7rd old fucking football

[footballfckers]

I just wrote out a whole post and then accidentally deleted it.

Really pissed off about football for seven-year-olds and really upset. I am not a person who cries but today I cried. I had a cal from a private sports club who run football training once a week. My son who is 7 was having a 3 week taster and they called today to say he isn't good enough abs can't come back. I am so upset for him. He is such a sensitive little boy who just wants to play and learn.

He plays in a small after school club once a week but can't get him into the village football club either. To get in the village club it seems to be either who you know or sending a WhatsApp at the right moment. My husband has offered to do the Coaching qualifications and now I am thinking maybe we need to make a 'donation'.

He was offered a space in November but was having eye surgery so I asked if he could come in Jan. Tbey said yes and then ghosted me in January.

I don't want to be 'that' parent but my 7yr old needs someone to speak for him and sort these things out. He just wants to play football with his friends.

It's fucking ridiculous.

Couldn’t agree more with those who say try rugby. Much more inclusive game.
Develops a much more wholesome ethos and generally nicer people I find.

@TheUsualShitshow I would be pleasant and leave the last bit out - it would be an enquiry rather than accusation. But someone needs to fight for the right for young children to play and be included.

I come from a long line of volunteer coaches (not football) who have spent hours over years supporting children and adults who want to learn, have fun and improve. There are a lot of social undercurrents associated with football for 7 year old boys - recognising that you’re not the best / might not be picked for the first team is important in time, but not being supported because you’re not good enough is not ok. From the FA’s website;

Football for Everyone is about making sure everyone has a chance to be involved in football, regardless of age, gender, gender reassignment, sexual orientation, marital status, race, nationality, ethnic origin, colour, religion or belief, ability or disability.

At my sons club (under 6s) there’s approximately 25 kids that turn up to training. So far there are enough volunteers to run two teams from September when they will play 5 a side in squads of 8. So that’s already 9 disappointed kids. Then like the op there will be later parents who ask to join and get frustrated when told no. I feel sorry for those kids but the reality is it comes down to clubs needing more volunteers. In selecting the kids it would be nice to think that parental contributions in other areas were taken into consideration but I don’t think that’s going to happen and the reality is it will be the volunteers kids and then the strongest players/ those that have been training the most. It’s a harsh reality that in many parts of the country you need to have got in early if you want your kid to play!

Whereabouts are you OP? PM me if you like and I will do what I can to help.

I am youth secretary, registrations officer and club welfare officer for a local football club, we have 17 junior teams and we have no end of children wanting to play, but we just cannot accommodate them all.

The FA rules state that league matches are not competitive until U12. League results cannot be published for U11 and below, if they are then the team responsible for publishing the result can be fined. The teams are split into divisions and the results after each game are fed back to the league, who usually re-jig everything in October, December and February. This is to make sure the teams are playing at about the same ability level. Tournament and trophy competitions are allowed to be competitive and results can be published.

There is a limit to how many children can be signed on and registered with the league for each team - it's double the number per side eg. 5v5 you can have 10 signed on, 7v7 you can have 14 signed on. Most coaches sign on fewer players as they want to give a decent amount of game time per player.

Frankly, holding trials for mini soccer teams is utterly ridiculous and speaks volumes about the coaches' egos more than anything else. Up to and including U11, they should be having as close to equal game time as possible, the focus should be on fun and development, learning how to be a team player and enjoying the social aspect of it all. There are too many teams coached by people who have a "win at all costs" mentality and it is so damaging. No club should be telling a child they aren't good enough to play.

However, when it comes to spaces for new players, they are limited as football is such a popular sport. Almost all grassroots football clubs are run entirely by volunteers.
We get several enquiries a week for new players and we hate to turn people away, but we simply don't have the volunteers, the pitch space or the team spaces available for any more, and we are a decent sized club.

It's a big commitment to volunteer - my DH coaches an U11 side, he has 14 players signed on and another 6 training with him. One night a week for training plus a Saturday morning match. Then there's the admin through the week - messages from parents, the club, the league, the opposition, the ref. Sorting out the kick off time and who can play, which pitch, refs fees. Attending managers meetings. Dealing with new enquiries, organising tournament entry, new player registrations and transfers, finding a kit sponsor, ordering kit, getting to the ground early to set the pitches up (goals, respect barrier, technical areas, corner flags, clearing the pitch of rubbish, sticks, dog shit so it's safe for the players) then packing it all away at the end, making sure your players have equal game time, an equal number of starts - it is never-ending.

If your husband is happy to volunteer to coach a side, then look for a local club with a good ethos that encourages equal game time, player development and fun. A good place to start is the FA Playmaker Course - it's free and online and all prospective coaches have to compete it before they can enrol on the Introduction to Coaching Football course (this combines the old level 1, safeguarding and emergency aid course and is now entirely online - it costs £160 but many clubs will cover the cost).

Sorry for the essay, I'm very passionate about grassroots and youth football

That must be so upsetting when your son so badly wants to play. It may be a case of them not having enough coaches so if your husband is willing it may be worth offering as it is hard to get volunteers to coach. It doesn’t help with the football but do you have a local rugby team? They are generally welcoming and inclusive and as the children get older there’s positions for all speeds, shapes and sizes! They also generally play all the children for equal time e.g half a game each if they have extra numbers (and having extra players is a good thing for fresh legs!). After matches the players of both teams go back to the home teams clubhouse for food so a good time to get to know his team mates esp if he’s changing schools. Good luck with it. 👍

@Okaaaay hoping it doesn't come to that but we shall see.

I am going to take him to to try tbe Rugby. They do 3 week taster sessions as well.

I am going to lodge a complaint with tbe sports club that kicked him out. And to the poster who asked, it wasn't his behaviour. He is wel behaved for everyone other than us! He tries really hard just doesn't have as much experience.

We have found a few other for profit places at we can try as well

@footballfckers hope the rugby experience is positive for you.

Thank god we've never had to deal with this, my son has never been interested in football. I've heard so many stories about horrible clubs, competitive and even abusive parents to volunteer coaches! I must say though, we live in a suburb of a large city and there are opportunities to play at different levels and provide inclusive teams for having fun.

Personally I would have a look at alternative sports - my 8 year old does Tennis, Karate and Bouldering and loves them all. We have a local sports club offering cricket classes in the Summer too. I'd be tempted to try a couple of those instead.

Assistant Beavers leader here - will second what someone said upthread about Beavers: get DC’s name down ASAP the waiting list for our section is huge.
It does seem to be a huge shame that a 7yr old can’t play football because they’re ‘not good enough.’ I didn’t realise it was that competitive at this age. DS hates football but DD (10) plays on a girls team and there is a whole range of abilities.

This is absolutely awful.

Ds joined a bottom of the league club a few years ago when they were scrabbling for players. They were short of subs and got trounced every week. Now they're top of the league and turning people away.

That’s awful. I’d say it’s the coaches who aren’t good enough for your son. If they can’t get an enthusiastic 7 year old to do a few drills and have a kick around then that’s their failure.

My DS ( now 25) enjoyed football as a youngster but we joined him to a local hockey club as I couldn't bear the footy culture or the pushy parents. he really thrived. He only stopped when he joined the army. Football for him stopped being fun as it was far too competitive and far too many parents thinking their child was going to " make it"... 20 odd years on.. ..none of them have .. Beavers...well the person running the one he joined was a complete tw@t so we left. She was full of herself and made me feel crap about bring a FT working mum. Don't waste your time with the clubs fthat say he's nit good enough find something else that nourishes their souls- their childhood goes in a blink of an eye and the stress just isn't worth it. Good luck! x

@footballfckers

He swims and plays a fun cricket session as well. Al his school friends are in the football club and he is about to move schools so I am keen to keep his friendships.

Waiting list for 6+months for beavers as well

Yep re Beavers. They start at 4 - we bumped into DH's old scout leader when DS was 2 and he signed him up then. Unfortunately we didn't add his twin sister to the list (didn't know girls could join back then) and she was devastated that they had no room for her when DS started.

DD did get into a group in another local town, about a year later, and they joined the same pack when moving up to cubs. But definitely if anyone has toddlers, add their names now!

OP - no thoughts about the football but that sounds really awful. I hope you find a solution.

Are you me OP? I have a 7 year old too. Enquired with the village club who have multiple teams for this age group months ago, but just got passed around from manager to manager. DS tried a training session for one of the teams, but wasn't good enough. The manager of that team scouts for and recruits players from other towns and villages (at 7 - it's madness!). The other teams won't take on any extra players, even for training - they very clearly don't want to disrupt the team they have already built, so basically are quite cliquey.

DS has been asking why he can't join, and if he could just go to training instead. Naively I just thought we had to wait until a space became available, but I now see that the club isn't inclusive (whatever they claim on their website), so I have to look for a different club. DS is not overly keen on that, given that he wants to play with kids he knows within his own community.

Get him to your local rugby club.

So glad you’re giving rugby a go. So much more inclusive and therefore teaching better values. I would actively discourage joining a football team with a sensitive child, so many horror stories of kits being asked to leave, I mean wtf!
Most rugby clubs have a great family feel and kids of all abilities, shapes and sizes have a place.

I’m a Brit in the US and it’s exactly the same, but for a different reason: everyone is gunning for their kid to get a sports scholarship to an excellent college, so they hothouse their kids from a young age.

My two boys are 8 and 10 and play for a team run by Brazilian guys. They’re both capable players, but I have zero expectation that they’ll play D1 football in college. I just want them to make friends, cooperate with others and stay fit. The other parents are very nice, but I know I’m in the minority with my it’s-just-for-fun outlook.

Trying to get into after school activities is the exact reason we will be moving back to my country of origin when our children are school aged.

Sport was a major part of my life growing up, and I want that for my own children. I'm actively involved with a local sports club, and coach a group of children and my children aren't even guaranteed a space.

I echo everyone suggesting rugby instead. My daughter started playing when she was 4 and the friendships you make on the field and also between the parents on the touchline are long lasting.

We had a boy make the move from football to rugby in year 4 or 5 and in his first match he made a slight mistake with passing. He stopped dead and expected his team mates and the parents to shout at him - it didn't happen because in rugby the aim is for the kids to enjoy playing not to win. In fact there are quite prescriptive regulations about age grade rugby www.englandrugby.comdxdam/83/8375ce67-40ff-4b70-a28f-fbbae518009a/AGR-CoP-Aug2019-final.pdf that all clubs have to adhere to.

In rugby, all matches are informal up to at least U13 and coaches will make decisions about format, rules that might need tweaking. There will often be a few matches for the same age groups and at that age refs will either be a coach, an older colts player or sometimes a dad who still runs out for the 3rds occasionally. There is no official referee needed until U13 so if you have 42 kids in your age group and the opposition have 18 then arrange 3 games with 10 players a side. How many on the pitch varies by age group and there is a half game play policy in rugby.

‘I am going to take him to to try tbe Rugby. They do 3 week taster sessions as well. ‘

Rugby is dangerous. I’m a huge rugby fan but there’s no way I’d let my kids do rugby. The injuries will
Come fast and furious if he stick with it past the age of 10
And you do have to take head injuries into consideration.
Cricket is another good team sport…

How disappointing for your son. If your DH would do the football coaches course which is usually only a weekend thing and s bit online he could start up his own football training and your son could go every week plus many other boys who do not meet high standards of other club. I have always found cricket teams more inclusive than football teams. Get son down for Beavers, swimming, karate in the meanwhile. Karate is good if they offer it in your village as each child works towards belts. They get the belts in different colours and certificates as they progress and my foster son finds this very motivating to get a new coloured belt. They don't have to compete for just a few spaces so all kids can succeed. In cricket foster son with additional needs plays for his county and has and England trial coming up in April. I am sure you can get him included in some of sports. If he struggles with team sports try individual sport such as swimming.

This is why my kids don’t play football. Too competitive in the UK and lost the spirit of fun…. We play tennis, rugby and basketball instead and my kids have never been rejected or ignored because they’re not future Ronaldos.

If your husband is taking his coaching certificate then, once qualified, set up your own team. Start looking for sponsors now, look into any grants available and find parents that maybe interested in helping out. I did it and the kids had a brilliant time. You are going to be more sensitive to the player's feelings when picking teams. Do not make winning your motivation, enjoyment must be the motivation. Remember at your son's age, girls can play alongside boys
One last thing, no child should be written off at seven. Your son has had a lucky escape, it's obvious the manager is only interested in winning. A lot of parents, in the future, will be upset as the manager replaces their children for better players. Good luck

Can you try and steer him towards another sport? I have to say I think football is awful for all of the reasons listed here (and old bf used to referee kids games and boy was that an eye opener).

Shame about the waiting list at beavers but try a group a bit further away or ask the District Commissioner which colonies in your county have spaces. We also let kids join if a parent signs up to be an occasional helper as we're so short of help. So if you can offer that then it's worth asking.

Ok I have two tips - near me we have guys who do private coaching for kids, or they might get you in with one or two others for a small group session. Your son will come on leaps and bounds. Ask on a local fb page or Google your area and ‘private football coaching’. Secondly, join the FB page ‘Grassroots Football’ and message them asking for some tips. They champion kids and underdogs who just want to have a go and might even do a post saying ‘little Billy in 7 and just wants to join a team to have fun and develop his skills. He lives near Bottomford* in Leicestershire. Any teams looking for a great lad like Billy let us know!’

*bottomford is definitely made up for example purposes please forgive me