Babies like zombies at nursery

[BlueTreeCat]

I’m trying to decide between childminder and nursery for my LO at the mo. At the nurseries I’ve visited all the babies just seem to be sat there all listless and blank looking. No smiling, no laughing, just sat staring, or crying. Is this normal for nurseries or have I just visited some poor ones? What’s been your experience? I’m talking babies 12 months and younger here. It’s not so bad with the older ones I don’t think, from what I’ve seen.

My babies loved nursery and they all had such great variety in their days.

Very much not normal. Where on earth are you visiting?

I dropped DS for his settling-in session and he shot off outside doing army crawl. That said they don't spontaneously laugh or smile as a default. I would have expected to see staff interacting with them.

I worked in daycare settings in the baby rooms (6 weeks - 12 months)
The babies were engaged, would follow us around the room and exhibit curiosity and connection (holding onto my leg or babbling away).

Imo what you have described sounds like the carers don't interact or provide enough stimulating activities so they have learnt not to expect engagement. I would run a mile!!!

One caveat, if you visited in the late afternoon then everyone is tired although I would still expect some typical baby behaviour.

Depends.... kids aren't laughing all day long 🤷🏻‍♀️ I would be looking more at the interaction between the staff and the kids, artwork on the walls, activities set for the day.....

It sounds like you've visited some bad ones, how many have you been that are like that?

My Son started nursery in February a week or so before he turned 9 months. He's loved it since the first settling in session.
They send us photos throughout the day and a sheet at the end of every day telling us what they've been up to. My Son is always smiling away in the photos and videos. Whenever I drop him off he gets really excited and reaches out for the teachers.

He's also come on leaps and bounds since starting. He's just turned 10 months and since starting just over a month ago he's such a little chatterbox, cruising round furniture and so close to his first steps. I'm really happy with our nursery

Depends on the time you visit too, if you are visiting when they are full of food and ready for a nap maybe they are in quiet/ falling asleep mode.

If not it's not normal, I often collect my ds at 4pm and there's children everywhere building tents, reading and generally having a lovely time.

I put my DD in nursery at 11mos, just so I got a break. There’s not a chance she would have sat still like a zombie no matter how crappy the nursery was 🤣

What magic babies are these?

Not at all, mine started at 10 months and at settling in sessions he was off exploring everything, they had much better toys than us 😂

I prefer to use a day nursery as I like to know there are lots of qualified people around if anything goes wrong, and to keep an eye on each other.

Yeah, don't recognise this at all! The babies at DD's nursery are always up to something

We used nursery with dd2 from 7 months. None of this was our experience at all. She used to come back covered in paint or other craft stuff and was weaned on a much wider variety of food than I would have dared (lamb casserole and chicken curry at 7 months!). She absolutely loved it, I would send her again in a heartbeat

Dd started hers at 6months. It was fabulous. The staff were all really engaged and she was really happy there. When we moved abroad, I'd left my job, just packed up the house and the last nursery collection was the thing that made me weep. Look for a different one.

I will probably go against the grain here, but if I had a choice (which many of us don’t have) I’d never put my baby under 12 months to the nursery. It’s just not developmentally appropriate for them, I’d prefer one person to look after my baby. That being said, there are a lot of nurseries out there with very dedicated stuff who have babies best interests in heart. Find the one you have a good feeling for.

@Bunnycat101

Very much not normal. Where on earth are you visiting?

This. Sounds like a romanian orphanage circa 1992

My DS went to nursery full time since 10 months old. In baby’s room I think he didn’t do as much but now he’s in the room for toddlers and he’s having so much fun there. We wouldn’t put him with childminder just because knowing how difficult it is to look after even one child at a time. At nursery the staff have each other to keep an eye on and other dedicated staff doing other jobs like cooking cleaning.

Sources please @Idkiibu.

Sounds disturbing. My daughter went at 9 months and was constantly doing painting, musical activities, sensory activities, etc. I think she was bored when she was home with me 😂 she wasn't yet crawling so I was a bit worried but came on so much developmentally after starting.

She also bonded with her key worker and has an amazing relationship with her.

There are some nurseries who are lazy with the younger babies if they can get away with it.

Sounds like they aren’t being looked after or cared for properly and they’ve gone into a quiet ‘zombie like’ state to just get through the day . Some realise quicker than others that maybe nobody is responding so they withdraw

Mines 12 months and they have loads of activities, singing, dancing, natural toys, stacking cups etc and they have an outside area when the weather is nice. The staff put different activities out like messy play most days. He absolutely loves it. I would look at other nurseries

@BlueTreeCat

I’m trying to decide between childminder and nursery for my LO at the mo. At the nurseries I’ve visited all the babies just seem to be sat there all listless and blank looking. No smiling, no laughing, just sat staring, or crying. Is this normal for nurseries or have I just visited some poor ones? What’s been your experience? I’m talking babies 12 months and younger here. It’s not so bad with the older ones I don’t think, from what I’ve seen.

This is not normal because many nurseries find sneaky ways to reject applications for SEN babies. Seems like you might have attended one of the few nurseries that do take them, or you visited before nap time. Go and arrange a second visit earlier in the day. You should visit baby rooms first thing to get an accurate sense of what they’re like.

It sounds like the babies are zoning out due to lack of interaction. I looked at one nursery that had them stuffed into bumbos doing much the same; I ran a mile.

DT’s started full time nursery at six months - no zombies there. They loved it and got excited when they arrived. Used the same nursery until they started school. Two of the nursery staff became our babysitters.

I’m a baby room leader and I can promise that’s not the case in every nursery.
A good nursery will stimulate the babies, make them feel happy, secure, and enjoy their time. You will however sometimes get the observers who enjoy sitting quietly and watching. Go with your gut, if a setting doesn’t feel right to you then choose another option