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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Families in a and e

183 replies

stormynight1 · 17/03/2022 19:24

Currently in a and e waiting to be seen and the rules at the moment are no one with you unless vulnerable etc. I was dropped off and partners now gone home and will come back later to get me. But I’m amazed at how many people are here with Someone there’s a lady in her 30s with both parents i had to stand for 5 minutes in pain until someone left as all sets where taken. Why can’t they read the rules or go wait in the car one couple have just got out a packed lunch type meal.

OP posts:
MissMaple82 · 17/03/2022 22:04

Oh get a grip!

Gilead · 17/03/2022 22:07

I hate all this judging. My hospital are pretty strict but allow two people with me. Not your business why.
Packed lunch is sensible if you’re diabetic, did you ask?
Oh and if one dd is in the other goes with her, looking perfectly fit and healthy but she’s unable to offer you a seat due to her disabilities.
😡

Gingernutfool · 17/03/2022 22:10

I ge this. Had to take dd to a childrens hospital outpatient appointment. Dh took day off work to come with us and then only one of us could go in. There was one family there with both parents and what looked like a grandparent, although individual circumstances need to be taken in to consideration etc.
I did feel annoyed though

DysmalRadius · 17/03/2022 22:10

I think it pays to bear in mind that people don't always come to A and E from home - someone out with their family might be driving their elderly parents and kids and so if they are taken ill, everyone has to come with them or be abandoned somewhere far from home. Not to mention if someone needs their partner there and they have children that can't be left (or nobody to leave them with) then they don't have much choice but to bring the whole family.

It's easy to think about what you would do in your situation, but everyone has their own issues to deal with. I think asking if anyone can give up their seat is fine, but judging and making assumptions about whether others need support is probably the pain/worry talking. I hope you're feeling better soon. Flowers

ohthejoysoftoddler · 17/03/2022 22:13

Surely though, everyone should be able to have a partner, friend or family member with them? Isn't that the point. OP wouldn't be annoyed about the packed lunch if the rules were applied fairly.

I had a baby in October 2020 and it was outrageous. They made my husband wait outside for five hours. The nurses kept refusing his access. It wasn't until I asked a doctor, and I heard them tell the nurses they were being outrageous and to let my husband in immediately.

Blacknosugarplease · 17/03/2022 22:16

@NinaDefoe

I’m totally out of the loop obviously. I thought that A&E was for absolute emergencies. People in horrendous pain, broken bones, breathing difficulties or generally very very unwell. If you have the time (and inclination) to pack a Tupperware box full of sandwiches, where’s the emergency? I’ve been to A&E once. There was no time to make a packed lunch and I was so ill I couldn’t have eaten a thing.
GP told me to go to A&E after an appointment but looking at me - you couldn’t tell that I needed urgent care by a surgeon. I was in pain but not crying out loud pain. I also could have nipped home to grab some food if I wanted as it wasn’t ‘get there via ambulance right now urgent’ but urgent enough for my GP to insist I get it dealt with the same day.
AllOfUsAreDead · 17/03/2022 22:17

So many examples of why some people need help, single parents taking all kids etc..

That's not always the case, like it or not, it's just fact. There's been families bringing McDonald's in for the 'sick' patient that is sat there, nothing broken, not throwing up, not sick enough to avoid McDonald's. So how exactly is that an accident or emergency?

I've been in a fair few times with broken bones and everytime I see people in there that could have either waited for a gp, gone to a pharmacy or in some cases tesco would have done. They usually get taken into a room and then sent home quickly because they are wasting time. I think these types should start getting fined for wasting time, would reduce the amount of idiots going in.

Barkingmadhouse · 17/03/2022 22:17

If you are well enough to notice this, judge them, and post on MN, you probably don't need to be in A&E

Chouetted · 17/03/2022 22:18

Packed lunch eminently sensible - last time I accompanied someone to A&E it was the middle of the night and I lugged a 2L bottle of diet coke along in order to actually stay awake!

Unless you're literally about to drop dead, most people should have enough time to grab the necessities - medication, comfy clothes, phone charger. It's a nightmare to be stuck in a hospital without those. No reason not to make some sandwiches too.

ohthejoysoftoddler · 17/03/2022 22:20

@Barkingmadhouse

If you are well enough to notice this, judge them, and post on MN, you probably don't need to be in A&E
Ridiculous. Anyone who is so sick they can't notice this is usually rushed through. A&E waiting room is like a minors walk in these days!

Also, read OP comments again. She just wanted someone with her.

kjv1234 · 17/03/2022 22:20

The length of time the wait in a&e is I'm not surprised they've packed a lunch- good forward planning I think!

HotMummaSummer · 17/03/2022 22:22

Packed lunch is a good shout. I fractured and dislocated my wrist a while back, slept the night, travelled back to the city where I lived and went to minor injuries only to get told I needed to go to A&E. It was before covid so partner was with me but we had to make do with a vending machine dinner.

Heartofglass12345 · 17/03/2022 22:23

I've been in A&E with a suspected broken ankle and was there for 7hours, I wish I'd taken a packed lunch lol.

lljkk · 17/03/2022 22:26

"In January 2022, 37.7% of patients at type 1 departments spent longer than 4 hours in A&E, compared with 28.9% in January 2020, and 8.7% in January 2015."

Google just told me. 1/3 chance you'll wait at least 4 hours. Yeah, bringing a packed meal is very sensible!

mowly77 · 17/03/2022 22:26

My god - I was in A&E very recently, in fact I waited 7 fucking hours. Yes on my own. Discharged myself in the end otherwise I’d probably still be there. My partner had left me food otherwise I wouldn’t have eaten. I wasn’t v hungry as too ill but I gave other people waiting my food as they too were there for fucking hours & no vending machines, nothing. One man was diabetic! The staff were v strict and chucked out anyone who wasn’t a carer. And I still had to sit in a wheelchair in a corridor by the one working toilet. You just don’t know other people’s circumstances and if you’re well enough to judge other people when you’re in A&E well fucking good for you judgy pants.

Dionysuss · 17/03/2022 22:26

The day out gangs are making their way back in. DH had a broken leg because he is an idiot. Half the chairs in fracture clinic are missing for social distancing. At his last appointment he was sat down, then someone staggered through the door, asked him where Costa was, and collapsed dramatically in front of him. He jumped up to help, and one of the 3 support buddies another patient had bought grabbed his chair and carried it off for themselves.
He was stood waiting for half an hour. (Collapsed person was OK, and had fainted following a blood test.)

AllOfUsAreDead · 17/03/2022 22:34

@Dionysuss

The day out gangs are making their way back in. DH had a broken leg because he is an idiot. Half the chairs in fracture clinic are missing for social distancing. At his last appointment he was sat down, then someone staggered through the door, asked him where Costa was, and collapsed dramatically in front of him. He jumped up to help, and one of the 3 support buddies another patient had bought grabbed his chair and carried it off for themselves. He was stood waiting for half an hour. (Collapsed person was OK, and had fainted following a blood test.)
That's pretty awful. Sad People just don't give a shit anymore.
Mangogogogo · 17/03/2022 22:37

@THisbackwithavengeance

If you've got time to get your friends and family over for a group day out to A&E and managed to pack a picnic as well, it's not really an emergency is it?

YANBU. People generally take the piss in A&E. I don't know how the nurses remain polite, I'd have something to say if I worked there.

I agree with the first part of this tbh. On the other hand, 111 are so fast to send people to a&e it’s absolutely ridiculous.
Stillfunny · 17/03/2022 22:39

What sort of sad pathetic life do you have to have to see A &E as a place to hang out ?

I would rather be anywhere else in the world. I ended up there on Xmas Day with elderly blind relation and kept hoping that I could leave ASAP. And it was actually not a bad atmosphere at all. Empty and staff being so caring .

Cad1314 · 17/03/2022 22:40

Mind your own buisness

Tsuni · 17/03/2022 22:40

@NinaDefoe

I’m totally out of the loop obviously. I thought that A&E was for absolute emergencies. People in horrendous pain, broken bones, breathing difficulties or generally very very unwell. If you have the time (and inclination) to pack a Tupperware box full of sandwiches, where’s the emergency? I’ve been to A&E once. There was no time to make a packed lunch and I was so ill I couldn’t have eaten a thing.
Do you know ambulances can take a very long time to get to you? Plenty of time for you or a relative to pack some food.

A+E isn't just for emergencies, it's for accidents as well. Clue is in the name.

I burst my lip open and it needed stitches. Where should I have gone?

NeedAHoliday2021 · 17/03/2022 22:42

The abuse a&e staff are getting at the moment is unreal so thank you op for following the rules. It does make a difference.

youdoyoutoday · 17/03/2022 22:43

There are some real good reasons why 1 person needs another in A&E, no one is disputing that.

It's those that turn up with mum, dad, 3 aunts, the next door neighbours and 3-7 kids between them, that is not what is needed when they all take up 20 seats amongst them!

Mylazyparrot · 17/03/2022 22:44

I went to a and e with a broken leg. My husband drove me there but wasn’t allowed in. Lots of people with accompanying people however. I did get a seat but I would really have liked DH to be there with me. Felt it was really unfair. I couldn’t get anything from the vending machine, go to the loo or ask for painkillers as I couldn’t move from my seat. I didn’t have time to pack food and drink asI had a broken leg.

catzrulz · 17/03/2022 22:47

I had my first Chemo treatment today, signs everywhere saying you can be accompanied to Clinic Appointments if the relative/carer waits outside the waiting room until you are called, but cannot be accompanied to chemo due to the size of the ward and social distancing, I'm in Scotland.
A young lady arrived with her Mum who was asked to wait in the corridor today until her daughter was called for Chemo. Mum kicked off and refused, said daughter had MH issues, she was totally unreasonable and very rude to staff.
When the staff left she was laughing with her daughter and said see it always works if we say MH, they can't prove anything and said it was cheaper than paying for heating at home.
So @stormynight1 you are definitely NBU.