To seek assurances that I’ll be put on a single sex ward?

[Thoosa]

Not single gender. Single sex.

Im due for one, maybe two, surgeries this year. I’m a DV and rape survivor.

I’m nervous.

@Thoosa they do try. I've never known am all female ward but all wards have female and male bays - so it depends how segregated you feel comfortable with - bays are next to each other and in my decried hospitals, share toilets. I've never seen a mixed bay outside of ED. They can never know who needs admitting. That's the crux. If people are sick, they have to be admitted and that will always be prioritised over every thing else.

[quote StillWeRise]@FelicityBeedle I don't think OP is worried about 'the tiny percentage of women who are trans' as those would be transmen, and so statistically unlikely to pose a threat to her.

OP if it helps you be brave, consider that you are being brave not just for yourself but for other women too who may not be as well informed as you. If you get anything other than a full assurance from the hospital I'd reply citing stories such as the one quoted here, and copy in the local newspaper and MP[/quote]
Oh yes of course, you’re quite right. People with penises who I don’t know are the potential threat. So men who are trans.

This shouldn’t matter either, but I have impaired mobility. So maybe I stand a better chance than most women do, if I’m prepared to recount all my most personal information and painful stuff, and ask very nicely. Thinking that it’s not just for me helps. Good way to look at it.

The percentage of women who are trans

You mean males, I presume. Rather than women who identify as men. It needs to be clarified that this isn't a prejudice against women who are trans, it's a need for a single sex space.

There aren’t enough side rooms to cope clinical need (patients who are infected, patients who need protecting from infection, patients who are dying). It’s unlikely you will get one on request.
In my whole 20 year nursing career I have nursed one trans patient. As mentioned above the problem here is rapists not transwomen.
Surgical wards tend to be single sex if that’s reassuring.

I think the biggest favour you can do yourself in the run-up to surgery is to avoid reading scaremongering stories online and in the media about trans people. These stories are designed to play on your fears and scare you, they don't reflect reality. You are vanishingly unlikely to encounter a trans person in hospital and they will not harm you if you do.

But rapists are men and you are worried about sharing a ward with a biological male ( regardless how they identify) you should absolutely feel safe and protected

Rapists used to be men. That seems contested now. But yes I agree.

Same as PP’s point about “tiny numbers” of people being trans. Tiny numbers of men are rapists. That didn’t stop a rapist finding me and raping me.

I’m getting angry and incoherent now. I’ll be back when I’ve done something calming for a while.

Thanks all.

Do be careful Thoosa because another woman did this and ended up being used in a training session as an example of "transphobia" without her consent.

www.brightonandhovenews.org/2019/12/09/hospital-apologises-to-rape-victim-for-branding-her-request-for-same-sex-breast-screening-medic-as-transphobic/

Wow, how naive can you get? I can tell you now that it's not 'trans' people she's worried about. It's men. And an astonishingly high number of them will hurt women given the chance. I seem to have unfortunately encountered more than my fair share. You are crazy if you think that none of those awful men will use loopholes to access women. It's the entire reason we have safeguarding procedures, such as single sex spaces, in place. Women shouldn't have to just cross their fingers and hope for the best ffs

[quote Ereshkigalangcleg]Do be careful Thoosa because another woman did this and ended up being used in a training session as an example of "transphobia" without her consent.

www.brightonandhovenews.org/2019/12/09/hospital-apologises-to-rape-victim-for-branding-her-request-for-same-sex-breast-screening-medic-as-transphobic/[/quote]
Oh Christ.

Thanks. I’ll come back and read it in a bit.

What is striking me is that claiming a trans identity is a great 'get out of jail free card' for nefarious males?

It enables them to get win at women's sport and enables them to get access to women who are at their most vulnerable.

And any women who reasonably questions this is a bigot.

Kathleen Stock, as quoted after the hospital's mealy mouthed apology which implies such requests are like racism:

She said: “It’s good that the Brighton and Sussex University Hospital Trust have taken down private patient correspondence, including from a rape survivor, though they should never had it up there in the first place.
“If a female rape survivor consents only to see a female clinician, then this is not an example of discrimination, but a reasonable thing to want in light of her history, and it’s appalling that the trust still doesn’t seem to understand this.
“They talk in their response of ‘diversity and Inclusion’ but it seems they are not interested in thinking about the particular needs of rape survivors in this case.”

I’ve had two week long stays in hospital over the last few years and always in a mixed sex ward I’m sorry OP. I had to walk past men to get to the bathroom it was really rubbish.

What I got deleted for calling someone an idiot when they were trying to recast my fear of rape as a fear of trans? Seriously @MNHQ ??

I just can’t believe people think this is a trans issue. It’s really not.

@SevenWaystoLeave

I think the biggest favour you can do yourself in the run-up to surgery is to avoid reading scaremongering stories online and in the media about trans people. These stories are designed to play on your fears and scare you, they don't reflect reality. You are vanishingly unlikely to encounter a trans person in hospital and they will not harm you if you do.

I know you didn't like this answer, but it's true. Trans people are a tiny percentage of the population. In hospitals, where most patients are elderly, it will be even smaller. A PP above said in 20 years of nursing she's met 1 trans patient. And even if you do happen to be there on the one day in 20 years where there's a trans person there, the chances they'll attack you are even smaller.

The hospital are very unlikely to be able to give you the assurances you want, so, in practical terms, switching off the news for a while is likely to be the most helpful thing you can do.

@Thoosa

What I got deleted for calling someone an idiot when they were trying to recast my fear of rape as a fear of trans? Seriously *@MNHQ* ??

Agree, @mnhq that’s not ok surely

Okay. Going for a drive now.

@Siepie if that's the case then why does Baroness Nicholson mention that she personally knows of 6 or 7 cases (twitter.com/Baroness_Nichol/status/1504884038137491461) and that is just the reported cases. We all know that many many rapes or sexual assaults don't get reported to anyone.

And even if you do happen to be there on the one day in 20 years where there's a trans person there, the chances they'll attack you are even smaller.

Again, this isn't about "trans" it's about males. Single sex.

It's a safeguarding issue not a trans issue surely?

Because, I was always led to believe that the reason for transition is gender dysmorphia (sp?) And that meant that you had corrective surgery and if you were born male had your penis removed and changed therfore transgender women cannot rape as legally rape is defined using a penis so it cannot possibly be a trans issue because trans women don't have a penis

So how has it happened? How has a person with a penis managed to be on a ward full of women rape one and get away with it?

I'm not understanding

The point is biological males should never be in places where women can be vulnerable. If it's a single sex place for women, any male including trans women should not be there. OP you are right to question it, as a rape survivor I wouldn't be happy with a man in a space I'm meant to be safe in.

I know you didn't like this answer, but it's true. Trans people are a tiny percentage of the population. In hospitals, where most patients are elderly, it will be even smaller. A PP above said in 20 years of nursing she's met 1 trans patient. And even if you do happen to be there on the one day in 20 years where there's a trans person there, the chances they'll attack you are even smaller.

The hospital are very unlikely to be able to give you the assurances you want, so, in practical terms, switching off the news for a while is likely to be the most helpful thing you can do.

Research into the matter indicates that in places like the UK, only ten per cent of men are committing all the rapes.

Yet all these rapists have a disproportionately large impact upon the female population. Has anyone found evidence indicating that the subset of males who transition have a lower percentage of rapists?

Personally, I don't really care if only 1% of a given subset of males are rapists - I don't want them to be given access to me either.

Hi Op, sorry to hear of your history and need for surgery, I hope everything goes well and you are ok.

I can't speak for all hospitals but for the 5 I've worked in all our wards are mixed wards (unless a Gynae specific ward in some instances) but the bays (as in the smaller rooms of 4-8 beds) are always single sex in my experience. Only exceptions would be ICU, POCU, CCU because it's 1:1/1:2 staffing to patient levels.

I'm my experience you could request a side room which is usually a single room with 1 bed in, some have en-suites but not all. But you wouldn't be guaranteed this necessarily as they're usually reserved for infection risks. However we do use them for people with safe guarding concerns or issues being in the full bay. You could explore this option through Pals and ask them to speak to the booking team/bed manager to try and arrange.

You wouldn't be told if you were sharing with a trans woman (previously known as a man) as that would be confidential. I understand your fears absolutely (and know it's not from a place of transphobia) best thing to do is to discuss with PALS or your consultant.

I hope that helps!
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