My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To not want neighbours coming in my garden?

299 replies

Hosta13 · 19/03/2022 17:45

I don't particularly like my neighbours. They have a lot of unruly children, and the family as a whole are generally quite loud and irritating. That said I'm happy to keep myself to myself, and accept noise is a fact of life when you live in a built up area and houses are only a few feet apart.

What I do object to is them intruding (for want of a better term), into my property. The children used to ride bikes on my driveway, I now keep my front gated locked. They also used to frequently climb over the 4ft fence between our properties into my back garden. I replaced it with a 6ft fence last year but have had suspicions they still enter my garden as things would be moved, or I'd hear a ball being kicked over but when I'd go outside to look there wasn't one there.

Today I was in the garden and found 4 of their balls that must've been kicked over earlier today which I threw back - I always do throw the balls back, although sometimes it might be a day or two as I don't go out in the garden every day, am at work, can't be bothered going out there if its raining etc. They very rarely knock to ask for the balls back and rely on me throwing them over but if they do ask I give them back straight away.

So about half an hour later I hear all the kids in the garden (its warm and sunny here today so I've got windows and doors open)whining to the parents about how their balls are in my garden, and can't dad just lift the fence panel again so they can retrieve them. There are 2 that it seems I missed, ones in a bush and another one in the far corner and despite having 10+ balls and the 4 I've chucked back, they need these ones. They've seen them from looking over the fence I assume, they have a climbing frame near the fence which they can see over into my garden from. So anyway dad kind of fobs them off ineffectually but its clear this is what they've done more than once for them to even suggest it. They're still going on about it an hour later and saying well we'll climb over her gate then and get them that way.

This isn't on is it? I wouldn't have dared go in someones garden when I was a child and there's no way my parents would have allowed it either. I'm now trying to work out how I can stop them lifting the panel, because clearly although they didn't do it today they have and I'm sure will again. It feels really intrusive and unpleasant.

They're not tiny BTW, ages range from 8-13.

OP posts:
Report
Xiomara22 · 19/03/2022 20:59

I’d paint my fences and top of gate with anti climb paint and if you put up the little notices to warn people of it then they can’t complain if their clothes get ruined

Report
gogohm · 19/03/2022 21:02

@Hosta13

An amicable arrangement is that you will throw them back once a day if you are home when it's convenient, my kids you kick / knock a ball over occasionally so the neighbours didn't mind throwing them back, if a second one went the same day they were not allowed to go and ask a second time.

You sound very intolerant of children

Report
Seedandyarn · 19/03/2022 21:04

I can only assume those that feel OP is being unreasonable are raising entitled brats that demand the whole of society bows to their every whim just like the OP wet lettuce neighbours.

We have a large garden with 5 neighbours gardens bordering it my DD has only ever lost a ball over the fence a few times because it goes over a fence it's gone as far as I am concerned.

Report
Hosta13 · 19/03/2022 21:08

@blitzkoff

Op do they kick the balls into the other side garden ? Or are they just targeting you ?
I would be really annoyed to have this happen to my in my property

Mainly my side because thats where the climbing frame is, they seem to kick or throw balls to and from there mainly. Not saying it never goes to the other side but mostly me I think.

They used to kick the ball against the fence the other side til it broke. They can't lift those panels as its a different sort of fence where the panels are nailed to the posts though.
OP posts:
Report
CecilyTheWake · 19/03/2022 21:09

Our neighbours used to lift the fence panel to let their kids into our garden to get their balls. We always threw them back, but we were out at work all day and apparently they couldn’t wait till we got home. It really used to piss me off because they’d always mess around in our garden while ‘collecting the balls’. Then when they were a bit older they just started climbing over whenever they felt like it and I had to put a stop to it.

We have a civil relationship with our neighbours and even so, it annoyed me that they felt it was fine to just come into our garden when it suited them. If we weren’t on speaking terms then it would be totally unacceptable. I would definitely fix the fence panel in and put something along the top to stop them climbing over.

Report
Hosta13 · 19/03/2022 21:11

[quote gogohm]@Hosta13

An amicable arrangement is that you will throw them back once a day if you are home when it's convenient, my kids you kick / knock a ball over occasionally so the neighbours didn't mind throwing them back, if a second one went the same day they were not allowed to go and ask a second time.

You sound very intolerant of children [/quote]
If you read my OP you'll see I've thrown 4 back in one day. Your expectation is 1 a day yet you think I'm intolerant of children?

You are right though. I am intolerant of children - those badly behaved children who are allowed to do anything they want by their parents.

OP posts:
Report
Riseholme · 19/03/2022 21:16

I would bring the balls into the house and make it clear you'll only return them once a week.
They need to learn some patience and manners.

Report
5zeds · 19/03/2022 21:20

I’d find this very very irritating. My take on things would be that they will keep doing it till it inconveniences them. So I’d put some stinky manure where the children will stand on it in front of the panel or just a lot of mud to be walked home. I’d take the balls inside and deliver them at bedtime everyday making sure to ring the bell and disturb them. I’d put something on the fence to mark clothes. When it makes Mum and Dad work harder it will stop.

Report
PomRuns · 19/03/2022 21:21

Sorry you are getting a hard time OP. It sounds very infuriating and I would hate people coming into our garden too.

Report
ListeningButNotHearing · 19/03/2022 21:28

Because they're cheeky fuckers I would keep every single one of them.
Turn their problem back on them.
Well worth getting a Ring double camera (motion and light). You can pre-record a trespassing message/warning.

Report
RincewindsHat · 19/03/2022 21:29

YANBU, this would drive me nuts. I don't go wandering into other people's gardens without permission and would be seriously annoyed if someone was coming into my garden daily without permission. The kids need to learn the meaning of boundaries and the parents need to step up and stop letting their little darlings annoy their neighbours.

I have no idea why so many posters are implying you're in the wrong or are not tolerant enough; why should you let kids climb into your garden multiple times a day?

Report
Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 19/03/2022 21:37

@MyDcAreMarvel

You sound very petty op. Surely it’s easier for you if they just get their own balls.

Petty to want privacy on their own property? Or do you raise your children not to have respect for someone else's property and privacy?
Report
Livelovebehappy · 19/03/2022 21:38

Have you tried the direct approach? “Stop fucking kicking your fucking balls into my fucking garden!!!!!!’ That might terrify them enough to not do it again. It’s lazy parenting. When mine were that age, and loved football, I would tell them to go to the local park and play there, or take them to the park myself. I was self aware enough to realise that kicking footballs around a small garden was not appropriate or practical, or considerate, so just didn’t allow it.

Report
OnTheBoardwalk · 19/03/2022 21:39

Kid next door went through massive football phase (World Cup year) and I ended up with a few balls in my back garden. I don’t use or look out to my garden that much so there would often be a couple of balls before I’d see them and throw them back over

One time I heard kid complaining to his dad his favourite ball was in my garden. His dad told him he'd get it back ‘when and if Boardwalk decided he could have it, if at all'

That’s the way it should be with a kid. I did throw it back but he is a lot more careful of balls heading my way after that

Report
Blimpop · 19/03/2022 21:41

Ah that would drive me nuts. Definitely put something antisocial by the fence.
My dog takes great pride in popping footballs. You need to borrow her

Report
Windypants21 · 19/03/2022 21:43

I think by the sounds of things you live on your own. When I was around 40, living alone and had the same issue. Local kids played football outside my house. I was at the bottom of the cul de sac and so there was more space for them. The ball, was either ricocheting off my house windows, walls or my car. At times it went into my garden. I asked them on a few occasions to go easy...ignored. Feared reprisals so I kept it low key. They still sprayed my car with shaving foam on occasion. Eventually they hit it one day into my garden. Thankfully I had a high gate that was difficult to climb over. I didnt bother returning the ball. They knocked and asked for the ball, I said there was no ball , the bigger one said youd better give me the ball and pushed my front door, I pushed it and subsequently him back and told him to fudge off. Never had an issue afterwards. I'm not advocating this as it could have got messy. But despite my bravado before during and after I was worried they would terrorise me. For those that think this is just kids being kids and let them have their ball back it so isnt, especially if you're on your own and the parents are a waste of space.

Report
PansyParkinson57 · 19/03/2022 21:48

You sound very petty op

How exactly is it petty to not want all and sundry strolling round your garden? Perhaps the OP should leave her doors open so they can make themselves at home in her house as well.

Report
Windypants21 · 19/03/2022 21:56

Once you've secured your panels maybe you could start dipping the balls in something really smelly or sticky before you throw them back, with gloves on obviously. Say sorry it landed in your compost or something.

Report
Newnamefor2022 · 19/03/2022 22:04

Are they proper footballs that are getting kicked over? Is it possible to deflate them so that they are unusable but not damaged? If the parents had to pump them back up each time, maybe they would be keener to stop the balls being kicked over? Just a thought.

Report
Hosta13 · 19/03/2022 22:12

I've been burgled 3 times since I've lived here. Once was things stolen from the garden, Once was a full on break in (all my jewellery was stolen)and the other was either workmen who were doing some work here, or they left the door open and someone came in.

I'm therefore quite protective of privacy and security. I always feel safe inside my house despite the above. But I hate going in my garden. Unless next door are out, when I can happily spend hours out there. I rarely go out there when they're in because of all the screaming and yelling, dog barking, ball banging and if they're not doing that they're making comments, if I play music they screech along out of tune. I did try headphones but I feel I need to be able to hear so I have some idea if a ball is likely to come at me.

@Windypants21 sorry you had to put up with that, it sounds horrendous. The thing about the kids next door is they're not going to come at me in that way. In some ways that sort of aggression would be easier. If you speak to them they either give a completely blank vacant look, or say something stupid which I won't engage with. Like last year they shouted over the fence when I was in the garden 'our red balls in your garden, we want it back'. No please or anything! It wasn't, I'd thrown it back that morning. When I say that they start chanting she's stolen our ball, ball stealer and then fake crying to mummy and daddy, before after ages of that carry on one of them realises the ball is actually in their garden...

I have never experienced kids like this so I have no idea how to deal with them.

OP posts:
Report
Hosta13 · 19/03/2022 22:16

I do quite like the idea of the balls happening to land in something sticky dirty or greasy :) I have a few things in my garden shed that fit that bill. They wouldn't damage the balls but would cause a bit of inconvenience.

OP posts:
Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

JudgeJ · 19/03/2022 22:18

@Sparklingbrook

Ah the sun has come out. I've missed these threads. On MN no footballs shall be returned to their owners, ever. Grin

On MN everyone had to tolerate your children's brattish behaviour because 'they're only kids'. Not sure when this excuse runs out.
Report
Hutchy16 · 19/03/2022 22:21

Seriously though…just speak to them, nicely. Tell them it makes you feel uncomfortable in your own home.

Then if it persists, wedge the panels.

Or…realise that it takes no time at all to throw the balls back, and the kids will only be young for a short while then you’ll not have the issue again.

Don’t make it more of a problem than it needs to be. Set your boundaries with them, be more flexible with the ball returning, and wedge for privacy if they don’t listen…it’s a none issue if you do those things

Report
MrsWinters · 19/03/2022 22:21

Go to a local stables and get some bags of manure and put it all along the fence line.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.