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AIBU?

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Original poster

Families in a and e

183 replies

stormynight1 · 17/03/2022 19:24

Currently in a and e waiting to be seen and the rules at the moment are no one with you unless vulnerable etc. I was dropped off and partners now gone home and will come back later to get me. But I’m amazed at how many people are here with Someone there’s a lady in her 30s with both parents i had to stand for 5 minutes in pain until someone left as all sets where taken. Why can’t they read the rules or go wait in the car one couple have just got out a packed lunch type meal.

OP posts:
JudgeJ · 17/03/2022 21:04

@Tsuni

You sound hangry, op. If only you'd packed a sandwich.
I wonder if Just Eats etc deliver to A and E?
EmmaH2022 · 17/03/2022 21:09

You never know the reasons.

Hope you are seen soon and you recover quickly Flowers

Gwenhwyfar · 17/03/2022 21:09

"^ in our Trust we're still asking people to attend almost all appointments alone and only allowing one parent or carer into A&E."

But apparently not giving a shit about masks if people are allowed to eat in A&E.

drawingpad · 17/03/2022 21:10

I can't imagine a sit where I could judge someone seeking medical attention for who is with them

IKnowYouDontTurnTheLightOn · 17/03/2022 21:12

Oh FFS why have people always got a million one reasons for other people’s shitty behaviour Hmm. Yes there are some people who have a reason for bringing an army of fucking hangers on when they attend A&E but everyone who has ever visited or worked in A&E will know that there are plenty of people who take the piss for no good reason. Hmm

I once had to go with a broken wrist and there were people there with 3 or 4 friends or family treating it like it was a trip out. I had to ask on more than one occasion for them to move so I could sit down.

Pre Covid my sister would get sick to the back teeth of all the excess day trippers getting in the way.

Let’s not pretend they all have a legitimate reason to be there and accept that some people are dicks Hmm.

Rubyupbeat · 17/03/2022 21:15

The odd occasions I have been to a and e, it's like a family day out, whole families with Tupperware containers full of food, munching away.

Georgeskitchen · 17/03/2022 21:17

A&E pre-covid was like a cattle market at times. Absolutely packed. For every injured patient there would be mum dad granny grandad and half a dozen aunties. (Slight exaggeration possibly) but hard work actually trying to find a seat to sit down, especially when you're poorly and can't stand up for long.
Anyone not a parent or carer who just came along for the ride should be kicked out, no arguments!!

LaChanticleer · 17/03/2022 21:20

Total sympathy, @stormynight1

I can remember weekly appointments at an overcrowded fracture clinic, where some patients seemed to be accompanied by all sorts of relatives. signs all around the waiting room asked that people accompanying patients give up seats if patients were standing - and in a fracture clinic, it’s pretty obvious who are patients! We were all with arms in slings or on crutches. I was permanently exhausted for 6 weeks mending a difficult and painful fracture, but had to stand several times. And the staff were so harried and pushed, I couldn’t ask them to intervene for me.

Some people are very selfish.

But I’m sure the virtue signallers here will tell you that you’re unreasonable. You’re not.

Mouldyfeet · 17/03/2022 21:20

I did 16 years in A and E and I now work in a GP surgery. If I send anyone up to the hospital, I tell them to get a book and take some food and drink.

Never go to a and e without those things if you can tell it.

AnnesBrokenSlate · 17/03/2022 21:21

They are still being very strict about allowing people into A&E so if they are there then they have reason to be.

As for bringing food and drink that's sensible since you don't know the wait times and ... again ... you don't know anyone's medical situation so they may need to eat for blood sugar levels, etc.

AnnesBrokenSlate · 17/03/2022 21:23

Oh and all the people saying what it was like pre-Covid - well, that's completely irrelevant. I've been in A&E umpteen times since Covid and no-one is there unless it's absolutely necessary which can mean the patient is vulnerable or needs a translator etc.

whatdodos · 17/03/2022 21:24

See to you I would probably look like one of those people who don't need someone with them but I have an invisible disability which is dangerous and if I have an 'attack' I'd need my mum there with me because when I come round I don't know who I am, where I am and can get very emotional/angry/disturbed and she'd also be able to tell them about my condition and my medication whereas I wouldn't. She is also in her 70s so struggles to stand for long periods. You literally have no idea why someone may have people there. To everyone I look like a perfectly mobile and healthy 30 year old and judgements like this is why I've never used my disabled bus pass that I'm perfectly entitled to use and have always paid because I'm so scared someone will say something or judge.

BeeandG · 17/03/2022 21:25

I was in our local A&E recently, I was one of the minority in the waiting area to just be on my own. When I went through to the minors area most people were on their own. I felt too ill to eat but I wished I had taken some water with me.

Mynameisnew · 17/03/2022 21:26

I think if you're facing a 12 hour wait you need a packed lunch.
I'd be really sad to know someone was watching me as I sat in pain and was typing about me on the Internet.

Underhisi · 17/03/2022 21:28

Some people need 1:1 or 2:1 care. Throughout covid ds has always had 2 people with him. You are right that well people should not be sitting when the unwell are standing.

WindyKnickers · 17/03/2022 21:28

I had to take DD to A&E last summer. We didn't have time to pack a lunch and were there about 4 hours. She's a coeliac so couldn't eat most of what was available and had 2 packets of crisps for her tea. Wish I'd had time to pop an apple or two in my bag.

DeadButDelicious · 17/03/2022 21:28

I've spent 6 hours in A&E today and if someone had company it was because they needed it. The staff made it crystal clear that you weren't allowed to have anyone with you. I wish I'd took a lunch with me. I was bloody ravenous by the time I got out.

theotherfossilsister · 17/03/2022 21:28

I was in a and e a fortnight ago and couldn't have coped without dp. I was in shock, literally, after falling and didn't believe anything was wrong with me despite everyone around me telling me I'd broken several bones. Including a doctor at the scene

If I'd gone in alone I'd have probably told them I was ok and didn't know why I'd been bought there. The pain came when the shock wore off. Oh and I'd only broken my humerus but in multiple places.

I think the receptionist could see I didn't know what was going on and dp stayed with me the whole time (six hours but we were out of a and e and into orthopedic bit almost immediately then in and out of x ray and casting and nurse and consultant.) I might have started crying when I saw the x ray.

youdoyoutoday · 17/03/2022 21:31

I have to agree with you, OP.

Some families see it as a day trip because 1 kid is ill so mum, dad and the 3 other young kids come along rather than 1 parent and the other parent staying at home with the other kids. Fair enough mum might not be able to drive but can surely be dropped off? I think they just love the drama of it!

I've seen a single bloke moan about everything under the sun in A&E yet when it was his turn to see a doctor,he was in and out in in less than 2 minutes and the Dr escorting him out the office was saying 'see your GP tomorrow'!! Why was he even in A&E? Wasting time and resources when he should have just made an appointment with his GP!

However, after having spent a few occasions in A&E with mum after dementia episodes, falls etc, we started taking snacks and drinks because we knew we'd be in for hours, unfortunately.

sqirrelfriends · 17/03/2022 21:32

Post covid was fine but last time I went to adult A&E (accompanying someone who couldn't walk on their own) there were 5 people accompanying one lady. It seemed to be: partner, daughter, daughters partner and two young children.

They were causing huge amounts of noise between them and were getting aggressive with the nurses. A lady had collapsed in the toilets and they were complaining loudly that they needed to use them.

Now I know that most accompanied people have legitimate need, but some people seem to think, why the fuck not and treat it like an excursion.

WouldYouIo · 17/03/2022 21:33

Recently we had to beg to be allowed to both stay with our ds when he was unwell due to his needs

worriedatthistime · 17/03/2022 21:35

I was in a & e other day and they were strict someone was sending any people home and saying one only unless carer or parent accompanying a child

oldandscunnered · 17/03/2022 21:36

When I was last in A and E I asked if my DH could stay with me as I was feeling faint. You don't know the circumstances and some people might be in pain or distress. Seems reasonable that they can have someone with them.

Flowerpower23 · 17/03/2022 21:36

You’re absolutely allowed to eat in a&e, ours has several vending machines

Notjustabrunette · 17/03/2022 21:37

When I take my son to a & e if his asthma is bad I take a packed lunch. I know we’re going to there for hours with nothing to eat. I would call it learning from experience rather than extreme.