To seek assurances that I’ll be put on a single sex ward?

[Thoosa]

Not single gender. Single sex.

Im due for one, maybe two, surgeries this year. I’m a DV and rape survivor.

I’m nervous.

[quote Piper22]@risefromyourgrave oh well done, you’ve found an isolated incident with which to tarnish a whole group of people, I.e the very backbone of prejudice and discrimination.[/quote]
Here's the thing.

We wouldn't have to do this, if you didn't keep advancing an argument that relies on an assumption that male transitioners are less risk than other males and should be treated differently.

I Just Want Male Transitioners To Be Treated Like Other Males.

We do remember the way you've spoken to OP since you started replying

Fortunately I’m mostly finding him incredibly boring and easy to ignore. I do admire your stamina though @PurgatoryOfPotholes

@Thoosa

You don’t get to dictate who can post what and to where on a public forum, especially when no guidelines are being broken

It is making me wonder why you’re posting so vigorously, tediously and irrelevantly on my thread, though.

How do you imagine you’re coming across?

I’m posting in response to discussions I’m having with other posters - that is the purpose of this forum

That’s what you think you’re doing.

It’s not how you’re coming across.

I think I’ll go back to skipping your posts now.

If that is your logic, do you think we should ban all male taxi drivers? Provide female chaperones for the journey?
If the OP would feel unsafe alone with a male taxi driver, I'm sure that she would ring the taxi firm and ask specifically for a female driver (they do exist), or if that's not possible she might ask a friend to accompany her.

Just like she has said that she will request that only female staff attend to her intimate care. As is her right.

If that is your logic, do you think we should ban all male taxi drivers? Provide female chaperones for the journey?

As far as I am aware, my local council is obliged to provide a chaperone when taxi drivers pick up disabled pupils for the special educational needs school. I hope this is a measure nationally.

Because this cohort is extremely vulnerable, and they knew that otherwise they would end up paying child abusers to abuse disabled children.

[quote Piper22]@risefromyourgrave oh well done, you’ve found an isolated incident with which to tarnish a whole group of people, I.e the very backbone of prejudice and discrimination.[/quote]
Thanks @Piper22. And I will say well done to you for being so lacking in empathy for women, and so proud to display it.
You clearly don’t care what the OP, me, or other women on this thread have been through, and I sincerely hope that you never experience what we went through.
If you really think that I have no right to not be on a ward with a trans woman, then you are really not worth my, or anyone else’s, time.

You keep saying it's transphobia which suggests that OP, and others, are unreasonably fearful about trans people.

Whilst others have pointed out that transwomen are no less likely than other males to be predatory and whilst it has been pointed out that nefarious males will take the opportunity to claim to be trans to get access to vulnerable women, what if it is not fear of transwomen? What if it's just women wanting boundaries?

What I think is sexist is that transwomen get to dictate who they want to be with in hospital and that ward managers will accommodate but that it is tranphobia for a woman to want to be in a single sex ward.

Setting aside OPs, mine and others trauma based response , this is just putting males feelings above those of women.

If the OP would feel unsafe alone with a male taxi driver, I'm sure that she would ring the taxi firm and ask specifically for a female driver (they do exist), or if that's not possible she might ask a friend to accompany her.

Funnily enough that is exactly what I do, when I can’t drive myself.

Minimising risk to vulnerable groups should be everyone's logic.

To minimise risk, taxi drivers are enhanced DBS checked, registered and identified. Women can request a female driver if they prefer and there are female only taxi companies in many cities. These are all ways to reduce the risk to women.

Kind of proves they're not actually women really doesn't it?

@DdraigGoch

If that is your logic, do you think we should ban all male taxi drivers? Provide female chaperones for the journey? If the OP would feel unsafe alone with a male taxi driver, I'm sure that she would ring the taxi firm and ask specifically for a female driver (they do exist), or if that's not possible she might ask a friend to accompany her.

Just like she has said that she will request that only female staff attend to her intimate care. As is her right.

Just to add to the above, why do you imagine that women going home from nights out or whatever don't take these sorts of precautions against potential assault by a taxi driver? Last to be dropped off leave as a pair etc.

Why do you think that the OP isn't entitled to take similar precautions against assault in other situations - such as from another patient?

@Thoosa - you’re right to be concerned and it’s very understandable that you just want to feel -and be - safe. The recent story is really frightening. It seems that logic has left the building, or the NHS at least.

Completely disagree that you should have to pay private to get dignity, privacy and safety!

I agree it’s galling to have to explain why you would like to ensure a penis-free ward when you’re incapacitated, but until there are men/women/unisex areas I think sadly this will be necessary? It’s shit though I know.

I hope both procedures are successful.

” But what has this got to do with trans people? Why are you all not all outraged about contact with any men in any healthcare (or any other) setting that case? The taxi driver that takes you to the hospital, the male porter that wheels you to the operating room, the male radiographer or sonography, the male anaesthetist, the male surgeon, the male nurses and care assistants, the male domestics, the male students, the male maintenance men, the male visitors… Because they’ve got a DBS? Give over.”

@Piper22 - I imagine the OP won’t spend 24 hours a day for several days lying in a bed next to the male taxi driver…..

Just in case anyone is feeling a bit forgetful.

Piper22, today 20:33

This thread is so transphobic I’m surprised it hasn’t been taken down.

Piper22, also today...

You don’t get to dictate who can post what and to where on a public forum, especially when no guidelines are being broken.

[quote TigerMTV]@Thoosa - you’re right to be concerned and it’s very understandable that you just want to feel -and be - safe. The recent story is really frightening. It seems that logic has left the building, or the NHS at least.

Completely disagree that you should have to pay private to get dignity, privacy and safety!

I agree it’s galling to have to explain why you would like to ensure a penis-free ward when you’re incapacitated, but until there are men/women/unisex areas I think sadly this will be necessary? It’s shit though I know.

I hope both procedures are successful.[/quote]
Thank you 🙏🏻

It is heartening that most posters - and voters - have been kind and supportive.

@Thoosa

I’m sorry your thread has been derailed by some people with an agenda. I think people need to remember now vulnerable it can feel when you’re in hospital. Even if you’re normally confident and able to advocate for yourself, being unwell and in pain in hospital is a whole different ballgame.
Of course YANBU to not want to share a room with a male bodied stranger. It’s bad enough there are shared rooms at all! It isn’t personal against any subset of male bodied human - you deserve dignity. We don’t accept shared sex bays (except in very specific circumstances such as intensive care and A&E etc) because we recognise dignity is vital, so this isn’t any different. Trans people deserve dignity too. They may very well not want to be in a shared bay. The blanket rule of “if you say you’re female / identify as a female then you’re in a female bay” does a disservice to everyone, including trans people and those with fluctuating gender identity issues.

@PurgatoryOfPotholes

Just in case anyone is feeling a bit forgetful.

Piper22, today 20:33

This thread is so transphobic I’m surprised it hasn’t been taken down.

Piper22, also today...

You don’t get to dictate who can post what and to where on a public forum, especially when no guidelines are being broken.

I'd imagine there have been lots of reports of transphobia to try and get the thread taken down too (everything is transphobic as far as I can tell). I don't imagine it'll still be here in the morning. So much for not dictating what and where people can post on a public forum, I suppose it's only allowed for certain opinions.

And when a Muslim woman goes to hospital, and finds that there is a trans woman on their ward, and instead of complaining discharges herself as she can’t be in the same room as a man. Who wins the oppression olympics then, who gets priority to the women’s bay?
And with that, I need to leave this thread, I’m getting really quite angry and it’s not helping the OP.
I wish you the very best for your procedures OP, I hope they go smoothly and without any unwanted incidents.

And thank you to all who expressed sympathy to me, it was a long time ago so I cope fairly well, but it does sometimes raise its ugly head.

Thanks @Mickarooni I complete agree with every word of that.

Best to you too @risefromyourgrave

Fortunately I’m mostly finding him incredibly boring and easy to ignore.

Good! You should not experience a second's self-doubt of yourself or your motivations after those posts. Not a single millisecond.

I do admire your stamina though

Thanks. I bite the heads off chocolate teddy bears in between posts. It seems to help.

Mine was mixed, I didn't care but depends on experience.

Thanks. I bite the heads off chocolate teddy bears in between posts. It seems to help.

@PurgatoryOfPotholes

Fortunately I’m mostly finding him incredibly boring and easy to ignore.

Good! You should not experience a second's self-doubt of yourself or your motivations after those posts. Not a single millisecond.

I do admire your stamina though

Thanks. I bite the heads off chocolate teddy bears in between posts. It seems to help.

@PurgatoryOfPotholes you really shouldn’t sound so smug as all you have demonstrated is your inane ability to post irrelevant articles which have not evidenced any of your points and your hateful vitriol about an already marginalised group of people. Reading many of the comments from posters tonight I’m only ever more relieved that it’s people like me and my similarly non bigoted nursing colleagues who are at the forefront of services in this country. I’ll continue to support both biological and trans women in my professional and in my personal life. Anyway, it’s getting late so I’ll leave you to your chocolate teddies