35 and denied alcohol

[antisocialsocialclub]

Bit of a light hearted one but I am actually annoyed.

Also this isn’t a stealth boast or humble brag at all, because I didn’t come out of this feeling in any way flattered or superior 🤣

I’m 35. I’d like to set the scene by saying I look my age, maybe on a good day I look 30. No way do I look like I’m in my 20s. I definitely look old enough to drink. I have several fine lines and the face a woman of my age has just from existing.

Having a few friends around tonight so just popped out to the shop to get some snacks and a bit of alcohol. I went with DH.

We were at the conveyor belt and the cashier was putting the food through. Then she paused at the alcohol. She looked at DH and then at me and said to me “do you have ID?” I just laughed then realised she was serious. I said I had nothing on me, DH showed his but the cashier said ‘sorry I can’t serve you as I can’t be sure you won’t give the alcohol to points at me’

I laughed and said ‘I’m 35!’ but she wouldn’t budge. I considered asking for the manager but wimped out. Didn’t fancy making a scene for the same outcome.

To cut a long story short, DH had to leave the alcohol because his ‘child bride’ 🤣 left her wallet at home. I actually felt a bit awkward that she thought my 42 year old DH (greying hair and all) was with an under 25 year old. Or did she think I was some street child forcing DH to buy me booze 😊

I know cashiers need to check, I know it’s the law and it’s hard for them etc etc but 1. wow, if she thought I was under 25 I must have had a hard life and 2. I just don’t understand the logic in this situation.

DH was buying the alcohol I was just gormlessly stood with him. What if a parent goes shopping with their underage child and wants to buy a bottle of wine? What they’re saying is you can’t buy alcohol unless everyone accompanying you has ID to confirm legal age?!

I think it’s madness. AIBU?

Also DH has just popped to another shop to get it and I decided I’d stay in the car like a naughty dog 😭 I’m 35!

Apologies @Floydthebarber, I am not always good at seeing if someone is being funny from the written word alone. It's an aspie thing.

How tall are you? I'm 5ft 2 and I think it influences the chance of being asked for ID. I'm 33 and a smoker so definitely don't look under 18 but unless I'm with my DH I still get asked for ID at the local Tesco and in bars. Never been in a situation where they ask me for ID with him though. That's quite odd to me.

I agree with you OP. I sympathise with the shop staff because I can't imagine there is very clear guidance for them to follow in relation to people being accompanied by possible minors they may possibly be buying for - e.g. if an adult is with a 10 year old presumably it's ok to sell to them but if it's a 13 year old it's not? If they are buying a nice port does that raise fewer alarms than a load of wkds?

In your case though it clearly seems a bit overkill in this instance. I probably would have asked for a manager and asked them to explain the rationale.

My partner works in a supermarket he id someone the other day they were chuffed he admitted he had hardly looked at them when he did it was obvious they were over age. Its actually quite difficult when working on a checkout you glance up worried u will get it wrong ask for id and almost immediately realise you made a misrake.

I am 32 and pregnant.

I was refused the sale of 0% wine because I had no ID.

World's gone bananas.

@girlmom21

This is Britain etc etc. We don't carry ID!

You don't carry your driving license in your purse?

Not when you don't drive due to disability, you don't.

I am 5 feet 0 in my stockinged feet! Got ID at 36 and asked for proof of age to buy a knife set!

I got asked for ID when I had a mask on. I pulled it down and the cashier just went ‘oh yeah, you’re alright’

@wecouldbespearows oh I know, but I still found it funny that we left the shop feeling like two naughty children

In your case though it clearly seems a bit overkill in this instance. I probably would have asked for a manager and asked them to explain the rationale.

And if that manager was a decent one then they would have supported their staff and reiterated that it is store policy to apply "Challenge 25" and once a staff member has asked for ID it cannot be sold until the staff have seen your ID and nobody can overrule the staff member as it is the person who sells it who is personally liable for thousands of pounds in fines and potential imprisonment.

It sucks when you're stopped from buying things because they're age restricted but as a checkout operator it sucks for us because we are just doing our jobs by asking and we are the ones personally liable if we fail a test purchase so some people will be overzealous to cover themselves (or may have just failed a test purchase so are being overly cautious). I have been in disciplinary meetings where people have lost their jobs over Challenge 25 failures - a couple of months ago someone in my store failed a test purchase and it was a Trading Standards test purchase so he was given an official caution, a £1k fine (which he had to personally pay, the company can't pay it for you) and he just barely kept his job.

I'm 32 and definitely look it, I was buying a new stiff broom to sweep our outside courtyard and was IDed because it had a blade on the side (which I hadn't even noticed, I just picked up the first outdoor broom I saw) and so had flagged on the till as a "bladed item". I had just come from work so didn't have my ID (I only carry a card wallet with my work access card, discount card and debit card when I go to work). As soon as I said I didn't have my ID I could see the cashier preparing to have to explain and she visibly relaxed as soon as I waved her away with "Don't worry, I work in a supermarket I know the rules. Am I OK to nip back and switch this broom for a different one as I didn't even realise it had a blade and I don't need it?"

Similar situation, me and DH were doing the big weekly shop that included alcohol. At the time we were late 20s. I didn’t have my ID, DH did and he was the one paying for it all. But they still wouldn’t serve us the alcohol. I questioned the cashier for ages, asking her where she personally draws the line, could DH have bought alcohol with a 1 year old? 10 year old? Does this mean she doesn’t serve alcohol to families doing the big shop with their teens? She couldn’t answer any of it. Utterly ridiculous.

I've been ID'd pretty much every time I have bought alcohol or tobacco (or razors/glue/lighters/paracetamol in the past) in my life, and I thought it would have stopped by now. I'm 37 and don't smoke or drink much at all, but my almost teetotal DH asked me to get him some rum a couple of months ago. I went to Sainsbury's with my 5yo and got ID'd and in the end I was refused because I didn't have any ID on me. I was a bit weirded out because I had DC with me and the person serving me was around 20 so surely must know that I looked way older than 25. But apparently once they ask for ID and if you don't have one, they aren't allowed to sell you the alcohol so it's not their fault they had to refuse. I wasn't bothered, but it just felt a bit surreal that I'm still being ID'd.

I was asked for my date of birth by a cashier in a Tesco express last week. I laughed because I'm in my forties and whilst I scrub up ok I'm clearly not 25!! Turns out she was serious, and she annoyed that I wouldn't give her my date of birth (I don't drive or have a passport so no ID). She called for her manager who took one look at me and said 'she's new..' and served me. He turned to her and said she needed to exercise some common sense, then said 'no offence!' to me 😂

I was denied red bull at age 35 and I laughed as I thought the woman was joking.
I too don't look bad for my age but I definitely do not look too young to buy red bull.
My skin isn't bad at all but I have very bistable grey roots!

Until you have actually had the joys of working in a supermarket and having to check ID, you have no idea, most staff now wear earphones so got constant background noise to contend with, messages flashing up on checkout screen, and so easy when rushing to just glance quickly and not even really see the customer, l have done it myself many times then on a double take you realise your mistake, staff are under enormous pressure, working with huge amount of customers constantly is very draining and you are read the riot act as to being dismissed and store losing licence to sell alcohol. I know a lot of staff who refuse to work on checkouts and self scan because of the hassle of having to ID hundreds of customers per shift.

@bleachblondemom

Similar situation, me and DH were doing the big weekly shop that included alcohol. At the time we were late 20s. I didn’t have my ID, DH did and he was the one paying for it all. But they still wouldn’t serve us the alcohol. I questioned the cashier for ages, asking her where she personally draws the line, could DH have bought alcohol with a 1 year old? 10 year old? Does this mean she doesn’t serve alcohol to families doing the big shop with their teens? She couldn’t answer any of it. Utterly ridiculous.

You questioned her for ages while she was just trying to do her job to the best of her ability and abiding to the store's policies? She doesn't make the rules.

Don't you sound lovely.

The whole thing makes no sense. It's legal for my seventeen-year-old to drink wine, beer or cider with a meal in a pub or restaurant. But it's illegal for me to buy alcohol for them. So how do they get the drink?!
www.gov.uk/alcohol-young-people-law

Not being allowed to buy alcohol with you have an older child with you definitely happens. There have been loads of threads about it. I have taken to sending DS12 to the car before heading to checkouts if there is booze in the trolley.

I had this exact thing happen, except we also had non alcoholic wine as well and the cashier wouldn't let us get that either.

It's called challenge 25 but it's more like challenge 60.

@Casheeeew

I had this exact thing happen, except we also had non alcoholic wine as well and the cashier wouldn't let us get that either.

It's called challenge 25 but it's more like challenge 60.

Yup. Low/0%* alcohol products are often subject to the same policies by retailers, because they are marketed to adults as a substitute.

I had a woman bitch at me because she couldn't buy 0% alcohol before 10am. (I'm in Scotland, licensing hours are 10am to 10pm). The till literally won't let me. There is absolutely nothing I can do

*Many 0% products contain a very small percentage of alcohol

@BuanoKubiamVej

Not being allowed to buy alcohol with you have an older child with you definitely happens. There have been loads of threads about it. I have taken to sending DS12 to the car before heading to checkouts if there is booze in the trolley.

I haven't seen anyone say it doesn't happen. I'm sure different retailers have differing policies and training.

I can only speak for the retailer I work for, where we are told in the training that we can sell to parent and child/teenager/young person, and we don't need to I.D. the young person.

And I'm sure even then, sometimes people get it wrong. We are not perfect. We are just trying to do our job.

@Casheeeew

I had this exact thing happen, except we also had non alcoholic wine as well and the cashier wouldn't let us get that either.

It's called challenge 25 but it's more like challenge 60.

If its anything like my store, non-alcohol wine and beer still has an age prompt on the till as they still have small traces of alcohol in (I can't remember the exact % but as long as it is below a certain % then it can be classed as non-alcoholic) so falls under the same rules of no ID, no sale as it is still an age restricted product.

Also, the store I work in basically has everything that is in the beer, wines and spirits section automatically coded to age prompt on the tills. It's to make it easier for staff so the admin team don't have to worry about manually adding new lines/updated barcodes/promo items etc to the age prompt list and risk missing one and have someone underage go through a self scan and complete their purchase without being age checked. Instead as soon as it is booked into the store as being in the BWS department then it automatically adds the age prompt to the item in the store listing.

Dh and u have alcohol licences. Once that question is asked we have to have Id before we can sell. Pub trade. Once asked we cannot go back on it.

It drives me nuts and to be honest I think it's pushing kids towards harder drugs which are easier to get than a bottle of white lightening.

On a side note my BIL worked as a bouncer at an upmarket club, they were disciplined if they asked for ID on a person over 21 and the person could produce it. They never failed a test purchase.

I also call out all those saying it's about test purchases and fines, test purchasers aren't allowed to lie about their age so it would be easy to say, How old are you?