To feel robbed of parenthood?

[csm93]

Partner and I are late-20's/early 30's. Feel absolutely shafted with everything that is going on. Cost of living crisis, war, pandemic/lockdowns, stagnant wages etc. I know thousands/millions will be in the same boat. And I'm sure lots of those people view it differently. But we had a conversation last night saying that there is no way we could bring a child into this world, with all the uncertainty, the financial insecurity and the unknown as to what kind of society our child would grow up in.
Feel like our generation has been totally screwed over, and feel resentful of that.

Aibu?
Would you start a family in the current climate??

I’ve got young kids. Don’t remotely regret having them. I focus on my own life, my own happiness & mostly my kids. The worlds always been a mess & it will continue to be.. we only get one shot at it & I’ll do what makes me happy. Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.

Having grown up through the 60s and 70s and been in my 20s during the 80s, my first memories of world news was the daily reporting of the Vietnam war, the Irish troubles and the constant black cloud of the Cold War. Moving from 70s into the 80s we had the general strikes, 3 day weeks, real fuel and energy shortages with fuel rationing and power cuts when electricity was cut off to domestic users so industries could continue to operate. Then we had the Middle East problems during the 90s.
Although Putins latest activities are concerning, I think your generation have grown up in one of the most stable periods of history. Maybe it’s time to be a grown up and stop catastrophising. If your ancestors had had the same attitude you would not be here.

Good job our parents and grandparents living through the second world didn’t have this silly attitude!

My children where conceived in the gulf War, then my last child was conceived in 2007 ...a pretty big recession . You are being dramatic and there will never be a right time for you, as things are happening constantly .

@Duracellbunnywannabe

If you look back over the last hundred years, there has been 2 world wars, pandemics, cold war, recessions and nuclear accidents. The 2020s don’t have the monopoly on things being difficult.

Yep. The history of our world has mostly been a miseryfest.

The 90s were pretty good. But taking the long view… they were the exception, not the rule.

I understand how you feel and dont like all the people having a go at you.

Drama llama

I’ll admit I thought ‘what have we done’ when heavily pregnant this time 2 years ago, but honestly my children are the light of my life and you find a way through, you just do!

You need at least one kid op, so you have someone to send out the bunker to forage for firewood and fight the neighbours for a clean water source.

Bloody hell OP, that's a bit dramatic isn't it?

But we had a conversation last night saying that there is no way we could bring a child into this world

So don't.

However I do think YABU.

@ghostyslovesheets

I managed quiet happily as a child to live through the 70's (inflation, oil shortages, blackouts) and 80's (cold war, Threads, Thatcher, unemployment) - yab a bit ott - life always finds a way - my childhood was very poor but filled with lovely moments of joy thanks to my mum

Same period that we had our children, I would add the very real threats of terrorist attack based on Northern Ireland, we had to check our car every morning. Living with the military in Germany we had in the drawer the plans for the evacuation of families in the event of an attack. Young people today do seem to want their lives to be Instagram perfect and it never will be. There's never 'the right time' to have children, you do what everyone else does, bugger along as best you can.

And steer away from attachment parenting , you need them to be hard as fuck. Try the Spartan way , you might get through a few but at least the survivor will have the best genes.

I grew up in the 1970s/80s inflation was all time high, the country was practically bankrupt, the miners strike was on, the Falklands war happened, the threat of a nuclear strike from Russia was very very real, so much so that there were information adverts on TV on what to do in the event of a nuclear bomb going off which scared the crap out of us, power cuts were a regular occurrence so yes you are being unreasonable.

I'm pregnant and yes I have had a 'what am I bringing my child into?' moment but a lot of young people do want to make the world a better place so who knows maybe we're creating a generation that can make a difference.

@HereticFanjo

People expect a lot more now. Having children involves sacrifice regardless of your circumstances.

Maybe people need to look at their expectations then and ask if their lifestyle is one of the reasons they're having financial problems.

"But we had a conversation last night saying that there is no way we could bring a child into this world"
That sounds like a fun evening. Even though there's a war on, I think you can still get vodka so get a couple of Moscow Mules down you, cheer up and get shagging. Condoms optional.

Yes the 90s were amazing. Who knows, maybe good times will return. Either way it's not a reason that decide for or against kids. It's not even something that would be a choice in a war zone.

Alternatively read a bit of the Bible. Would recommend the book of Job and Ecclesiastes.

This doesn't even make any sense. Literally millions of people have happily brought children into the world facing the same pressures over the past few years. The problem is your victim mindset.

Few people can ever afford kids, there’s always a crisis going on. No generation before you ever had it easy with enough money for everything and always some global event hanging over them.

Like many others, i grew up in poverty, real poverty, single parent, domestic abuse, threat of nuclear attacks, then step dad had two jobs to make ends meet, and i’ve barely scratched the surface. Things aren’t any better or worse today, life is hard, different pressures today, but ultimately, make a decision and stand by it, accept it will be tough but very rewarding.

I Wish you luck in your choices.

My Dad was born in Warsaw in 1943. His mum had nearly nothing to eat and then he had 25 years of communism until he left. He said the other day that he has had a good life.

Yes terrible things have happened before, but as a society we’re more conscious of the impact that these things will have on our children, and rightly so. It’s not about just getting on with it and having kids anyway, when you’re fundementally opposed to that from an ethical point of view. Yes you can have a child in theory, but you don’t think that would be fair or morally right so the reality is you can’t have that child.

People are being irresponsible by ignoring the valid issues you’ve raised, it worries me that people selfishly consider having children despite the pain and hardship that may cause for them.

How are you “ Robbed”?!

People in far worse circs in the past had children.

The war (if you mean the one getting press) is in Ukraine, not here. Were you planning to move…?

You're kind of being a dick.