Dh follows me to bed

[overreactionreally]

So obviously there are times when dh and I go to bed together but sometimes I like to go up first. I like pottering about, having some wind down time to myself. I'll read a bit in bed then doze off. Lately dh has started coming to bed at same time as me (regardless how early) he's in bed in seconds and wants light off straight to sleep. It bugs my routine but obviously I can't say anything as iabu.

Just wondering if there's anything your oh do that annoy you but you don't feel you can say because they are not really doing anything wrong?

I avoid this in 2 ways - 1) DH goes to bed between 8 and 9pm most nights, which is waaaayy too early for me, and 2) we have separate bedrooms so I can do my own thing when I can't sleep (and because he gets up at 5am, which is only about 3h after I've gone to sleep myself, a lot of the time!)

If you want to read, then read, your husband can always pull the duvet or blankets up over his eyes.

Separate bedrooms here for years now. Its amazing.

He opens doors like Sully from Monsters Inc.
Both wfh. I often toy with the idea of just removing his office door permanently.
Constantly leaves the door from the kitchen to the garage open, thereby making the kitchen/diner freezing. Gets cross when the kitchen kick heater is on. Even though it turns on automatically when the temperature drops and it directly opposite the door from the kitchen to the garage.

It would be nice if my oh done this instead he comes to be around 3am waking me up which I find highly annoying.

DH takes his socks off by scraping his feet along the bedroom carpet, rather than bending down to remove them. This results in lots of black fluff all over our carpet … drives me mad.

He’s early 50s and fit and healthy … not 95 with mobility issues.

If you have the luxury of a spare room, move into it. You'll never look back.

If I’m going out in the evening I like to get my hair and make up done in my own space in our room. Sometimes my husband will come and sit on the bed whilst I get ready playing on his phone and I HATE it. I feel your pain, I think just tell him you want some time to yourself before bed one night.

@BlueFlavour

Lower end middle ranker

That's literally a £1 Tesco mug. It's one you give to the builders or DD makes cake in it.

@BlueFlavour

When he uses my best mug It really really annoys me. I put the crap mugs to the front of the cupboard and the nice ones at the back. I can just about handle him using one of the middle ranking mugs, but when he uses one of the top three I want to snatch it away from him.

Why the bloody hell is he not allowed to use the 'best mugs'? What's the point in having them in the back of the cupboard? Life is for living, for goodness sake. He's not a child, who are you to tell him which mug he can use in his own house?

[quote Nightdancer]@BeHappy91818 🤣

My dp seems to take ages to get dressed. It really irritates me if I'm in bed. He also sits on the bed to put his socks on. Why can't he stand up to do it? I've never known anyone take so long.

He's only getting dressed, but inside I'm absolutely raging. Poor bloke 😂[/quote]
Really!! My DH is slightly 'on the spectrum' I think as he has routines that can't be changed. Take dental care - mouthwash first, then 10mins flossing, then teeth brushing, then tongue brushing, the rinsing 2-3 times. All this either at least 3hrs after food or before bed. Drives me nuts.

I don’t mind DH sitting there but If he wanted me to turn the lights off while I was reading the answer would be no. Tbh this is why we have bedside lamps, but the spotlight style with bendy necks so the light doesn’t travel as much, we usually go to sleep at different times in the same room

We always go to bed at the same time, so that must make us the wierd

Ugh same. I usually go up first and like you, potter about a bit. Sort some washing, wash face and brush teeth, sort my clothes for the next day, read a bit in bed etc. On the days when DH comes up at the same time, he always manages to get into bed first, because he doesn't bother with laundry etc! It drives me mad when he comes up at the same time or a few minutes later and is in bed first!

OP, thank you for reminding my why I prefer to live alone. 😆

@overreactionreally

So obviously there are times when dh and I go to bed together but sometimes I like to go up first. I like pottering about, having some wind down time to myself. I'll read a bit in bed then doze off. Lately dh has started coming to bed at same time as me (regardless how early) he's in bed in seconds and wants light off straight to sleep. It bugs my routine but obviously I can't say anything as iabu.

Just wondering if there's anything your oh do that annoy you but you don't feel you can say because they are not really doing anything wrong?

What about go up then come back down then unwind then go back up.?

wants light off straight to sleep

I don’t think it’s fair for one person to come to bed and demand the other turns off their light! DH and I have bedside lights and whoever is reading keeps theirs on. The other can close their eyes!

I stay in the lounge for an hour after everyone goes to bed. DH has tried staying up and asking if I’m going to bed. I need that time regardless how late he goes to bed.

This is my current favourite DD bought it for Christmas. We all have our own mugs but DH has about 7 and each have a different function. Whatever you do don't make him a morning cuppa in his evening mug, he will tip it out and make again in the correct mug. So now I don't offer he can do it himself. Weirdo.
Going to bed is not an issue as I get up at 5 so go to bed at 10. He is retired and I have no idea what time he goes until I realise he is there.

My husband stays up a bit later than me and he lets the dog out and locks up.

I like a wind down time also.

But he does slam everything. He is so heavy handed with everything. He was hoovering this morning and he drags the wooden chairs across the tile floor. Omg the fucking noise of it. When I say anything he says oh I can't do anything right because he thinks the fact he his hoovering means I should just be happy with that. The noise goes right through me.

I used to have the opposite problem. H would stay downstairs watching TV, then fall asleep. The living room door would be open as we had dogs, and I'd lie in bed trying to sleep while the TV blared and he snored away like a tractor. In the end I made him come to bed when I went.

I know it's not feasible (or desirable!) for everyone but DH and I moved into our own bedrooms just over a year ago and I would genuinely recommend it to anyone. We tried separate duvets and other things but I am a crappy sleeper and I'm just too easily disturbed. He was a bit offended at first but he was a complete convert after one night apart I can play my rain sounds as loudly as I like and he can snore without a poke in the ribs!

DH comes to hang around the kitchen 5 minutes before I serve up a meal then decides to be 'helpful' by emptying the clean dishwasher or drying up whatever is on the draining rack. Problem is, he does this by opening EVERY cupboard and drawer that has cutlery, utensils or crockery in it and then grabs stuff, swinging between draewrs and cupboards just as I'm trying to move hot pans and dishes between cooker and table!

Of course if I say anything I'll get the "I'm only trying to help..." whinge

[quote Nightdancer]@BeHappy91818 🤣

My dp seems to take ages to get dressed. It really irritates me if I'm in bed. He also sits on the bed to put his socks on. Why can't he stand up to do it? I've never known anyone take so long.

He's only getting dressed, but inside I'm absolutely raging. Poor bloke 😂[/quote]
I'm dyspraxic as fuck and if I tried to put my socks on standing up, I'd break my neck

I have to sit down to pull my trousers off too, and I only put my shoes on at the bottom of the stairs because I need to use a step (and sometimes the wall ) for balance to tie my laces

If the light bothers him why doesn't he just get a mask? He can go up to bed any time, but I don't see why you have to change your routine just because he decides to follow you up now.