Dh follows me to bed

[overreactionreally]

So obviously there are times when dh and I go to bed together but sometimes I like to go up first. I like pottering about, having some wind down time to myself. I'll read a bit in bed then doze off. Lately dh has started coming to bed at same time as me (regardless how early) he's in bed in seconds and wants light off straight to sleep. It bugs my routine but obviously I can't say anything as iabu.

Just wondering if there's anything your oh do that annoy you but you don't feel you can say because they are not really doing anything wrong?

My ex refused to go to bed like a normal person. Instead he would lie on the sofa with the TV on then fall asleep there every single night. It wasn't that our relationship was failing (it wasn't at that point, plus he did the same thing when I wasn't there), he was just acting like a toddler, trying to deny being tired and wanting to stay up late. Idiot!

[quote EarthSight]@robocracker Did you notice this in the first months you knew him, or has it taken years or decades to get annoyed at these things?[/quote]
It's been a build up of around 19 years lol but I do have quite a low tolerance of other people generally. I, of course, am perfect

@IcakethereforeIam

I ask him if he wants a cup of tea and he'll say 'oh, you can do!'.

I can feel the fury rise through me, just say yes or no!

Mine says ‘I wouldn’t say no’ = instant teeth-cracking fury 🤬 Mind you, he’s incapable of making a decision, so I no longer ask him!

YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp

Get yourself a kindle with a backlight or when DH turns out the light get up and go downstairs again

Kindle or tablet for you, eye mask for him.

No TVs in the bedroom but we all have tablets. I always read before I go to sleep DH comes to bed and watches crap bang-bang flashy nonsense. He also switches the light on, both at night and in the morning. Takes ages getting dressed. He'd never use my mug though.

If I'm feeling stressed, depressed or even sometimes if I have a couple of hours to myself I like to bake. Over the last few months any time I head into the kitchen, other than meal times my DH stops whatever he's doing and follows me. Usually making a cuppa and asking what I'm going to make. Then "suggests" what he could really fancy and rejects my suggestion(s). Once he has had his tea he wanders off but never for too long. He comes back and starts "helping" by tidying up, moving dishes to the sink, putting ingredients away etc. He has thrown out egg whites I left to one side, syrup to soak a cake, glacé icing. Generally he takes any relaxation and enjoyment out of it for me and I end up frustrated and cross. He says he's only trying to help

See my partner gets irritated when I DONT come to bed with him 😂

@Flickflak

The most annoying thing is how loudly he sneezes.

same-it woke me up more than once

@GeneLovesJezebel

No TV’s in the bedroom ! It’s for sex and sleep only.

Amen! I have never had a TV in my bedroom and never would… that sounds absolutely horrendous

@tkwal 😳 christ I’d kill him!!

I feel your pain @BlueFlavour
We have 3 shelves in our mug cupboard - top shelf for posh mugs that I never use for me (Expensive, but I don't like them). 2nd shelf for husband's huge white builders' mugs (which weigh a ton and I hate) and bottom shelf with my all favourites. Every time he empties the dishwasher I wait until he leaves the kitchen and then put them all on the right shelves because there's absolutely no point telling him yet again. OCD? Me?
Then there is the battle of the Marigolds. No problem until he retired. I like them hanging on the tap or over the edge of the sink. He PUTS THEM ON THE WINDOWSIL where they quietly lie drowning in a pool of frothy water.
And the interdental brushes wallowing in something disgusting at the side of the bathroom sink? Don't even get me started.
Good thing I love him.....

Oh. And another. There I am, quietly minding my own business in the kitchen, windows open, listening to the radio and he comes in, puts his enormous mug in the sink, closes the window, knocks off the radio, starts a short conversation and then leaves. I open the window, switch the radio on again, he comes in, closes the window, switches off the radio, restarts the conversation and goes out again.

@Snippysocks

Oh. And another. There I am, quietly minding my own business in the kitchen, windows open, listening to the radio and he comes in, puts his enormous mug in the sink, closes the window, knocks off the radio, starts a short conversation and then leaves. I open the window, switch the radio on again, he comes in, closes the window, switches off the radio, restarts the conversation and goes out again.

Shit forgot to shut the bedroom window I opened it this morning, he shut it from the outside so I opened it again. He moans if it's open when he goes to bed

@Bdhntbis

I feel the same about bedtime; sometimes I go up half an hour before I plan to go to sleep to read or watch something and DH comes up and I’m a bit put out but can’t say anything

Same here. I like to go to bed at 10pm and listen to the World Tonight on Radio 4. But if DH comes to bed at the same time I can't (well I suppose I could use headphones). He used to stay up until about 11 but now he doesn't most of the time.

Minnie - I am over 60 and always hated the idea of a tv in the bedroom ... however, finally during lockdown and sick of arguments about what to watch I did install a tv in my bedroom (I don't share with DH ) and I don't watch it that often but I finally realised that it could sometimes be useful.

@Snippysocks I feel your pain OH has control of the remote when he says he's off to bed he turns off the TV and leaves the remote on the arm of his chair I then have to retrieve it. He's given up expecting me to retire at the same time 😁

Is living together overrated? I live alone so wouldn't know but there sounds like a lot of irritations involved. Luckily I haven't been influenced much by romantic ideals but I imagine if one had high hopes for living with a partner they might be a bit disappointed!

@GreenNewDealNow

Is living together overrated? I live alone so wouldn't know but there sounds like a lot of irritations involved. Luckily I haven't been influenced much by romantic ideals but I imagine if one had high hopes for living with a partner they might be a bit disappointed!

I love my husband dearly but in my fantasy world we would live next door to each other with a shared garden. And maybe an internal door from one living room to another.

My DH does this. Drives me fucking mental. I just want five mins peace in the dark!

Luckily I don't live with my dp as I love my time to myself. But when we are together he prefers if we go to bed at the same time. I have said when I'm not ready to sleep and he prefers me being with him even if I'm reading or watching something.

I wouldn't have my bedtime dictated op. Yanbu

If I hear the question 'what are we having for lunch??' again from my hub I'm gonna scream.

I don't know! I know what I'M eating for lunch, ffs, dunno what you're having!

😱😱😱

I forgot about marigolds!!! I'm the only one that uses them yet dh will move them and they inevitably end up with loads of water inside.

@dipdye
I hear your pain. Husband on 7 day rota. I work mainly from home now. He starts fiddling with packets about 12 ish.
I eat fish on those days as he doesn't really like it😁 tuna sandwiches or nothing.
He puts the radio on in the Kitchen and I like to cook in silence. He moved the radio so high i can't reach it.

lol @BogRollBOGOF my husband watches crap bang-bang films too.