7rd old fucking football

[footballfckers]

I just wrote out a whole post and then accidentally deleted it.

Really pissed off about football for seven-year-olds and really upset. I am not a person who cries but today I cried. I had a cal from a private sports club who run football training once a week. My son who is 7 was having a 3 week taster and they called today to say he isn't good enough abs can't come back. I am so upset for him. He is such a sensitive little boy who just wants to play and learn.

He plays in a small after school club once a week but can't get him into the village football club either. To get in the village club it seems to be either who you know or sending a WhatsApp at the right moment. My husband has offered to do the Coaching qualifications and now I am thinking maybe we need to make a 'donation'.

He was offered a space in November but was having eye surgery so I asked if he could come in Jan. Tbey said yes and then ghosted me in January.

I don't want to be 'that' parent but my 7yr old needs someone to speak for him and sort these things out. He just wants to play football with his friends.

It's fucking ridiculous.

Where are you (ish) I can recommend a few options for fun football in the east mids

Our experience of children’s football was awful and I honestly wish we hadn’t bothered. Ds went to training every Saturday morning and was then ‘selected’ for a team through that. The other boys of his age bracket were also put in the team. At the end of the season, ds and one other Boy were ditched as they weren’t good enough and the team started advertising for new players. They would have been year 4, so 9 years old. Ds was devastated and it took a long time for his confidence to recover. We couldn’t find anywhere for him to go to train for fun. All the training groups had gone to teams, matches And leagues because they were that bit older and he couldn’t face the disappointment of that again.

It definitely gets more competitive as they get older but 7 years old?!?!

DS2 was in a very good team until the age of 11 when it got too pressured and all the enjoyment disappeared. Every week the boys would attend training then we’d wait to receive an email informing us whether DS2 had been chosen for the match that weekend. It was crazy.

DD aged 13 is currently in a top level football team where she has made some lovely friends. However, she will have to trial to stay for next season and her current team will be split into single age teams so any of the friendship groups will be split up.

For me, as long as she enjoys it and plays with a smile on her face then we’ll continue.

Take the opportunity of him moving schools to get him to try other sports. He can still play or learn tricks from YouTube but football doesn't have to be the main sport. I know you want to preserve his friendships but at that age they will wither because they are too dependent on parents making arrangements.

Cricket and hockey as team sports in my experience with DS have been far more open to all comers. DS joined a hockey club at 11 after he had played one term at school. Tennis has also given him a great set of friends.

*Hi op my 9 year old plays football and my husband coaches and we absolutely hate the attitude you describe.

There will be more friendly child focused coaches and teams near you if you call around I hope.

It's disgusting and it's all about what adults want yo get out if it not how the children can love playing and have fun*

This is probably true for the private club that rejected the OP's DS, but it could just be that the volunteer-led clubs are full. There's no doubt a limit as to how many children a squad can take on, for safety reasons. This was certainly the case when my DH was a kids footie coach. He had to run a waiting list, as he couldn't take on more than 16 children at any one time.

I think moorfarm has made a very good suggestion re hockey. It's not my sport, but both my boys have played and it's certainly very inclusive in our area. Neither of mine ever showed any interest in football but I get the impression that because so many children want to play it's very oversubscribed and selection processes are applied from a young age. If you go for a less popular sport you don't get quite the same pressure. One of my boys proved to be pretty good at hockey, the other not, but he still enjoyed the social aspect and exercise .They were both equally welcome in their club and non sporty son always got to play in the matches if he wanted to but wasn't pressured if he didn't. It's a good option because it's not super popular like football but not so niche that you have to travel 300 miles to find a club, and our national teams are pretty successful so there are good role models and exciting matches to follow. The season is all but over now but I'd definitely suggest looking for a local club and giving it a try in the Autumn.

Trying on Community Facebook is a good suggestion someone might know of one with places. Private schools tend to run sports camps in holiday a open to all.
Beamur yes my experience is Guiding. Covid had vastly reduced volunteers. It was an easy point for people wanting to give up.
Safeguarding, First aid requirements are onerous and natural renewal cycle has been disrupted - I had to do an all Sunday first aid course and a 3 hour evening safeguarding course all in last few months as they were due - not easy on top of full time job, very hard if you have small children too.
I’ve been 😳 at some of the emails and expectations of Brownies parents. I wonder if the usual etiquette has been lost - in the past it was accepted we were volunteers and between the room rent and insurance we had about 50p a week for crafts so being expected to bring stuff and/or volunteer is expected but that seems to have disappeared in the parents of new 7 yr olds. Not saying you are like that Op but there’s no way I’d be running a volunteer group for 7 year olds.

That's a shame OP, I think it's just your luck (or lack of it) depending where you live. DS1, also 7, plays for a local team but they have about 30 kids for his year group so they've entered 4 teams in the league which should let them all get a game, or if not, the coaches speak to the parents involved and let them know their child won't get a game but they're still welcome to train twice a week and pay lower subs. That generally doesn't happen as there's always a few that can't make each game so everyone gets a turn.

It might be that the clubs haven't thought of offering training to all and games for their "better" players if they're competitive, could be a suggestion?

Last year DS played "fun 4s" so all teams were mixed ability but now they've moved to 5 a side they have A team, B team, and 2 development teams. The kids don't know which one is which officially as they're all called colours.

This is how grassroots football is. You find a team and they all grow up together. It’s nothing new. There are scouts at games and tournaments and some teams will cherry pick the best players, before they are then picked off by the academies.
Re. Beavers etc, why not set up your own colony? Too many people complain about availability of activities, or lack of, but won’t volunteer their own time.

Most football teams look for new players to join during the off season in the summer, in preparation for the new season start in late August/ September, so get back to them then. You could also try looking for local football skills/camps during school holidays or ones which run as an after school club.

This may also help
www.thefa.com/play-football

Don't get this shit at rugby here🏉🏉. Loath sports that do that to kids!

In some areas social football is in schools. Out of school is when the local football teams start scouting and so players need to be good or they’ll stop scouting. You need to stick with the team, attend all the training / warm up sessions, and work your way up. You don’t need to have a place on the team to get the social benefits if you just stick with it.

You could also looking for kids kickabout/skills sessions run by any of the bigger league clubs near you. Normally advertised on their websites.

@Labracadabradoodle isn't this part of the problem though ? Why do football teams for 7 year olds care so much about 'off seasons and leagues? If any child approaches my boys' rugby team at any time, they can join. They don't get all stressed about teams and leagues and who's good and who's not - they just play. I think kids' football has lost it's way and it's such a shame. At that age they should just be playing for fun and not having dads on the touchline screaming abuse at their own and other people's kids because they're 'not good enough'.

That's soo sad, sport should be for everyone. Hope you find another club

There is only a few weeks left of the season, hope you can find somewhere before September.

My DH coaches my son's u7 team.

When it started all the kids were just playing together in one big group, then they asked some parents to volunteer and they split them into 4 team according to ability. Some didn't want to be in teams and left. The league goes from A-G, with G being the lowest ability, so room for everyone!

It's difficult because you need the children to be of a similar ability or it just doesn't work. If one child isn't as good as the rest of the team it's very noticeable and frustrating all round.

There's only 8 children on my DS's team, so the spaces are very limited. If you're not there at the beginning, or a really good player, then the chances are you will struggle to find a team.

But ultimately if you want your child on a football team and the club doesn't have any spaces available, then offering to start and manage a new team is the way to go.

My DS loves his team, they are the best of friends and it's been a fantastic experience for him, but the team wouldn't exist if DH didn't offer to run it.

@BeautifulDragon how does rugby get around the different abilities then? My eldest son is an exceptional rugby player, my youngest not so much. They still both are accepted and encouraged on the rugby field equally. I think it teaches so much about tolerance and acceptance if they play with different ability kids. I'm afraid as a teacher I can usually spot the kids who play on an outside football team a mile off, and it's rarely for their sportsmanship .

I am having problems with football for 7 year old DS too. He plays in what was meant to be a friendly, casual team, but as the boys improve it is becoming more competitive. The coach is great and everyone gets to play but even at the age of 7 it is perfectly clear DS is not great, and a hierarchy is emerging between the boys who are good and the ones who are not. Since I don't give a shit about football I would prefer him to give it a miss and focus on athletics, which he is good at, but he wants to stick with football.

I understand the competitive nature is what makes it exciting, but it bothers me how young the line is drawn and less able players squeezed out.

[quote IKnowYouDontTurnTheLightOn]@BeautifulDragon how does rugby get around the different abilities then? My eldest son is an exceptional rugby player, my youngest not so much. They still both are accepted and encouraged on the rugby field equally. I think it teaches so much about tolerance and acceptance if they play with different ability kids. I'm afraid as a teacher I can usually spot the kids who play on an outside football team a mile off, and it's rarely for their sportsmanship .[/quote]
I have no idea about rugby, so I can't answer.

But you can't really have an open door 'everyone come and play' policy, when it's a 5-a-side game. They can't all play, because there isn't enough space.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you want more teams then more parents need to volunteer to run them.

There is no value to anyone in players of different abilities being on the same team. Even at 7, they know. The less able kids don't get passed to, the more able kids get frustrated and hog the ball. It benefits no one. For sure, there should be a team for all types, but they're generally volunteer led, so unless you're doing the volunteering, you can't really complain.
I think on this thread you can really tell which people don't volunteer for anything and have no real understanding of it at all.

Thanks for all the suggestions. They have two teams already abs my husband has offered to lead a third and apparently there are enough children . I am just frustrated at tbe lack of transparency in the process and the wishybwashy response from the current coaches on whether we can even come to training.

Haha! Nope - you couldn't be more wrong. I've volunteered to help at every activity my children belong to, because it's only fair that I help out. I've taught kids sport for decades, including coaching hockey, so I do know a little bit about it. Football seems to be the exception in ensuring they make kids feel shit about their abilities from a very young age. It really doesn't need to be that way but it's not going to change which is why I was never prepared to get involved with football. I've never had one word of abuse from parents in the other teams I've helped out in, but the horror stories I've heard and witnessed from football parents was enough to put me off for life.

@footballfckers I really would encourage your DS to give rugby a go and see if he likes it .