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Original poster

7rd old fucking football

210 replies

footballfckers · 21/03/2022 11:50

I just wrote out a whole post and then accidentally deleted it.

Really pissed off about football for seven-year-olds and really upset. I am not a person who cries but today I cried. I had a cal from a private sports club who run football training once a week. My son who is 7 was having a 3 week taster and they called today to say he isn't good enough abs can't come back. I am so upset for him. He is such a sensitive little boy who just wants to play and learn.

He plays in a small after school club once a week but can't get him into the village football club either. To get in the village club it seems to be either who you know or sending a WhatsApp at the right moment. My husband has offered to do the Coaching qualifications and now I am thinking maybe we need to make a 'donation'.

He was offered a space in November but was having eye surgery so I asked if he could come in Jan. Tbey said yes and then ghosted me in January.

I don't want to be 'that' parent but my 7yr old needs someone to speak for him and sort these things out. He just wants to play football with his friends.

It's fucking ridiculous.

OP posts:
Original poster
footballfckers · 21/03/2022 13:04

@sparepantsandtoothbrush we have tried all the towns in the area and all are full.

OP posts:
AlicesCheshireCat · 21/03/2022 13:07

How awful for your ds, but I think you'll find it very hard right about now getting him onto a team as i know with the one my DS's play with they won't take on any new players until the start of the next season, as it generally puts the team back not having a player who is upto league standard. So it may be worth trying out for teams in July-August as that's when most teams will take on new players.

In the meantime it could be worth just let him go to a few sessions in somewhere like ballers if you have one of those near you, they will help get his skills up ready for the next season.

IKnowYouDontTurnTheLightOn · 21/03/2022 13:07

Can you find a rugby club instead?? My boys play rugby and love it. Far fewer arseholes in rugby in our experience Grin.

Too many kids (and far too many parents) take football too seriously. They all think they’re going to be the next Salah Hmm.

greyinganddecaying · 21/03/2022 13:07

I agree OP, it's ridiculous. We are in a similar boat - we've been advised by one physio to get DS into football to improve his motor skills, but in reality it's so competitive it's doing more harm than good.

OwlinaTree · 21/03/2022 13:10

I'd second rugby if it's an option. There's a place for everyone in rugby.

Beamur · 21/03/2022 13:10

too many children not enough volunteers to run things

This in spades. I was talking to a friend who is a County Commissioner for Guides. There's huge demand but they've closed 10 units this year due to lack of adult volunteers. Several are hanging on by the skin of their teeth for the same reason.

OneShotOneKill · 21/03/2022 13:12

Take him to your local rugby club where they’ll be more than welcome. The FA football set up for young kids in this country is terrible, it’s all geared towards leagues, winning and how strong your team can be. Streamed from day one to A/B/C teams and no though about kids having fun and enjoying themselves.

Mini and junior rugby will teach teamwork, inclusivity and respect.

blobby10 · 21/03/2022 13:16

My eldest was desperate to play football with his friends - we tried so hard to support him and he went to half a dozen training sessions. The day that one child threw him to the ground because he kicked the ball the wrong way and the coach (horrible child's dad) shrugged and said 'thats what you get for doing it wrong' was the last day any of mine played football except at school. We headed to the local rugby club and all three had a brilliant time there - my daughter now plays elite level rugby!.

If I remember correctly, the RFU have recently changed the rules for mini and junior rugby and the clubs have to give equal game time to every player. There's no such things as A and B teams based on ability.

ouch321 · 21/03/2022 13:22

Why don't you set up and run a casual football club...?

budgiegirl · 21/03/2022 13:26

What is most frustrating is that we don't know he doesn't have the skill to play as he can't get the opportunity to play anywhere. If he can't train, he can't improve. Just ping round in circles really

It's very frustrating, but if there aren't enough places, there aren't enough places. It's good that your DH has offered to do his coaching qualifications, if they can get one or two more parents on board, perhaps they could start up a second team. However, it may also be access to facilities, pitches etc that prevents this. Make sure you are still on the waiting list if you can - hopefully a place will come up again eventually.

It's annoying though that the private club will only take on kids who are 'good enough' - unless it's a development squad of some sort?

extractorfactor · 21/03/2022 13:26

Re-football were the first few sessions try-outs? Was it made clear there were limited places and only the 'best' would get chosen? To me a 'taster session' is one session to see if dc likes it. I've not known of three taster sessions, but admittedly don't know much about football.
Re Beavers you seem very putout about having to wait, but I volunteer with Brownies, we have far more children and very few volunteers. waiting lists were around 6 months pre-covid, much longer now as we have fewer units running, due to volunteers leaving. With our Brownie unit, if you are willing to volunteer you will be bumped up the waiting list (don't know if Beavers operate in a similar way).
I think all you can do is keep messaging the relevant people/ club, every few weeks and hopefully something will come up.
Hope your little lads eye surgery went well, it does seem really rubbish he lost his place because of something beyond his control, and I can understand why you feel peeved about that Thanks.

arethereanyleftatall · 21/03/2022 13:32

So. Basically, one of the clubs was dependant on ability, which is fine and absolutely right imo, and the other club, which is completely inclusive, and sounds volunteer led, is full.
This is just life isn't it? Sometimes things are full.
Set up another volunteer led coaching club. And remember to still respond to the 900th person asking for a space when you're already full, otherwise you're 'ghosting' them.

fedup2017 · 21/03/2022 13:32

In my experience ( 4 boys from 8 to 18) you need to find the right club. They all play and at various ages have ranged from terrible to star player however you really need to steer clear of those teams where they only take really good players and go for those where they focus on teamwork and everyone gets a go. You may well find at times you are on the end of a double digit loss but overall its a much better experience. Have a look at teams lower in the leagues ( have a look on your local fa league website) and avoid the teams which are at the top of the first division.
At 7 they shouldnt be selecting a squad on ability..... really sad

nearlyspringyay · 21/03/2022 13:34

Team sports are competitive by nature particularly when you are looking at out of school clubs.

If you wanted to you could set up a fun kick about session but who would you play against when they're in leagues? Who will navigate DBS, insurance, paying for facilities etc.

Velvian · 21/03/2022 13:45

My DD is 11 in the last year of primary school and having this problem. She has been resilient, but it is finally starting to get her down.

I feel for you, op. Kids that are crap at sport need to play sport too. They need the experiences that come with team sports, perhaps more than those that excel.

DD has some minor learning and physical difficulties, which are mostly undiagnosed, due to lack of services in that area too.

Physical activity needs to be open to all children.

MyNameIsAngelicaSchuyler · 21/03/2022 13:45

It’s all volunteer led. Set up your own.

TheUsualShitshow · 21/03/2022 13:55

Football can be really tough. Are there any Box Soccer sessions or similar near you? These can be really good for kids to just work on their skills, and not be part of a league or anything.

TheUsualShitshow · 21/03/2022 13:58

Also, I'd just add - these clubs are run by volunteers, for absolutely nothing. I don't think it's fair to hype it all up and talk of 'ghosting' etc.

For the good teams, these guys probably get a few dozen messages from parents a week, if they don't have space it's a real commitment for them to respond to each and every one saying thanks but no thanks.

Lucyccfc68 · 21/03/2022 14:08

No club should be running any kind of trials or choosing kids based on ability under the age of 12. Unless they are a proper professional academy - not a fake academy who charge you a fortune and are not associated with any professional football club.

There are no league tables or results published for U11 and below. The ethos is based on fun. Some clubs are crap and completely forget this. These are the kind of clubs you definitely don’t want to send your child to. They won’t be treated well and where you get overly competitive coaches, the parents tend to be the same, which filters down to the kids. These are the kind of clubs and teams that I refuse to let my son referee (they go on my blacklist).

Coaches with a crap attitude, means parents and kids with the same mentality. The types of clubs that will happily shout at and abuse a young referee.

TinHatters · 21/03/2022 14:16

Can you look further afield? You don't have to go to the nearest clubs.
My children do swimming at the 3rd nearest pool as there was a hugeee waiting list and 2 nearest. Sake for scouts.
They don't have to go to the nearest one

MrsAvocet · 21/03/2022 14:18

I'm sorry that you've had a bad experience and that your son's been upset, but there's often another side to these things.
I coach a sport - not football, so it's not directly comparable but I bet at least some of the issues are similar.
Numbers are restricted due to both space and the coach:participant ratios set by our national body. If we go over ratio we are not insured which is a risk we just can't take. As volunteers, everyone involved in our club puts in a lot of time and energy but we are not willing to put ourselves at risk of becoming personally liable if a child was hurt and we weren't insured. So "just one more" might not make that much difference to what happens in a session but we have to stick to the rules.
We could always do with more helpers, but even that isn't the whole story as there are rules about the size of each group , and the physical separation required between groups. So even if another coach might in theory mean you could take more kids, there still has to be space for another group and that's simply not always possible.
It can be a thankless task. Most of our parents are nice enough but we do get the odd occasion where people moan that an email wasn't answered the same day, or kick off when their child is upset because they had to go in a group without their best friend because their coach is ill and we've rearranged everything in an attempt not to have to cancel that group, and so on. We have about 80 kids on the books and most of them have 2 parents. Last time we asked for a new volunteer we got one offer.
We're not perfect but we are doing our best, as are the vast majority of people I know who run extracurricular activities on a voluntary basis. I never like to turn any child away but unfortunately sometimes it just cant be avoided.

Befrazzled · 21/03/2022 14:21

There will be a local grassroots football FB page, post a message stating your sons age, area you live and distance you would travel.
I’ve never seen a post on my FB page go unanswered

m00rfarm · 21/03/2022 14:21

We had a similar problem w ith football clubs - coaches son and friends picked for teams first (and why not - they are putting in the hours so they need to get something out of it). However, my son discovered hockey - and whilst he NEVER put in the hours of practice on his own that he did with football, he easily was good enough to go for county hockey trials and play at a decent level all through school. Football is still his first love, but he has rediscovered tennis, and all the coaching sessions he had as a small child clearly paid off as he is a really good player. Why not try something different. Tennis clubs run loads of sessions for kids and are not expensive - may be give that a go?

gogohm · 21/03/2022 14:22

Is it fun training or a team? If training then yanbu if it's a team then they will be assessing if they meet the criteria for the squad. Dd did football club at first, no try out but had to get picked for the squad

waterrat · 21/03/2022 14:25

Hi op my 9 year old plays football and my husband coaches and we absolutely hate the attitude you describe.

There will be more friendly child focused coaches and teams near you if you call around I hope.

It's disgusting and it's all about what adults want yo get out if it not how the children can love playing and have fun.

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