To think this isn't normal re DS 12

[Deereemer]

Ds got a tech ban this weekend due to unacceptable behaviour yesterday. The bam is for 3 weeks as things have been getting out of hand with how he has been, increasingly rude, shouty, downright aggressive at times.

He is in his bed crying and i mean wailing because he will miss the new fortnight update. When he stops crying he just stares at the wall and doesn't do anything at. All.

I am worried this is a sign of gaming addiction or depression, i don't know.

Any advice welcomed

Deereemer I'd be fuming at a 12 year old using language like that too. Incredibly rude and disrespectful.

Hold your guns, you'll see benefits in the long run.

It’s the sign of a pissed off 12 year old. Totally ignore him, he’ll be absolutely fine.

You’re doing absolutely the right thing!!

@Deereemer

He told me 'get the fuck out of his room'

Incredible that hes getting it back in 3 werks.

Feeding children addictive games makes parenting easier though doesn't it.

Ah, I see, it’s all bullshit.

3 weeks? Good grief. YABVU.

What's this about addiction? equivalent to a ban of 3 weeks TV when I was that ages because I was addicted to grange hill? Crazy and totally agree it's about social life.

I would back track and sharpish.

You are going to have three weeks of hell. That's far too long a punishment. Why not get him to do something which benefits you?

This might actually be useful for you to read OP and anyone else who has younger children are on fortnite:

childmind.org/article/parents-guide-dealing-fortnite/

@Deereemer

He told me 'get the fuck out of his room'

Incredible that hes getting it back in 3 werks.

Feeding children addictive games makes parenting easier though doesn't it.

Agreed.

3 weeks is brutal but I also think 12 is too young to be playing Fortnite, and yes, I know its rating is 12.

But if all his mates are playing it and you have let him get addicted to it - you are being completely ott to ban for 3 weeks.

I think there are better ways of dealing with his rudeness than the approach you're taking.

Seriously is that all he did. I feel sorry for your son. No right to privacy for him, just draconian punishments designed to make him a social outcast.

allow the update.continue the ban.

@OfstedOffred

Deereemer I'd be fuming at a 12 year old using language like that too. Incredibly rude and disrespectful.

Hold your guns, you'll see benefits in the long run.

Completely agree. He needs to know now that you follow through with what you say. It's likely to get worse before it gets better, so worth following through on this one.

@Zwellers

Seriously is that all he did. I feel sorry for your son. No right to privacy for him, just draconian punishments designed to make him a social outcast.

Yes, based on the easy route his parents took for some peace and quiet.

It sounds like this is basically his life. Be supportive and caring, whatever you can op. Be there for him whilst standing firm and see what else you can involve him in.

OP I’m a mum of a 15 year old boy, so I know how tough things can be sometimes. 3 weeks is far too long, I think removing his privileges for maybe 48 hours and before giving him back his gaming station have a conversation with him regarding his behaviour.

I mean if we accidentally are rude or shout at a child or partner, we don’t get punished.

If a woman came on here and said her partner was rude, shouty and aggressive, she'd get a resounding 'LTB'.

This is how rude, shouty and aggressive men are made, by letting rude, shouty and aggressive boys think they can behave like that with no consequences.

I'm going to go against the grain and saying you're doing the right thing. Fortnite is notoriously addictive and it's a sudden kill game. It has been linked to anger issues and lack of self regulation.
When you allow him to game again, could you suggest Minecraft or Roblox?

Terrifying that this was a doctor and a nurse. If they had done this to my loved one there would be hell to pay. Flicking your eyelid, pinching your nail bed and pressing your chest while you are seizing it beggars belief. Please, please, please put in a formal complaint starting with PALSand the CEO’s Office in the morning.

Sorry phone playing up wrong thread

@LouisRenault

I mean if we accidentally are rude or shout at a child or partner, we don’t get punished.

If a woman came on here and said her partner was rude, shouty and aggressive, she'd get a resounding 'LTB'.

This is how rude, shouty and aggressive men are made, by letting rude, shouty and aggressive boys think they can behave like that with no consequences.

No, it’s not - because ‘consequences’ (punishments) only happen after the bad behaviour. If we want to see good behaviour we need to model it, set appropriate boundaries and be open and fair about what that behaviour looks like. Not, say, buying a twelve year old an addictive toy and then being completely over the top when he then becomes addicted to it.

@HollowTalk

You are going to have three weeks of hell. That's far too long a punishment. Why not get him to do something which benefits you?

Have you tried it? I have - tends to be a couple of days of hell, then back to a pleasant child joining back in with family life, with an odd hour of begging to get the electronics back early thrown in here and there. Totally worth it for my ds to know I won't accept anyone swearing at me in my own house.

@LouisRenault

I mean if we accidentally are rude or shout at a child or partner, we don’t get punished.

If a woman came on here and said her partner was rude, shouty and aggressive, she'd get a resounding 'LTB'.

This is how rude, shouty and aggressive men are made, by letting rude, shouty and aggressive boys think they can behave like that with no consequences.

Good points

I would have chucked all my child’s tech in the bin if they had spoken to me like that. Stick to your guns.