7rd old fucking football

[footballfckers]

I just wrote out a whole post and then accidentally deleted it.

Really pissed off about football for seven-year-olds and really upset. I am not a person who cries but today I cried. I had a cal from a private sports club who run football training once a week. My son who is 7 was having a 3 week taster and they called today to say he isn't good enough abs can't come back. I am so upset for him. He is such a sensitive little boy who just wants to play and learn.

He plays in a small after school club once a week but can't get him into the village football club either. To get in the village club it seems to be either who you know or sending a WhatsApp at the right moment. My husband has offered to do the Coaching qualifications and now I am thinking maybe we need to make a 'donation'.

He was offered a space in November but was having eye surgery so I asked if he could come in Jan. Tbey said yes and then ghosted me in January.

I don't want to be 'that' parent but my 7yr old needs someone to speak for him and sort these things out. He just wants to play football with his friends.

It's fucking ridiculous.

That's a real shame. My DH coaches my sons football team (under 11) and they don't stream based on ability. A lot of clubs do though, especially as they get older. In honesty most 7 year olds are shit at football unless they have a natural talent for it. If you can't find a team that doesn't stream you could pay for some 1-1 coaching to get him up to speed, finances permitting.

Where we live in the North east, most kids that play football start from 3/4. Eventually they join clubs and enter league playing. My ds is 10 and he had to do a trial, he's now part of a 11 squad and coming to the end of his first season. They rely on sponsors and subs. Most of his team have been playing from a young age and they are made up of children from all over Northumberland specially picked. He was lucky to get in.

To try and see this as a positive - football at clubs, is a competitive sport. But, he can play with his friends for fun.

As a primary teacher though, I can tell you - even when children are playing for ‘fun’ they will judge and select their teams (even at break time when there’s no trophy!). There’s no avoiding it - the ones who are best at football get to be on the team because they want to win. That’s the point of the game.

Some kids/families take these teams very seriously and want to compete at age 7, so your DS is competing for a place on the team.

Sorry OP - it’s the reality of life.

@CorsicaDreaming Unfortunately that is the reality of most football teams, even those as young as 7 have to deal with rejection.
OP has had some great advice on how to get her ds signed up to a team if that's what they both want, but she also needs to understand it is a lot of hard work and dedication especially if it is something a child wants to do and succeed at.
Football is terribly competitive, so if it's just that her ds wants to have a kick about and learn some skills being on a team isn't right for him, it takes over your weekends, as there is usually training on Saturdays games on sundays every week from September until April-May, on more than one occasion I've wanted to take my DSs out as they have been upset when their team have lost 15-0 but they wanted to stick it out and are now top of the under 11s league and loving it.

They have also been going to football training since they were toddlers, so their skills were up to standards when joining an under 6 team.

Football is a game I played with my mates at school and with the neighbours after school. And that normal kids will play with other normal kids on whatever bit of grass or concrete or sand they will happen to find, as long as they have something to kick around, and something to mark the goals.

The whole professional competitive angle is absolutely unnecessary and a complete kill joy. People with that kind of mindset are brainwashed, and your kid will be better off not associating with them.
If he wants to hone his skills and be part of a team, he can always learn an instrument and join an orchestra... It's not like football is the only skill worth learning, and the only opportunity to meet other people.

Feel your pain. To get into the cricket club in our village you must have played for the team last year. Basically you have to be born in the club house.

Our kids go to the local rugby club. Their policy is if you turn up, you'll get a game. Which works well - by the time it gets a bit more competitive the kids that aren't that able have usually started to drop out. But until then you'll get a game. Great example is a girl who turned up for the first time one Sunday in January and went straight into a game vs the local opposition the weekend after.

For Beavers, Scouts, or Guiding, becoming a leader means your child is automatically included. I know mums who have done this, flying up when their child does. It’s probably harder now with safeguarding and more extensive training,but worth considering.

Theres a huge problem getting grass roots kids coaches and scout leaders in most areas. Loads quit during lockdown.

Some parents are frankly horrendous to youth leaders.
We deliberately didn't let dc join local football club as it's super competitive even among the parents and so many fallings out. We focused on other sports hockey, rugby, swimming, bmx.

Our kids go to the local rugby club. Their policy is if you turn up, you'll get a game. Which works well - by the time it gets a bit more competitive the kids that aren't that able have usually started to drop out. But until then you'll get a game. Great example is a girl who turned up for the first time one Sunday in January and went straight into a game vs the local opposition the weekend after

That’s great, but surely on works if the club is under subscribed / has no limit on numbers?

When DH was a football coach , there were limits as to how many kids he could take to a match. So it certainly couldn’t be as simple as ‘turn up and you’ll get a game’

@Budgiegirlbob that's a good point. As far as I know each year group has at least two coaches, usually father's of kids on that year group but the club adds as required plus players from the colt or second team also come out to help with training. We currently have 3 coaches, 3 first aiders and 22 kids in the year group and we're a small club.

@Budgiegirlbob oh and the number of kids that can be taken to a game doesn't appear to be limited. November we were at home to a team who turned up with 42 girls and boys while we 13. So they had a few games against each other and against us. It helps in that it's not about the score, it's about enjoying the game and learning the rules

I had no idea this was a thing. My son asked to join a soccer team recently. I looked at the 2 closest ones, filled in a form, paid 90 quid for the year and that was it. I heard they do stream from age 10 or so, but that's so they can be matched up appropriately with opposition teams. A teams play A teams, B teams play B teams. Nobody is ever kicked out! How harsh. I really hope you can find a team for him. It's a simple pleasure he deserves to enjoy.

[quote TwinkleToesStrikesAgain]@Budgiegirlbob oh and the number of kids that can be taken to a game doesn't appear to be limited. November we were at home to a team who turned up with 42 girls and boys while we 13. So they had a few games against each other and against us. It helps in that it's not about the score, it's about enjoying the game and learning the rules[/quote]
42 children?!? Putting on extra games would require the space and referees to do so. That's unachievable for most. Ordinarily, bringing 4 times as many children as needed would mean they would each get ten minutes pitch time. The parents would be up in arms!

It is fun f-ing ridiculous and something that seems to be a big issue in grassroots football - and I say that as a football coach. My son was also written off around that age and it put him off football - a cheap, or free, affordable accessible sport -
For years. He’s now 12, plays on school team and loves it but we can’t get him an outside team because he’s too ‘behind’ according the the dad coaches - and they are all dads, these kids aren’t going pro- to join in.
My other kid played since 6 and was lucky enough to stay with the same team this whole time.
Formme
It’s the dads who are the issue - living vicariously through their kids and putting huge pressure on them for what should be a fun easy sport.
I can’t think of another sport that doesn’t have kids join at all ages - if you want to do tennis or cricket or netball there’s always beginners or development teams and clubs to join.

I was also going to suggest rugby or hockey. I have 2 boys and neither like football, it's hard because there is such a big culture around it in this country. So inevitably, I feel they have missed out socially at times. But my eldest ds rugby club were amazing, very inclusive and great for fitness levels.
My youngest ds prefers hockey and I've always found those clubs inclusive too, I think all this gets better at secondary school, where the default at school breaktimes for boys isn't just playing football!

I really don't understand how rugby is managing to put on games for an unlimited amount of children, varying from week to week.

U7 football is 5 a side. The most we can bring is 10 and even that gets silly as they would get so little game time in a 40min match.

Is there also unlimited space and pitches to play on?

Turning up and 'getting a game' would mean taking time away from another child.

In minis rugby they don’t play on a whole pitch or need goals - they play on a section of pitch marked out with cones so it’s much easier to have a few games running consecutively with their own coaches refereeing- they generally don’t have ‘proper’ referrees like football here until they’re in the under15s.

My son played both but stopped football in early high school. I really didn’t like the football ethos from a lot of clubs. What seems to happen is they run 2 teams per age group until they move from 7 a side to 9 a side then chuck out all the weaker players to form 1 9 a side team. When they move up to 11s they then go poaching the best players away from weaker teams leaving them weaker still.

I think you need to look for a club that is more about the taking part regardless of abilities.
You may be looking at clubs that nurture and hope to produce the next superstar. Unfortunately not everyone has the ability and it must be hard to hear but there are other options.

The other thing with Rugby is that the teams will share players if necessary... DD went to a mini tournament recently with her club and two others. Between the three clubs they had enough for four teams. All mixed up. They all got a chance to play and improve their skills.

Thanks for all your comments. We will look at Rugby as well. The team is a bit further away but it could still work. Was keen for him to be in tbe village football team as he is moving schools and I want to try and maintain his friendships. This is a very outing post I think and my situation would likely be recognised by any of the mums in my kid's class! But hey ho

Another vote for rugby.

If a club is lucky enough to have good numbers at a particular age group, then unlimited rolling substitutions are not just "allowed" but expected. And if the other teams don't have enough players, then they mix up the teams. It's all about getting playing time. There aren't any leagues at the primary school age groups (as far as I am aware, none of the Home Nations have leagues at this age group).

The Junior Section of our rugby club has just told a another local club that we won't go to their Minis Festival (P1-P7 - equivalent of up to U12) as they said we were only to take 10 Micros (P1-P3, U5-U7) - out of our squad of c25. Our attitude is "we all go". (Don't worry - the kids are still getting to play as we've arranged a fixture with another local club )

In terms of different abilities, ds was (and is ) extremely talented (he's now 21 so no longer playing youth rugby ) but rugby is a whole team sport. All the kids get encouraged.

the number of kids that can be taken to a game doesn't appear to be limited. November we were at home to a team who turned up with 42 girls and boys while we 13

That sounds totally impractical in most circumstances - there were 2 coaches per year where my DH was a coach - they certainly couldn't have taken 42 kids to a game, expect them all to sit on the sideline, quietly waiting for their turn. It would be a safeguarding nightmare! Game were generally played in public areas, so there would be too much risk of children wandering off the the park etc. Kids football pitches are at a premium in my area, so any marked out pitch would be being used, so no spare areas to run extra games.

Also, if you took a child to a game, the rules stated that they had to play a minimum of 20mins , to ensure they weren't sidelined completely, so this automatically limited how many you could take.

The other thing with Rugby is that the teams will share players if necessary

This also happens in football, it's not exclusive to rugby. My kids team often used to 'lend' players to other teams if they were short on players one week, so that the game could go ahead, even at older age groups where it becomes very competitive.

When I read these threads I always think there is a gap in the market for someone to make money out of running football clubs all over the place.

My DD goes to two clubs (primary aged). Neither are run by volunteers, neither super competitive, they play matches against each other, no serious games but lots of fun training. The coaches must be making enough money out of it to do it, so surely this could be replicated everywhere. They run sessions Saturday, Sunday and some nights after school so there is lots of space for kids to get in one of the days. One is run by an ex premier league footballer, so they are getting decent coaching. I realise not everywhere have ex premier league coaches, but the other one she goes to is staff by some men in their early twenties with coaching qualifications.

Have you looked into martial arts classes, super inclusive in my experience and all about boosting confidence, coordination, fitness etc.

Also as a volunteer myself I have to say all the problems with spaces would vanish if parents bothered to step up, help out and actually contribute 😬 I'm afraid that's the truth.