35 and denied alcohol

[antisocialsocialclub]

Bit of a light hearted one but I am actually annoyed.

Also this isn’t a stealth boast or humble brag at all, because I didn’t come out of this feeling in any way flattered or superior 🤣

I’m 35. I’d like to set the scene by saying I look my age, maybe on a good day I look 30. No way do I look like I’m in my 20s. I definitely look old enough to drink. I have several fine lines and the face a woman of my age has just from existing.

Having a few friends around tonight so just popped out to the shop to get some snacks and a bit of alcohol. I went with DH.

We were at the conveyor belt and the cashier was putting the food through. Then she paused at the alcohol. She looked at DH and then at me and said to me “do you have ID?” I just laughed then realised she was serious. I said I had nothing on me, DH showed his but the cashier said ‘sorry I can’t serve you as I can’t be sure you won’t give the alcohol to points at me’

I laughed and said ‘I’m 35!’ but she wouldn’t budge. I considered asking for the manager but wimped out. Didn’t fancy making a scene for the same outcome.

To cut a long story short, DH had to leave the alcohol because his ‘child bride’ 🤣 left her wallet at home. I actually felt a bit awkward that she thought my 42 year old DH (greying hair and all) was with an under 25 year old. Or did she think I was some street child forcing DH to buy me booze 😊

I know cashiers need to check, I know it’s the law and it’s hard for them etc etc but 1. wow, if she thought I was under 25 I must have had a hard life and 2. I just don’t understand the logic in this situation.

DH was buying the alcohol I was just gormlessly stood with him. What if a parent goes shopping with their underage child and wants to buy a bottle of wine? What they’re saying is you can’t buy alcohol unless everyone accompanying you has ID to confirm legal age?!

I think it’s madness. AIBU?

Also DH has just popped to another shop to get it and I decided I’d stay in the car like a naughty dog 😭 I’m 35!

@melj1213

In your case though it clearly seems a bit overkill in this instance. I probably would have asked for a manager and asked them to explain the rationale.

And if that manager was a decent one then they would have supported their staff and reiterated that it is store policy to apply "Challenge 25" and once a staff member has asked for ID it cannot be sold until the staff have seen your ID and nobody can overrule the staff member as it is the person who sells it who is personally liable for thousands of pounds in fines and potential imprisonment.

It sucks when you're stopped from buying things because they're age restricted but as a checkout operator it sucks for us because we are just doing our jobs by asking and we are the ones personally liable if we fail a test purchase so some people will be overzealous to cover themselves (or may have just failed a test purchase so are being overly cautious). I have been in disciplinary meetings where people have lost their jobs over Challenge 25 failures - a couple of months ago someone in my store failed a test purchase and it was a Trading Standards test purchase so he was given an official caution, a £1k fine (which he had to personally pay, the company can't pay it for you) and he just barely kept his job.

I'm 32 and definitely look it, I was buying a new stiff broom to sweep our outside courtyard and was IDed because it had a blade on the side (which I hadn't even noticed, I just picked up the first outdoor broom I saw) and so had flagged on the till as a "bladed item". I had just come from work so didn't have my ID (I only carry a card wallet with my work access card, discount card and debit card when I go to work). As soon as I said I didn't have my ID I could see the cashier preparing to have to explain and she visibly relaxed as soon as I waved her away with "Don't worry, I work in a supermarket I know the rules. Am I OK to nip back and switch this broom for a different one as I didn't even realise it had a blade and I don't need it?"

But Challenge 25 applies to the person BUYING the alcohol. There is nothing in its guidance that refers to the person/people accompanying them. I'm not aware of any clear guidance stating what shop staff should do if they suspect a person who they don't feel the need to challenge because they are clearly over 25 is buying alcohol for someone else with them who may be under (as is what happened in OPs case). I suspect this is probably because there isn't any, and it's left up to staff's discretion which is why I think it would be appropriate to ask for a manager.

I'm all for managers supporting their staff if they are following guidance/regulation appropriately. But if there is a possibility they have either misinterpreted it or are just being a bit heavy handed/jobsworth then it's worth asking for their decision to be reviewed by someone more senior. Asking for the manager doesn't mean screaming and shouting, I would have done it very politely! If said manager then told me "Yes the cashier is right, although there's no legal restriction or national policy about it our internal store guidance is that we don't sell alcohol to anyone who either looks under 25 or is accompanied by someone under 25" I would think "fair enough, it seems like a ridiculous policy to me but if that's what they are following, that's what they are doing."

However if the manager came and said it was at the cashier's discretion (which I assume will be the case as otherwise nobody shopping with children would ever be able to buy alcohol), then I would ask if they felt the discretion was appropriate in this instance. I'm assuming she doesn't refuse to sell alcohol to every person shopping with a child, so there must have been a reason to say no to OP's DH - which is where the discretion comes in, which can be reviewed.

I've been in the position where I've had to ask for ID for alcohol (cinema I worked in briefly decided we had to ID everyone, no matter their age) and I agree it sucks but I would rather annoy someone than lose my job/be fined. But that's for the person BUYING the alcohol. It would be almost impossible to be successfully prosecuted on the basis that the person you sold it to might then give the age restricted item to someone else, because the prosecutor would somehow have to demonstrate you were aware of the undeclared intent of a 3rd party.

So in cases like OPs I do think the cashier sounds a bit ridiculous/overzealous because the chance that they would have got into trouble for selling alcohol to a man who was clearly (and in her view) OVER 25 just because he happened to be accompanied by someone who might have been younger was close to zero.

Are you short?

When I was younger I rarely got ID’d when I was alone, but always did when I was with other people, even when I was pretty obviously (in my eyes) well past 25. I’m 5ft tall and I’m convinced that’s why.

My husband was in his early thirties when he went to the shop with our 13 year old dd in tow (who's quite tall so could pass for 15 at a push) tried to buy some beers but he got id, showed his id then they refused to serve him in case he was buying it for our daughter!! Not sure what self respecting teen is drinking real ales 😂😂

Smile, take it as a compliment and move on

Which bit of being 60 and being asked for ID is a compliment? I don't expect to have to carry round id at my age, it's ridiculous.

I once got refused strepsils in the local budgens because I turned to my 12yr old and asked him which flavour he wanted. Strepsils are for anyone over the age of 6.

Supermarkets just need to train their staff properly

There is a period during which you can't take any family member between the ages of about 12 and 23 with you to do the shopping if you intend to buy any alcohol. They won't sell it to you because you might be buying it for the young person. It has happened to me and to several of my friends. Really annoying if you just want a bottle of wine for a gift, or a dinner invite.

@HikingforScenery

Someone close to me had to go back and get a wallet to show ID for ‘challenge 25’ to buy non-alchoholic beer. They’re pretty close to 50.

I got ID'd once for grenadine. It's literally just syrup. The woman in Asda asked me what it was because there was no suggestion on the bottle.

I can only assume it's because it's used in cocktails. Madness.

Don't agree with the look 25 age policy

Don't agree need age verification for energy drinks with zero alcohol

But it's OK to join the armed forces at 18

I'd never been ID ever (even when i was underage) but last year during lockdown and wearing face masks, I had to pull my mask down about 4 times to buy alcohol. The bottom half of my face is clearly older than my top half. I'm 51!

@endofthelinefinally

There is a period during which you can't take any family member between the ages of about 12 and 23 with you to do the shopping if you intend to buy any alcohol. They won't sell it to you because you might be buying it for the young person. It has happened to me and to several of my friends. Really annoying if you just want a bottle of wine for a gift, or a dinner invite.

Yes that's ridiculous. My then 19 year old niece unloaded some of my shopping including a bottle of wine. Because she didn't have id, I wasn't allowed to buy it. So now when I go shopping with my kids they know not to touch the wine.

Well a few weeks ago I got ID'd in Morrisons.. for a non alcoholic mocktail can. I am 31 and also 30 weeks pregnant. Give me strength!!

@ihatesoaps

My 18 year old son is always ID'ed. He has no form of ID other than a passport....and I don't like him taking it out with him when he goes out with his mates (who are all 18) When he was at school he had no educational ID/ NUS card, doesn't drive so has no driving licence, and he has a beard.... He looks the oldest of all his mates - in fact he IS the oldest! Pubs locally also won't take a citizen card as too many variants and fakes on the market....

I feel so sorry for him as it's really hard!

why doesn't he apply for a provisional driving licence. would that be acceptable ID ? how does he open a bank account ?

[quote FloBot7]For those who have no ID because they can't or don't drive, you can buy a PASS card from the post office for £15.

www.postoffice.co.uk/identity/pass-card[/quote]
that's v useful to know. thank you.

Amazon are another who take it too far. The driver if delivering drink, knives, vapes etc have to ask
for photo ID regardless, my uncle who is 76(clearly not Benjamin Button) had to dig out his passport to accept some wine. No common sense allowed, they must ID everyone!

@OnaBegonia

Amazon are another who take it too far. The driver if delivering drink, knives, vapes etc have to ask for photo ID regardless, my uncle who is 76(clearly not Benjamin Button) had to dig out his passport to accept some wine. No common sense allowed, they must ID everyone!

As a shop worker, I think this is the best approach.

It leaves no room for doubt, no offending people because you did or didn't ID them (I've had both!). Just a straightforward policy of ID is required in order to buy age restricted products.

@OnaBegonia

Amazon are another who take it too far. The driver if delivering drink, knives, vapes etc have to ask for photo ID regardless, my uncle who is 76(clearly not Benjamin Button) had to dig out his passport to accept some wine. No common sense allowed, they must ID everyone!

Most Amazon drivers do completely adhoc, self-employed work. It's the best way to protect everyone.

You think asking a clearly over 70 yr old for ID is a good use of someone's time? The person is clearly not under 25 😄 I think it's laughable.

The fact is that a. The server (likely on minimum wage) is at risk of being fined personally if you are a secret shopper and b. The manager must uphold the cashiers request for ID and therefore that would have been a pointless route to go down anyway.

@OnaBegonia

You think asking a clearly over 70 yr old for ID is a good use of someone's time? The person is clearly not under 25 😄 I think it's laughable.

They take a photo of it though don't they to protect themselves and prove delivery?

I genuinely think some staff don't understand that the legal age for buying alcohol is 18. They brought in the 25/30 rule because it is difficult for older people to tell the age of younger people. But I've had staff agree that I don't look under 18 but, pointing furiously at their badge, I do look under 30 and so they can't serve me. This has only happened in village shops.

@OnaBegonia

You think asking a clearly over 70 yr old for ID is a good use of someone's time? The person is clearly not under 25 😄 I think it's laughable.

I totally agree that it's a waste of time.

But IDing someone that I know is 22 is also a waste of time and I have to do that too.

Getting rid of the 25 cut off for IDing people means that everyone buying age restricted products are treated exactly the same, and everyone will know that they need to take their ID. Therefore getting rid of any grey areas and making everyone's job easier.

When I was 27 I got asked for ID at sainsburys for buying ibuprofen. I had no ID as I was just popping in. The lady serving me told me I need to be 16 to buy it and anyone looking under 18 gets ID’d. I was like wtf? Do 16 year olds even have ID 😂 . I had to walk out empty handed and feeling stupid . That was 10 years ago .

The majority of teenagers in Scotland have ID, in the form of a Young Scot card (which is acceptable as proof of age, as well as getting them discounts and free bus travel).

I don't know the situation elsewhere.

It leaves no room for doubt, no offending people because you did or didn't ID them (I've had both!). Just a straightforward policy of ID is required in order to buy age restricted products.

Except that there are people who have neither a passport nor a driving licence. Forcing anyone clearly over legal age to have one to be able to buy things is ridiculous. When did we start being so afraid of things we stopped using common sense. IDing pensioners for products? What nonsense.

But IDing someone that I know is 22 is also a waste of time and I have to do that too.

That is a misapplication of the policy. The challenge is for anyone you you don’t think is over 25. If you know their age, IDing them is pointless.

@OnaBegonia

Amazon are another who take it too far. The driver if delivering drink, knives, vapes etc have to ask for photo ID regardless, my uncle who is 76(clearly not Benjamin Button) had to dig out his passport to accept some wine. No common sense allowed, they must ID everyone!

I'm clearly over 25 but the Amazon delivery driver refused to give me the bottle of wine I'd bought and paid for. It's all very well saying it covers him, but that item has been paid for by me and him taking it back to his van saying 'no ID no wine' is essentially stealing my goods. I got him back and asked him to call someone in charge, who told him to exercise common sense. It's OBVIOUS when someone is clearly in their forties. If Amazon are going to be pulling stunts like this then they need to ID people BEFORE they allow the purchase to go through not refuse to give them the item at the door! It's just ridiculous. I am blatantly not under 25 and it's not 'flattering' it's bloody annoying.