, yes. So if you needed the second income for your first house, how does that support the idea that single income people have poor money management if they still live at home?

And as an aside, you must also have a phenomenal job aged 27 (?) if a bank would lend that much mortgage to you alone with a single-income deposit.

I never said that people with a single income living at home had poor money management. There’s always a miriad of factors at play. As I said, where I am is quite cheap so it would have been possible for me to save up and buy alone (a small terraced or flat). That’s evidently not the case if you live in London or SE.

And yes, with no childcare (yet) banks would lend me 4x my salary and due to luck and hard work I’ve more than doubled my wage in 3 years.

Ah, the other poster (who my comment was in reference to) said people had poor financial sense, in that case.

That is lucky, well done you

@Pumperthepumper thank you! It was more to say it is possible to buy without much family help, under certain circumstances.

I’m well aware that my situation is mostly down to luck and I never take it for granted ☺️ Anyway I’ll stop de-railing the thread anyway.

@Pumperthepumper

Also a 35 year mortgage is very poor financial management.

It’s the only way some people can manage to buy a house. You have to have some money in the first place to manage it well.

The sensible thing would be to invest the inheritance money so it generates an income. You spend the income however you like, but pass down the investment to the next generation. It’s pretty batshit crazy how every generation effectively starts from scratch each time.

Blossom, I’m well aware it’s the only way people can buy a house. It’s still a poor decision. Especially if you’re already in your mid-twenties when you sign up to it.

“Also a 35 year mortgage is very poor financial management.”

Not if you invest the difference. Long term you’d make more than you’d save on the mortgage repayments.

No generation should expect the previous to pass on anything. If we have assets when we pop our clogs they will be left for our kids to split equally.

I’ve already told my two DS’s that their dad and I are going to spend our money enjoying our retirement. It does seem many people are eagerly waiting for elderly relatives to pop their clogs to get their grabby little hands on ‘their’ inheritance.

An acquaintance of mine and her children have just inherited after her father passed. However, her kids were filling their boots so to speak before he had even died, by getting ‘gifts’ and asking for ‘help’ even though he was really unwell. One of her grabby kids (23) managed to snag himself a Porsche telling his grandad that he needed transport to get to work. I don’t even think it registered with any of them how wrong this all was.

If my kids want anything, they can work for it.

How awful if someone’s children are complete arseholes to their parents but will still inherit money from them.

Well, but imagine the alternative: I have been nicer to you, so I should get more than my siblings. Oh, is that why you were nice to me, because of money? How awful. Or, the parent rewards one child more for bending to their wishes, which may or may not be completely unreasonable, (marry this person, not that; don't be gay; I don't like people of a different ethnicity/religion, bend to my will or you're out) punishing the others. It's the plot of King Lear, and that didn't end well for anyone concerned!

At any rate, such provisions don't rule out unequal divisions of property. They simply assert that you owe something to the children that you, of your own free will, brought into the world. And if they are arseholes, well, maybe that has something to do with you, as a parent...

None of this is the OP's hypothetical case though. Their question is whether the profits from a portion of wealth that has been inherited rather than earned should be passed on in the here and now.

It's an interesting question, but the OP's position seems to boil down to thinking the family pie comprises 'what you really have because you earned it' and 'what is there to be sliced into by your offspring whenever the need arises, because you only inherited it.' I think there are ways of ringfencing wealth into trusts so that it can be preserved rather than spent, (although I guess there has to be a beneficiary of a trust, and sooner or later the property can be accessed somehow) and presumably this option was open to previous generations. So either they didn't know they could do this (shame) or they did know, and didn't care to do it.

DH and I have both been lucky to have inherited from our respective parents.We have used some of this to help our DCs get on the housing ladder and still been able to have a comfortable life style ourselves.Our DCs know that when when we're no longer here, any money or assets will be shared equally between them.

I agree with you. Its only kind and generous. I say this as someone who missed out due to a maniplualted df and one who wished vwrbally.but failed to stipulate legally that monies shd be passed down. Its all gone to one person step mum who is spending like mad and will not help her dg children with small kind gestures.
As such dh and I are sacrificing as much as we can with limited savings of 40 k to try to help family without the step up ourselves . I think it is totally natural to want to help your family. Step mum prefers to have two new kitchen sinnthe space of ten years instead of even a £ 50 quid to her grandkids.

I would be supportive of 100% inheritance tax.

Otherwise the imbalance in society just keeps persisting.