To not want neighbours coming in my garden?

[Hosta13]

I don't particularly like my neighbours. They have a lot of unruly children, and the family as a whole are generally quite loud and irritating. That said I'm happy to keep myself to myself, and accept noise is a fact of life when you live in a built up area and houses are only a few feet apart.

What I do object to is them intruding (for want of a better term), into my property. The children used to ride bikes on my driveway, I now keep my front gated locked. They also used to frequently climb over the 4ft fence between our properties into my back garden. I replaced it with a 6ft fence last year but have had suspicions they still enter my garden as things would be moved, or I'd hear a ball being kicked over but when I'd go outside to look there wasn't one there.

Today I was in the garden and found 4 of their balls that must've been kicked over earlier today which I threw back - I always do throw the balls back, although sometimes it might be a day or two as I don't go out in the garden every day, am at work, can't be bothered going out there if its raining etc. They very rarely knock to ask for the balls back and rely on me throwing them over but if they do ask I give them back straight away.

So about half an hour later I hear all the kids in the garden (its warm and sunny here today so I've got windows and doors open)whining to the parents about how their balls are in my garden, and can't dad just lift the fence panel again so they can retrieve them. There are 2 that it seems I missed, ones in a bush and another one in the far corner and despite having 10+ balls and the 4 I've chucked back, they need these ones. They've seen them from looking over the fence I assume, they have a climbing frame near the fence which they can see over into my garden from. So anyway dad kind of fobs them off ineffectually but its clear this is what they've done more than once for them to even suggest it. They're still going on about it an hour later and saying well we'll climb over her gate then and get them that way.

This isn't on is it? I wouldn't have dared go in someones garden when I was a child and there's no way my parents would have allowed it either. I'm now trying to work out how I can stop them lifting the panel, because clearly although they didn't do it today they have and I'm sure will again. It feels really intrusive and unpleasant.

They're not tiny BTW, ages range from 8-13.

@Rosebuud

when i was young, if i kicked a ball over a fence, it was gone. i'd lost it

Wow, that’s so harsh, and really is far from normal💐

Not harsh at all, if a child experiences the loss then he/she will take greater care of property in future, it's called being a responsible parent, try it sometime.

@Hutchy16

Seriously though…just speak to them, nicely. Tell them it makes you feel uncomfortable in your own home.

Then if it persists, wedge the panels.

Or…realise that it takes no time at all to throw the balls back, and the kids will only be young for a short while then you’ll not have the issue again.

Don’t make it more of a problem than it needs to be. Set your boundaries with them, be more flexible with the ball returning, and wedge for privacy if they don’t listen…it’s a none issue if you do those things

Bahahah wtaf. She doesn't need to speak to them nicely the parents shouldn't be encouraging trespassing. Its on the parents to parent properly. Teach their kids right and wrong, or hey you have so many other balls to play with. Neighbour isn't at your beck and call to return balls.

Its not like its once a week, its several times a day! Thats far too much to expect someone to continually throw them back over. Op has her own life to get on with not their bloody servant.

The kids should learn to not make it a problem themselves. They aren't 3yrs old and can't understand.

OP, it would piss me off too.

It is not normal or acceptable behaviour to trespass in order to get balls back from a neighbour’s house. It is normal to knock on their front door, apologise for intruding and ask if the ball coukd please be collected/returned.

In your shoes, if it were convenient (ie, I was already in the garden), I’d throw them back. If I found out they were breaking in to get access, I would then collect the balls and keep them hidden in my house until they came to politely ask for them back (they could have come from another garden, you see, so you don’t know which one to throw them to).

But I would also want to stop both the children and boys coming over in the first place.

I’d knock on the neighbours door and say that the fence has some damage on your side. The panels seem to be moving in the frame. Could you check their side to get a idea of what is causing it and what might fixit. Be nice and neighbourly and have a slow inspection. Some photos perhaps? Then say, the only solution is that you will put wedges on your side and that means the panels won’t move any more. incidentally, you are planning on putting some climbing plants there too.

Then - head to the DIY shop for anti vandal or anti clamber paint - horrid sticky stuff that will stick to the hands and clothes of anyone who touches it. Or you could go for the horse stuff another poster mentioned - that sounds more subtle and could be passed off as more gardening related.

Next - Google telescopic poles. Usually less than a tenner in the Aldi Camping sale once or twice a year. Buy 2. Stick the poles at either end of the fence. Stick a net between them (may arose or string between the two to minimize the net sinking in the middle). Plant ivy or other fast growing climbers. Enjoy the peace in summer 2023.

None of this should be your problem. You shouldn’t have to deal with it. But you have crappy Neighbours, so if you want to fix it, you do have to take action.

This is a nice, not too passive aggressive way to to do. It is also easily removable if necessary and doesn’t require planning permission. With a bonus of more privacy!

Honestly....dont expect pleases or thankyous ...if you get one, all well and good, but dont expect it. If their parents cant or wont see how blxxdy irritating , never mind totally selfish this is, then dont expect that their children will be any better. This used to happen in my mums garden from our neighbours years ago. We got apologies and a polite request for the balls return. If it happened twice, literally the game was over, parents said 'enough'....and the kids weren't aggressive in any way, either playing the game or in their approach. Sorry to say this doesnt happen too often now. Cant believe people are saying just put up with it ....even if you wanted to sit in your garden while they were in theirs who would want to run the risk of getting clobbered by a ball while trying to peacefully read a book or drink a glass of wine !

Wedge or screw the panels in. You could use anti-climb paint- this never dries and will cover them in brown or green gunge if they climb over.

I don’t see a problem with them getting their balls to be honest.
They aren’t damaging your property or hanging around in it.
I’d rather neighbors kids just grabbed their ball then me having to go out and Chuck it back.

I would knock and speak to the Dad or put a note through the door:
Hi all, I understand that balls will sometimes come over the fence but there have been a lot recently and I would really appreciate it if it was kept to a minimum, and please do not enter my garden by climbing over the fence or moving the panels.

Of course I am happy to through the occasional ball back but I am often working so it will be when I have a break.

Thank you, neighbour.

LTB

@Hosta13 it’s become a bit of a game for the kids - a ball version of ‘knock down ginger’.

I suggest you nip out, pick up the balls in your garden & then next time you are passing take the balls into the local charity shop. If they want the balls back, they have to move sharp & pay to get them back.

Hosta13: ‘Hey Mr NextDoorDad, just to let you know I am donating plants & stuff from my garden to charidees’.

MrNDD: ‘Oh, that’s nice’

Hosta13: ‘Yes, anything I have in my garden I do not want goes to the charidee shop’

MrHNDD: ‘Oh?’

Hosta13: ‘Just saying…’

For the people saying you can't see the problem, good for you, you can allow your property to be entered by whoever you want whenever you want, that doesn't mean it's at all right, absolutely disgusting to enter someone's property without permission, doesn't matter if they break anything or not, it's her private home. Op 100% the brackets put earlier from amazon, you can fit them yourself easily in about half an hour. Then put something to stop them going over the gate. And no you don't have to run out as soon as the balls come over the parents need to parent and stop the children playing games where balls are repeatedly going over, it's really not that hard.

I think you are a saint OP putting up with balls flying into your garden that often and having idiot neighbours encouraging it by removing fences!
I'd tell them you are tired of the balls coming in and it needs to stop.
I'd tell them your fence is getting damaged by the panels being lifted and it needs to stop as it's trespass
I'd get CCTV installed

Parents need to take their kids to the park to play football instead of inconveniencing their neighbours.

This happens to me but my thinking is that they are kids out playing and that’s not a bad thing. I unlock my gate and they know to come into the garden and get their ball when they need to.

I think both sides (you and the neighbours), sound as bad as each other, albeit in different ways.

I had next doors kids deliberately throwing things over and climbing up the fences while their gormless parents watched on pathetically. It’s awful and makes you not want to spend time in your own garden.

I lost my shit with their parents and it stopped.

Your neighbours sound like pushovers scared of their own kids. It’s therefore unlikely they’re going to want conflict with you. Go round and tell them the kids are NOT to come in your garden under any circumstances.

I'd get some cement and cement the fence panel in tbh. Wouldn't bother removing it from the posts, just edge the panel with cement against it.

Is it illegal to buy barbed wire? If not peg a few rolls down while you're waiting for your f off holly to grow.

(*This comes from the Don't Try This At Home advice book)

@Hosta13

I have got quite a few spiky plants along the boundary. But there are 15 panels between our 2 houses, and some are alongside a concrete path so I can't plant there.

A motion sprinkler might work although I'd need to know what panel they were coming through to position it right.

Something like these should secure the fence panels,

www.amazon.co.uk/Woodside-Fence-Panel-Security-Brackets/dp/B07YG2R23S/ref=asc_df_B07YG2R23S?hvlocphy&linkCode=df0&psc=1&hvnetw=o&hvlocint&hvdev=t&hvadid=80264441140180&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-4583863986616468

Do you have legal cover on your household insurance that you could get advice from? I would be inclined to have CCTV installed so you have proof of the no of times the ball is thrown over and them coming into your garden and that they constitute a nuisance. Some people want to cat proof their garden to keep cats in or out so perhaps they could see if there was a solution with netting, as you would use on a tennis court. I had a neighbour in London do this when they had a new baby to prevent cat poo being buried in their garden

You can get camera quite cheap on Amazon, you can put sd card in to record, position it near a window overlooking your garden.

You could also buy a motion sensor wildlife camera, which will take a picture each time someone walks past it. Or of blackbirds, foxes, and mice. Overall, a worthy purchase.
I live the term: f* off holly 😂

Whilst i like the idea of just concreting the panels in, I suppose they are not concreted in so they can be replaced in case of damage, and then you couldnt get the concrete out. Thus the brackets seem a better option. As a second layer, you could buy some cheap, small
Climbing trellises (5-10 quid a piece) and dig them in just behind the fence. So if the fence panel is lifted, they will be blocked by another layer of metal behind it. I can show you a picture of mine (used to block off cats)

This thread has me laughing, sorry op.
Please don't be that neighbour that stabs footballs or hoses kids with water or makes their home a fortress with spikes all around.
To be honest, if I were a kid still, you sound exactly like the type we would try to annoy more just for being so annoying and uptight.
When my kids were small, we always lifted panels to let our kids retrieve their balls so as not to keep bothering the neighbours. Much better thank knocking every five minutes to ask you to get their ball.
Seriously, relax, let them run in and get their ball, bigger things on life to bother yourself about.

And bear in mind that as soon as you atop them lifting up the panels, they will climb over the fence, so you need measures there: anti theft barbed wire. Anti theft paint too (as long as it doesnt harm wildlife) and their clothes will be ruined hahahahahah (cackles with glee)

Get rid of the balls, do u have foxes. They like to chew on anything. Blame it on them. When they ask about it, say you returned all 4 balls, no knowledge of any other balls but how do they know, did they enter your garden?

@navydear

This thread has me laughing, sorry op. Please don't be that neighbour that stabs footballs or hoses kids with water or makes their home a fortress with spikes all around. To be honest, if I were a kid still, you sound exactly like the type we would try to annoy more just for being so annoying and uptight. When my kids were small, we always lifted panels to let our kids retrieve their balls so as not to keep bothering the neighbours. Much better thank knocking every five minutes to ask you to get their ball. Seriously, relax, let them run in and get their ball, bigger things on life to bother yourself about.

Wow you taught your kids they can trespass into someone's else property. What else? Teach them its okay to rifle through peoples bags, Jimmy open locks to get into a car or a 🏠

Shame on you. Its ppl like you who don't parent the kids properly and teach them right from wrong and valuable other skills like patience, respect etc so we end up with adults who are become problem neighbours

@navydear

This thread has me laughing, sorry op. Please don't be that neighbour that stabs footballs or hoses kids with water or makes their home a fortress with spikes all around. To be honest, if I were a kid still, you sound exactly like the type we would try to annoy more just for being so annoying and uptight. When my kids were small, we always lifted panels to let our kids retrieve their balls so as not to keep bothering the neighbours. Much better thank knocking every five minutes to ask you to get their ball. Seriously, relax, let them run in and get their ball, bigger things on life to bother yourself about.

Vile. Yet another self absorbed, entitled parent bringing up entitled brats as kids. Seriously, what is it nowadays with parents thinking the world owes them and their kids something?!

Stop being a lazy parent and teach your kids some respect and manners. People won’t pander forgo them throughout their life so they’d better get used to it now.

Cannot believe some of the chavvy replies on this thread.

YANBU OP.

@MushroomCow99

Stab their footballs to death and throw them back.