Dh follows me to bed

[overreactionreally]

So obviously there are times when dh and I go to bed together but sometimes I like to go up first. I like pottering about, having some wind down time to myself. I'll read a bit in bed then doze off. Lately dh has started coming to bed at same time as me (regardless how early) he's in bed in seconds and wants light off straight to sleep. It bugs my routine but obviously I can't say anything as iabu.

Just wondering if there's anything your oh do that annoy you but you don't feel you can say because they are not really doing anything wrong?

I want mug pics, I have 1 favourite, my tea tastes best in it. Theres visitors mugs, and his daft, too big mugs. Also hot chocolate mugs, 1 wine glass, for me obviously. I have a favourite plate too, because most of ours dont match

I have a husband who follows me everywhere , if I say I'm going up now he'll say "oh ok, I hadn't planned an early night, but one sounds good!" Or words to those effect. Drives me nutty. He does similar if he's ready to go up - will stand up, turn off the TV and say "right come on!" - even if I'm not ready for bed yet.

I now tend not to announce it, vanish upstairs to put my PJ's on then never go back down

Dear lord that really IS a crap mug .

Kindle paperwhite for reading with the lights off..... it's amazing and not like reading on a normal screen so doesn't strain your eyes. I don't actually mind going to bed at the same time as otherwise I'd be all settled/falling asleep and then DH would disturb me by coming in and getting into bed.

So kindle paperwhite OP, it's cheaper than marriage counseling

Thank you about the table
Yes please to any other mug pics

Yes that is the worst crap mug

I do have others though, but that’s ultimate crap

Oh OP this drives me mad too! Doesn't happen every night luckily. I like to go up first, remove make up and cleanse, brush teeth, potter around then have ten minutes relaxing in bed with a boom before he gets in. If he comes up he gets in my way in the en suite (because it wouldn't possibly occur to him to go and use the main bathroom) and then talks to me whilst I'm going my little nighttime routine.

I've started saying to him 'right in going up to read for a bit' and then I turn the tv onto Sky Sports News or the darts! If I'm lucky he'll be distracted by that for half an hour or more before he comes up

@BlueFlavour

But then he’d use all my top tier ones I wouldn’t cope

Get him to choose his own mugs.

We have

My best mugs (untouchable by others)

Mid-tier mugs that are guest suitable (DH uses a few of these, I also use a few of these. Our preferences don’t overlap.)

DH’s shit mugs (geeky, oversized, generally awful but not as awful as your crap mug! I phase out particularly bad ones on a 1 in 1 out basis )

A few random mugs that never get used but aren’t objectively awful and probably sentimental- ones the kids bought, that kind of thing.

Basically there’s a Venn diagram of overlapping circles of mugs we’ll each use/tolerate.

Why can't you say anything?

We have separate bedrooms ... and separate shelves for mugs .

We also take separate holidays and this weekend I am having a lovely peaceful break (doing nothing in particular) whilst he is in Paris watching rugby . We've been married over 30 years but the key (for us) is plenty of time apart! Seriously wondering about how things will be when DH retires later this year .....

@BlueFlavour my mugs are also strictly ranked-

I think your top one is a cath kidson-as is mine.
I even put them in the cupboard by end use and DH can only use mugs on left side...

Yes nosquirrels
I haven’t included the kids’ JOKEY mugs
He can use those

Oh yes sorry I was thinking of Emma Bridgwater
Plonker

I can't believe he gives that mug to guests.....(not envy)

Lovely but too thick
He can use those as well

And those trendy Cornish ones

@BogRollBOGOF "....crap bang bang films...."
Love it

I call them "shootin and killin" films.

DH loves them 🙄

I think there's enough war, violence and murder in the world without having to watch it recreationally as well.

The man has NO idea I tell you. None

@BlueFlavour

Crap

Ooh that's a horrid mug. Please don't tell me he gives that to guests🤣🤣🤣

I’ve trained my DH (and the DC now they’re older) in mug-suitability assessment and now I’m never bought crap mugs. It’s highly recommended.

The only time it’s ever an issue now is if someone else makes me a hot drink in my house - visiting extended family or friends putting the kettle in - and choose a coffee mug for tea or vice versa…

I think you should just say something!

If he knew you liked the routine of pottering about by yourself for a little bit, he would probably be happy for you to do it that way!

Maybe he is thinking that you actually WANT him to come up and go straight to sleep! Nothing like a bit of direct communication for sorting that out :-D

The seriously explosive sneezing. Like a sodding bomb going off.

I’ve given up saying anything though - it’s been decades now. He once did it when close to a very tiny, new dd, which frightened her so much, she cried for ages. He was utterly mortified, but even that didn’t stop him doing it X trillion times for ever after.

Apart from that he’s not a bad old bugger though.

@BlueFlavour I was like you with mug ranking…

Then one day I just splashed out on a dozen top-ranking mugs. The lower ranked ones all went in a cardboard box under the bed.

After 6 months they went to the charity shop

Now we only have nice mugs and life is good

Even guests and workmen get the nice mugs.

It’s mug heaven

Just do it

I have to say guys, the one and only real perk of being a single parent is that you have total control of the top tier mugs....

Gonna just sit here gloating a tiny bit over my favourite mug of tea....

I've just realised that the children are at some point going to mess with my mug dominance though.

AAAAHHHHHH!

Oh my god nandor
It’s like you’ve shown me the light