Live in partner expects assurance of interest in my property

[joboy2]

My recent female partner would like to move in to my property. I'm 67. She is 69. Until now, I had expected to date a partner with her own property, meaning we would live separately but regularly stay over in each others property. My partner has no property. My main worry is that I have always intended to pass my house on after my death, in its entirety, to my single mother daughter. As I understand it, if my partner moves in and contributes anything in terms of work, money, even decoration, she could, on my demise, declare a financial interest in my house, allowing her to occupy it. I have discussed this matter with her, and been blunt or rather frank and honest as to my intentions. Both she, and her friends seem appalled that I will not consider passing on an interest in my home upon my demise. I have pointed out that if the sexes were reversed, they might take a less charitable position regarding a relatively elderly male expecting an interest in his partners house, indeed they might think he was taking advantage. The upshot is, that I have insisted that some sort of legally binding document be drawn up between us stating my position quite clearly before any move by my partner. The only other options being that we break up over this issue, or we carry on as we are and she continue to live in her own rented accommodation. I wonder what other readers might think, or indeed what advice they might offer. Joboy.

You're not unreasonable. Though your girlfriend doesn't own a property, I presume she is comfortable where she lives. If she wants to live with you and you don't want that, maybe she is not the right person for you. Plenty of couples enjoy time together without either moving in with the other, in fact they wouldn't have it any other way.

Don't let her move in if you don't want a live in partner

Make your will and be clear that you are not making provision for the gold digger as she is a new friend and already provided for.

Ask your solicitor to store the Will.

Otherwise I suspect your daughter might find it's disappeared after you die....

I would suggest googling your partner for bankruptcy too

It’s certainly not something a recent partner should be expecting, regardless of sex.

I don’t think that is right about financial interest. It’s fairly well known that there are no such things as ‘common law’ rights. It’s up to you who you leave your assets to, unless its really unreasonable (for example a will can be challenged if someone was financially dependent previous to death, but is not provided for in a will. That’s often children, or vulnerable people. I don’t whether an adult would be able to challenge a will just because they live in the house, especially when they had the independent means to live in rental before)

You should most definitely discuss this with your solicitor. There are options though. It’s fairly common for a person to leave their house to their child/ren but with a life interest for their partner. This means their partner can live in the property for the duration of their lives, but it is owned by child/ren (although they cannot sell it unless the partners needs change, in which case comparable suitable accommodation must be purchased)

And don't marry this woman

Even if she says she's dying

@FuckThatBullshit

She's a shameless grabby freeloader. Women like her give so many of us a bad name. Get rid.

I dont think it's quite as simple as that actually. Nobody knows what the future may bring and the idea of a woman moving in, picking up the role of cook/cleaner/carer and then being left homeless in her 80s doesnt sit right either.

Of course that might not happen in this case. The OP may insist on doing his fair share round the house, may love cooking, may never need care or his daughter may step up and provide it if he does. But both parties need to take care of their interests at this point. And that might mean not living together.

She's after being supported and making herself comfortable at your expense then having your home.
I would kick this into touch..find someone who is not after your money.🌈

Of course she doesn't deserve your house, she doesn't even live there yet and she's already making it a issue. Sorry this would be a deal breaker for me.

Simple qn. Do you want her to live with you? Sounds like you don't. So that's the answer.

[quote Thelittleweasel]@joboy2

Please please see a solicitor. You can make arrangements through a will for instance a "life interest" in property and reverting to someone else on partner's death. This is not a DIY matter and you need to get [expensive?] advice![/quote]
Absolutely. The Sideways Disinheritance Trap is a very real thing, which could see your daughter receive absolutely nothing if you remarry (anyone, not just this woman) and die first without setting up some very specific provisions (such as a lifetime interest trust)

Yanbu and you know this which is a relief. I'd want my daughter to inherit too.

She sounds very grabby and she’s trying to take advantage of you. Of course her friends are on her side, they’re not bothered about you, only her.
I wouldn’t be letting her move in ever.

you need to see a solicitor and write a will leaving your DD everything you want her to have (including your property) and make sure she and your solicitor keep copies. don't give them to your current partner.

i would be very wary about allowing a partner move in at your age. not only do you have to consider inheritance arrangements, you'd have to consider personal care costs etc, should either of you become incapacitated.

you have your home, which could be sold to provide finances for your care - what does she have?

harsh, i know, and a difficult conversation to be had - but you need to be realistic.

Even if you say no now...you'll be in for a campaign lasting years on the topic. She will try to wear you down over time.

There will be the full 'how could you do this to me?', 'I thought you loved me?', 'this is so unfair' etc. Seen it happen in my family.

Just don't move in together.

@Hellorhighwater depends on jurisdiction but it's separate from the 'common law' fallacy. It might have been superseded by the 1975 Statute for England but this includes -
The classes of applicant who may bring a claim is defined under the Act, and includes:

the spouse or civil partner of the deceased
the former spouse or civil partner of the deceased (as long as that person has not remarried/entered into a subsequent civil partnership)
a person who, for the two years prior to the death, was living with the deceased as if they were a spouse or civil partner
a child of the deceased
a person who was treated as a child of the family by the deceased
any other person who was being maintained, wholly or partly, by the deceased immediately prior to their death.

So under her plan, she gets to move in and save in the basis she doesn't have to pay rent and in addition to that wants an interest in the property!!! Um.....gold digger!

If you do let her move in, she seems the type that will create a whole of difficulty for your daughter when it comes to her being told to leave.

I wouldn't entertain this. It's a very different situation if you had been living together long term and she had been contributing financially.

@EvilPea

There’s red flags everywhere, you’ve practically got bunting.

However, should you wish, you can have it drawn up so she can stay until her death but it’s still left to your daughter. Your girlfriend never owns it - so it wouldn’t be taken off her for care etc, just has a right to stay until her death. That obviously delays your daughters inheritance though.

But she doesn’t sound entirely trustworthy so I wouldn’t move her in.

I have known this to be done, but it was a GM who married a very old friend when they were both already around 80. He outlived her only by a couple of years.,

In the OP’s case I wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot bog brush. The woman could live for another 30 years.

Before my mother re-married , she gave her house to me and my DBS . All done legally and with her new DH blessing . She died a few years later and we allowed the widower to live there till he died but we didn't have to .would that be an option for you ?

Sex is irrelevant. A partner who doesn't want to be left homeless in old age is not being unreasonable - they need to protect their interests just as the partner with the asset does.

I would not give up my home to move in with a partner whose death would leave me on the streets. Its possible to leave the property to children whilst affording protection to a partner for a period of time - either lifetime or a sensible timeline to find accommodation. If she is putting money into your home over a period of years its not unreasonable to have some interest in it.

Frankly it doesn't sound as if its a good idea for her to move in with you knowing that at any point she could be made homeless and have to find somewhere to live at short notice. She is better off staying put, as are you.

You can gift your property to your daughter now. In 7 years it will no longer be part of your estate. You can draw up a binding agreement that your property will remain your home until you die or become incapable of living independently. This protects you if you have to go into a nursing home too. I would also advise giving your daughter a power of attorney, your solicitor can advise you on all of this. I would also ask for advice on any adverse implications of having someone else living with you

You don’t even seem to want her to move in, so it’s really not clear why anyone would suggest that she should have an interest in the property.

If you had met her 20-30 years earlier and you had jointly decided to live together, she might have a point, but it sounds as though her main interest is in your house.

Avoid.

You are being entirely sensible. At your stage in life, combining finances makes no sense. Your girlfriend is capable of taking care of herself and is not making any sacrifices in terms of child rearing that need to be accommodated for financially. Your priority should be your legacy for your child.

@tkwal if in England then there might be some complications. Might need to pay a market rent to prevent it being seen for what it is and LA have reasonably strong legal powers to unwind if care home fees might be avoided.

This is why my dad never remarried or lived with someone after my mum died when he was in his 50s (I was still a child though).

One word though, unless you are very wealthy, help your daughter out now rather than plan to leave it all after your death. My dad scrimped and saved to be able to leave me an inheritance - saw me struggle in my life but wouldn’t help as it was all to be saved for me after he died.

He’s ended up in a care home and everything he saved for, his house and savings are only just over the two years he needs to prove he has for self funding for the home he’s in, there will be nothing left. It’s caused him great distress knowing that.

Even with the paperwork from a solicitor she can still claim against your estate or in practical terms she may just refuse to move out.

I don’t understand why she wants to move in at all. I’m her age and if I was single I’d rather eat my own liver than live with a man again. Carry on as you are is my advice. Or get shot because she sounds like a gold digger.