To feel robbed of parenthood?

[csm93]

Partner and I are late-20's/early 30's. Feel absolutely shafted with everything that is going on. Cost of living crisis, war, pandemic/lockdowns, stagnant wages etc. I know thousands/millions will be in the same boat. And I'm sure lots of those people view it differently. But we had a conversation last night saying that there is no way we could bring a child into this world, with all the uncertainty, the financial insecurity and the unknown as to what kind of society our child would grow up in.
Feel like our generation has been totally screwed over, and feel resentful of that.

Aibu?
Would you start a family in the current climate??

There’s still another decade when you could have a child. Also you’re letting your own anxieties rule your life. Yabu

Dramatic much?!

Only you stopping you from having a family

If you look back over the last hundred years, there has been 2 world wars, pandemics, cold war, recessions and nuclear accidents. The 2020s don’t have the monopoly on things being difficult.

My dad was born in 1940, conceived in late 1939. They had been trying for over 5 years. There is never a ‘right time’. You are either ready or you aren’t.

I also see this as very dramatic and sounding like a victim. Other generations have had lots to contend with too but like most, they just got on with it.

Life was extremely harsh in, for example, the Middle Ages. Happily, people didn’t stop having children. Life goes on, op. Except it won’t, if everyone’s like you!

My Dgf was a child during the great depression, had an absentee father, fought in a world war, went on to travel the world, had a lovely family and home, survived cancer twice and died 90.

YABVU

Ok pandemic you might have a point but do you think there has never been war or inflation before?

Fine if you have made a choice to not have kids, but many people have been in the same circumstances and chosen to still have kids. It's fine if you don't want to but the self indulgent hand wringing about how you "can't" is your choice.

I don’t want children, not for any of the reasons you’ve mentioned, being a mum just isn’t for me, but if I wanted children then I wouldn’t let any of those things stop me. As others have said people have had children through bad times -globally, nationally, financially, professionally and personally.

Having children is a basic biological instinct. It doesn't depend on circumstances being perfect. If it did most species would be extinct! However if you don't want to then don't. It's hard work and destroys your freedom. You can have a great life without children.

I think you’re overthinking it.

Human race we managed to procreate through much worse than virus outbreaks and increase in taxes.

Times might feel uncertain, but if you let it overtake your life, you will most likely regret it in the future.

I can completely understand not wanting to bring children into this world - and if you don't want to that's absolutely fine. But people have had babies in far, far worse circumstances than we face in the Western world at the moment.

There's always stuff going on in the world though. The only people that are stopping you having kids is you. The world hasn't shafted you.

Is this meant to be a dig at people who already have children?

I voted YANBU but then read the comments and have to say I agree. You are actually being unreasonable.

But weird to come on mumsnet and tell us all how irresponsible it would be to have kids at the minute tbh. The vast majority of people here have kids. Many of us will have been born when there was a more or less constant threat of nuclear war, during the Cold War. People kept on having kids during the world wars, during the Great Depression, during the plague.

Sorry but as someone who struggled to have even one baby and never had anymore I can't read this with any sympathy

Don't be so dramatic, have kids if you want them.

I managed quiet happily as a child to live through the 70's (inflation, oil shortages, blackouts) and 80's (cold war, Threads, Thatcher, unemployment) - yab a bit ott - life always finds a way - my childhood was very poor but filled with lovely moments of joy thanks to my mum

I'm a bit gloomy and worried generally but I wouldn't have given up my chance at parenthood under any circumstance. I have stopped at 1 for lots of the reasons you state - money, climate change, war, pandemic. But having my DD is a glory that I wouldn't have missed for anything.

I did bring a child into this world in this current situation (last year) but I can relate to what you are saying. Mostly I worry about climate change. That's not something that previous generations had hanging over them though I guess there were plenty of people who were convinced or who had been told that the world would end soon.

I do think your generation has been shafted a bit (I'm in my forties). Yes, there the world has always had issues but I remember that in the 90s and early 2000s it looked like we were finally heading in the right direction and then we just had one disaster after the other showing us basically that our current way of living, our current comfortable and luxurious way of living wasn't sustainable. I think what sets your generation apart might be that you are in most ways worse off than your parents (not that this hasn't happened in the past but it's not that common).

Not all is lost though. Like others have said people have always hung on to hope and had children even in less than perfect circumstances. If you are worried then try to contribute making this world a better place to live in for our kids. That's what I'm planning to Do. I don't know if I'll have much of an impact but all we can do is try our best and hope.

'Robbed?' Get a grip.

yabu also weird and precious

Shafted by what or who? You sound very dramatic. We have it easy now compared to some periods in history. It hasn’t stopped me having a family.