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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Families in a and e

183 replies

stormynight1 · 17/03/2022 19:24

Currently in a and e waiting to be seen and the rules at the moment are no one with you unless vulnerable etc. I was dropped off and partners now gone home and will come back later to get me. But I’m amazed at how many people are here with Someone there’s a lady in her 30s with both parents i had to stand for 5 minutes in pain until someone left as all sets where taken. Why can’t they read the rules or go wait in the car one couple have just got out a packed lunch type meal.

OP posts:
StealingYourWiFi · 17/03/2022 19:24

I used to work in A&E. It’s like a day out!! Hope you’re ok

XenoBitch · 17/03/2022 19:26

That lady in her 30s could be accompanied by one parent that is a carer for the other.. so both have to be there.
Why is A&E a free for all when it comes to judging other people?

Unsureaboutit9 · 17/03/2022 19:28

Well there’s obviously a fair chance they are vulnerable. Probably easier not to judge people who are probably having as crappy a day as you are, you are no way of knowing who’s vulnerable and who’s just an idiot so I’d try not to think about it.

Tiredcatmum · 17/03/2022 19:29

Why aren’t they allowed to eat?
And have you asked the lady and the two parents why they are they? No? Oh that’s because it’s none of your business.

AskingforaBaskin · 17/03/2022 19:32

I remember telling the nurse who came to apologise for the wait to em when I was younger not to worry because i was enjoying the Live JK show going on. Enough drama to cover a few episodes.

A&E does seem to really attract the worst. I don't know how the nurses at the desks tolerate all the abuse.

Theyellowflamingo · 17/03/2022 19:34

Round here if they’ve managed to get in to accompany someone you can assume there’s a very good reason. Random hangers on don’t make it through the door. Anyone fit and well who’s just accompanying should have offered you a seat though.

As for food, here cafeteria etc is closed and you can be in A&E all day. Why shouldn’t people bring food?

TyrannosaurusRegina · 17/03/2022 19:39

So what if they are carers, they shouldn't be hogging seats when unwell patients are left standing.

Original poster
stormynight1 · 17/03/2022 19:42

No one’s saying anything to anyone that comes in with someone they just all sit down and the person who’s unwell goes to check in. I have no problem with them eating in a and e packing a packed lunch seems a bit extreme

OP posts:
SergeiL · 17/03/2022 19:47

Packed lunch sounds eminently sensible - they might be (sadly) experienced in A&E. I suspect some people may be taking the piss with regards having people with them but you have no idea of their circumstances so they may or may not be out of order. Hope you get well soon.

Halllyup17 · 17/03/2022 19:48

And? You have zero idea of other people's circumstances, and why shouldn't people be allowed to eat?! Personally, if I was in pain, I'd have made damn sure my partner didn't leave me.

XenoBitch · 17/03/2022 19:50

@stormynight1

No one’s saying anything to anyone that comes in with someone they just all sit down and the person who’s unwell goes to check in. I have no problem with them eating in a and e packing a packed lunch seems a bit extreme
Why do you have an issue with people taking a packed lunch in? It is not a restaurant. They could be there for the best part of a day. When I end up in A&E, I focus on myself. I don't give a crap what other people are doing.
Wynturphelle · 17/03/2022 19:54

Some people do treat it as a day out, not all, but some. Working in maternity triage there was the pregnant woman, her partner and then her parents. Someone had also called her brother so he came in and then called his girlfriend in too. Often had to go and move the non-patients from the waiting area chairs as there were too many people!

MichelleScarn · 17/03/2022 19:54

How is their eating affecting you? Where we are Ed is very strict re people attending. So must be a reason. Even though I'd literally finished work and was still in uniform when we recently had to take dc into Ed after an accident they still only let one parent in so its taken seriously here.

Pumpfive · 17/03/2022 20:04

You are bitter because your partner has gone home. They may be breaking the rules - but more than likely, they need people with them. Oh and people have to eat. I'm sorry you're stuck in A + E but you need to not focus on other people and being judgy.

Original poster
stormynight1 · 17/03/2022 20:12

I’m not biter I told him to go home as he didn’t need to be with me I get people may need another person with them but do 12 out of 15 people need someone with them

OP posts:
Allthegoodusernamesareused · 17/03/2022 20:12

Spent 5 hrs in A&E with DD yesterday wished I'd taken a packed lunch!

Unsureaboutit9 · 17/03/2022 20:16

@stormynight1

I’m not biter I told him to go home as he didn’t need to be with me I get people may need another person with them but do 12 out of 15 people need someone with them
Probably not if you were talking about a supermarket, but in a&e it’s entirely possible. Even if they don’t, who cares? It’s not making you more in pain, you’ve got a seat, they arnt making your wait longer, and some unwell people are slightly more comfortable while waiting as a result. Considering your also annoyed by what food set up people have id guess you’d find a reason to be annoyed even if everyone was alone in there.
Porfre · 17/03/2022 20:16

I was sat for over 4 hours the other day with a 4 year old.
If I hadnt brought food we wouldn't have been able to stay that long.

TodayWeShark · 17/03/2022 20:19

I mean if you are well enough to judge…

Always take food with me - it usually an admission and wirh allergies I often don’t get food until a dietician has cleared a menu for me

Hope you feel better soon

Shitfuckcommaetc · 17/03/2022 20:21

Packing food is very sensible!

Donra · 17/03/2022 20:24

We took our son to A&E last week. My husband drove and I sat in the back of the car in case he was sick. We were there for five hours and I took a blanket, a charger, an iPad, bottled water and snacks. Should I have gone without those comfort items? Or not gone with my child at all?

As for not allowing people in with you, well those aren’t the rules any more, there are no longer any Covid restrictions.

rainyskylight · 17/03/2022 20:25

Another vote for saying that bringing a packed lunch is extremely sensible.

Hospedia · 17/03/2022 20:27

Why is A&E a free for all when it comes to judging other people?

I agree. People are there for a reason, they've been triaged at the desk and it's been agreed they should be there rather than at some other service, the rest is none of your business.

When my dad goes to A&E, which can be frequently due to health conditions, he has 2:1 care as my mum does all his paperwork, has all the medication details, and advocates for him but she needs a second adult to assist with setting up his wheelchair, transferring him from car to chair then chair to trolley, pushing it, etc. Some of his medications need to be taken with food, he's diabetic, and he meeds snacks for his bedside locker if he gets kept in (for those two reasons) so you can bet your arse there'll be a pack-up in one of the saddlebags.

WTF475878237NC · 17/03/2022 20:28

As for not allowing people in with you, well those aren’t the rules any more, there are no longer any Covid restrictions.

^ in our Trust we're still asking people to attend almost all appointments alone and only allowing one parent or carer into A&E.

WTF475878237NC · 17/03/2022 20:30

transferring him from car to chair then chair to trolley, pushing it, etc

^ we have porters and have sent second carers outside. The only time we have allowed two is for NVR.