Page 6 | Families in a and e

Angrymum22 · 17/03/2022 22:51

They need at least one person to give a running commentary on social media who are anxiously waiting for updates on Archie who stubbed his toe. Then there is the obligatory loud mouth who is there to sigh loudly and complain about the wait, the fact that the bloke who has been rushed through mid heart attack has jumped the queue and generally harass the receptionist. They also need at least two young children to periodically scream or tantrum and race around the waiting room climbing all over the chairs. All the while Archie is sat moaning that his toe is fine now and he’s missing out on a group Minecraft game.
Oh, and the rest are glued to their phones, “liking “ or commenting on all the social media posts.

MargaretThursday · 17/03/2022 22:56

I agree with OP.

I've certainly been in A&E at various points where there have been extraneous people. The two I especially remember include:

17yo girl (she told us loudly she was 17yo when she was stropping because she didn't want to be "with the babies") with a cut on her leg who came accompanied by: 2x parents, 2x grandparents, 1x brother, 1x uncle and an extraneous other male who I never established his relationship-bearing in mind that at the time the children's A&E seated less than 15 people. They moaned loudly because they couldn't all get seats, which included telling people aggressively to move their children who were clearly in pain, or to sit on the floor. They all insisted on going into the (tiny) triage room which meant the door had to be open-so we all heard the nurse say "it's stopped bleeding and you can hardly see it. You don't even need a plaster." They then all marched out in high indignation.
A mum who came in with her 8yo who'd fallen off the bed and broken her arm. Fair enough. But she brought her 4/5yo because "he wanted to come too"-dad was at home, and had suggested the younger one stayed at home "but he didn't want to." He had several tantrums, snatched toys off other children in the room, which including hitting one child in the face when they tried to hold on, and at about 11:30pm screamed he was thirsty for about 20 minutes. At which point Mum went off, leaving both children and returned with a can of (full fat) coke which she proceeded to put into a baby's bottle for him.

Yes, I judged. I actually felt mostly sorry for the 8yo who was a sweet little one who deserved to have her Mum's full attention while she was in pain. She was clearly used to not being given attention. I ended up reading her (and ds) a story and her Mum never once spoke to her, she was too busy with the younger one.

Dinoteeth · 17/03/2022 22:58

"Packed lunch type meal" would that be a couple of sandwiches out the petrol station on the way there.I admire their planning.

Pre-covid my last trip to A&E knowing the long wait, and the horrible pre-admittance ward that was to come with my toddler who wouldn't leave my knee I asked someone to get me a couple of bottles of water from the vending machine - stupid thing only took cards. Very kind lady got me them and i gave her the cash. My toddler learnt to drink out a bottle that day

Angrymum22 · 17/03/2022 23:00

I’ve spent time on both sides of the A&E curtain. It’s a fantastic place to observe human behaviour.
I missed out on a whole Friday evening of entertainment 2 weeks ago when my DH was blue lighted to our local A&E having suffered a stroke. We were not allowed to see him for the whole 3 days he was in hospital.
I am in awe of the way the A&E staff work under such pressure ( years ago when I worked in A&E you could be just as rude and abusive to patients as they are now with no fear of a service case or complaint).
My DH is testament to how A&E are their when you are an actual emergency. Thanks to their timely treatment he has survived and is almost back to normal.

Cameleongirl · 17/03/2022 23:03

Haven't RTFT, but I do think that patients should get priority for the available seats. Someone in pain shouldn't be forced to stand or sit on the floor due to family members/friends occupying the seats (unless they also have medical issues that make it impossible for them to give up their seat to a patient).

I usually bring snacks/drinks to A & E!

Beveren · 17/03/2022 23:07

It's really weird that some people treat a trip to A&E as a family outing, and nowadays there is really no excuse for it, especially when it means they are taking up all the seats.

When I went recently, I had been in for a preliminary examination and then had eye drops to dilate the pupils of my eyes so had to go back out and wait for the drops to work. When I went back out there were no seats left and four or five people were standing around. I felt utterly lousy with what turned out to be shingles in my eye, and I just knew there was no way I could stand for any length of time. Fortunately for me, at that point a nurse came and virtually ordered anyone not waiting for treatment to get out, and several people left. It really shouldn't have been necessary for her to do that, the hangers on should have given up their seats voluntarily because it was obvious that there were several patients in varying stages of ill health who needed a seat. So, OP, YANBU.

Mariposista · 17/03/2022 23:11

It's fair enough for each patient to have 1 supporter with them, after all, they are there because they are ill or in pain, why should they have to go through that alone. But back in the day when people would bring the whole family along, kids running around etc, that was mayhem.

earsup · 17/03/2022 23:24

last time i went, a family of 8 smashed up the area as they couldnt get a prescription for a non urgent item..smoked and then lifted up their skirts and pissed outside....!!...lovely....!!!

wanttomarryamillionaire · 17/03/2022 23:40

I have worked for the NHS and some people actually treat it like a day out! Trust me op the staff don't like it any more than you do! Also to those saying why shouldn't people eat, it's because there are people who already feel ill enough without having to smell different foods as well! Its a waiting room not a bloody cafe!

Beansontoastagain · 17/03/2022 23:42

@stormynight1

I’m not biter I told him to go home as he didn’t need to be with me I get people may need another person with them but do 12 out of 15 people need someone with them

Maybe. You don't know and you can't ask because it's really none if your business 🤷

Flowersandhearts · 17/03/2022 23:42

@stormynight1

Currently in a and e waiting to be seen and the rules at the moment are no one with you unless vulnerable etc. I was dropped off and partners now gone home and will come back later to get me. But I’m amazed at how many people are here with Someone there’s a lady in her 30s with both parents i had to stand for 5 minutes in pain until someone left as all sets where taken. Why can’t they read the rules or go wait in the car one couple have just got out a packed lunch type meal.

YANBU in general however focusing on the woman in her 30s with both parents sort of is- I'm in my 30s, living with family due to illness and would need lots of help to go to A&E due to my condition.

TheOriginalEmu · 17/03/2022 23:51

I have a medical condition that means I’m often in a&e, every couple of months. I usually pack some food, as I know it’s going to be a wait and I have coeliac disease so eating out of vending machines is limiting.
My mum had cancer and often needed a&e whilst on treatment, she was also my sisters carer. It often meant all three of us being there as my sister would be distraught without her and I needed to be there to talk to the doctors as my mum was deaf. You have no idea of peoples stories.

TheOriginalEmu · 18/03/2022 00:01

@NinaDefoe

I’m totally out of the loop obviously. I thought that A&E was for absolute emergencies. People in horrendous pain, broken bones, breathing difficulties or generally very very unwell. If you have the time (and inclination) to pack a Tupperware box full of sandwiches, where’s the emergency? I’ve been to A&E once. There was no time to make a packed lunch and I was so ill I couldn’t have eaten a thing.

If you have a chronic condition that requires regular a&e trips then you learn to plan for it. I have a picc line and a feeding tube that if they become dislodged need replacing in hospital, that requires a&e, but I’m not going to drop dead if I stop to make a butty or buy some stuff from a garage on the way. Same goes for issues with my stoma, A child having an asthma attack, a person in mental health crisis, a broken leg.

me4real · 18/03/2022 00:05

Unless there were some reason for them to come in, they probably would'tve been allowed in. That 30 year old could have some sort of major issues of some kind and need two people with her. You can't always tell.

BoldMove · 18/03/2022 00:07

Maybe the staff don't want the hassle or possible abuse. Last time I was in a n e someone ordered a Mcdonalds delivery! But I suppose if you're in for long wait then why not.

Flowersandhearts · 18/03/2022 00:10

@catzrulz

I had my first Chemo treatment today, signs everywhere saying you can be accompanied to Clinic Appointments if the relative/carer waits outside the waiting room until you are called, but cannot be accompanied to chemo due to the size of the ward and social distancing, I'm in Scotland. A young lady arrived with her Mum who was asked to wait in the corridor today until her daughter was called for Chemo. Mum kicked off and refused, said daughter had MH issues, she was totally unreasonable and very rude to staff. When the staff left she was laughing with her daughter and said see it always works if we say MH, they can't prove anything and said it was cheaper than paying for heating at home. So *@stormynight1* you are definitely NBU.

Whilst that's not great behaviour from that mother and daughter- do you not think that she may still have really felt she needed the support, especially if she was young?

I'm sure everyone going through chemo would cope better with someone there for support though.

Wowwwww · 18/03/2022 00:36

I’ve just came back from a&e with my son (he’s a child so allowed one parent). Apart from two others everyone had two parents with them. One family had a little boy who was running around, his dad I thought was picking him up as his brother wasn’t very well but no he joined the family. It was total chaos and full because of all the adults there

safclass · 18/03/2022 00:52

Even now our trust would not allow a 2nd person, unless the patient needed them ie I have to take my mam due to her conditions. Still very strict. You wouldn't gave gotten through the door!

AlwaysLatte · 18/03/2022 01:18

Packed lunch is very sensible when you consider the waiting times.

RandomBasic · 18/03/2022 06:03

I hope op and the other judgemental ones have read tft. They can make a clipboard now to check a list "Are you epileptic, even though you look 'nornal' and like a strapping young lad? Were you recently the victim of a SA? Are you having a miscarriage? Yes? OK then, you are free of my judgement.

A £3 McDonald's burger chips drink can be cheaper than a meal deal. A broken wrist doesn't mean that you can't eat for 6 hours.

Clipboard out again. 'Why aren't you waiting in the car? Oh, you don't have one. Just go wait in the rain. And you? She can't speak English? Grrr, out, let her manage. I heard her speak English to the receptionist, what do you mean, answering basic questions in English isn't the same as a medical consultation in a language you are not fluent in?

And yes you, how dare you be too poor to afford to heat your house. To the workhouse with you.

Simonjt · 18/03/2022 06:15

@stormynight1

Currently in a and e waiting to be seen and the rules at the moment are no one with you unless vulnerable etc. I was dropped off and partners now gone home and will come back later to get me. But I’m amazed at how many people are here with Someone there’s a lady in her 30s with both parents i had to stand for 5 minutes in pain until someone left as all sets where taken. Why can’t they read the rules or go wait in the car one couple have just got out a packed lunch type meal.

I have type 1 diabetes, if I don’t take food to A&E I’ll very quickly become a patient myself.

We had to go in late January, my husband had hit his head, felt sick and was having issues with his vision. Someone with a head injury can’t get themself to hospital without assistance, they also can’t be left alone as they’re liable to fall (even when sat down) and so need someone with them all the time. I’m not sure how you think I could carr for him for 7 hours while sat in my car at home?

Simonjt · 18/03/2022 06:17

@stormynight1

No one’s saying anything to anyone that comes in with someone they just all sit down and the person who’s unwell goes to check in. I have no problem with them eating in a and e packing a packed lunch seems a bit extreme

So people with diabetes shouldn’t be able to safely access A&E?

CatsandDogs22 · 18/03/2022 06:19

People judge in the waiting room because they are stressed, bored and in pain.

I have both judged and been judged in the emergency waiting room. I’ve seen the stares from people as we get rushed through ahead of them (because my baby desperately needed oxygen), found myself wondering why they are there when their “so sick it couldn’t wait for the morning” child is bouncing around the waiting room happy as a clam at 2am.

Truth is none of us know what is going on in each other’s lives or how or why we came to be there. And we are all far too bored to mind our own business

Spikeyball · 18/03/2022 06:46

"there’s a lady in her 30s with both parents"

My son will need 2 perhaps even 3 adults with him when he is in his 30s.

We are certainly not bored when taking him to the hospital - too busy trying to prevent all hell breaking loose.

Philisophigal · 18/03/2022 06:51

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