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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Families in a and e

183 replies

stormynight1 · 17/03/2022 19:24

Currently in a and e waiting to be seen and the rules at the moment are no one with you unless vulnerable etc. I was dropped off and partners now gone home and will come back later to get me. But I’m amazed at how many people are here with Someone there’s a lady in her 30s with both parents i had to stand for 5 minutes in pain until someone left as all sets where taken. Why can’t they read the rules or go wait in the car one couple have just got out a packed lunch type meal.

OP posts:

FlyingPandas · 17/03/2022 21:37

To be fair, bringing food/drink/something to read is totally sensible. If I ever have to take one of the DC to A&E, I always do this! You can wait for hours, it's far better to be prepared.

However, I do agree that some families seem to treat it as a day out. And yes of course there will be some people who genuinely need a supporter/carer, but there are many, many others who are taking the piss and bring along mum/dad/aunty jean/brother/sister/grandma etc etc. No-one needs the entire family there.

vipersnest1 · 17/03/2022 21:37

I'm on the fence with this...
I accompanied (adult) DC2 to A&E just after the New Year as they needed someone to advocate for them and wouldn't have gone alone.
I also attended after a fall (and was told I was right to), but didn't take anyone with me as I was ok to be alone.
To be fair, I have also witnessed the whole 'family day out' scenario in the few times I've attended or been at A&E or minor injuries units over the years, and wondered why on earth so many people are needed to support one individual. In recent times, as PP have said, they deny seating g to other people who need it.

NinaDefoe · 17/03/2022 21:38

I’m totally out of the loop obviously. I thought that A&E was for absolute emergencies.
People in horrendous pain, broken bones, breathing difficulties or generally very very unwell.
If you have the time (and inclination) to pack a Tupperware box full of sandwiches, where’s the emergency?
I’ve been to A&E once. There was no time to make a packed lunch and I was so ill I couldn’t have eaten a thing.

worriedatthistime · 17/03/2022 21:38

@Donra well they are still the rules here , hospitals still have covid guidelines in place foe obvious reasons

cpjoli · 17/03/2022 21:39

I was in a and e last week with my adult son who is autistic. Lots of people looking at me. I wish people wouldn't assume

murality · 17/03/2022 21:39

I went to A&E with my dad recently, he's 78 with stage 4 cancer so I stayed with him. The wait was eased by the presence of a prisoner handcuffed to a guard. The prisoner was hot as hell

worriedatthistime · 17/03/2022 21:40

Taking food is sensible though wish i had

RedPanda901 · 17/03/2022 21:41

I'm not surprised A&E is busy again. I called my gp surgery this morning 1 min before the lines opened for a phone appointment for routine but not repeat meds and was 47 in the queue! 1 hour later I get through, Sorry no appointments today... Try again tomorrow. 😡

Carriecakes80 · 17/03/2022 21:41

Ahh, its hard isn't it. I was having a miscarriage in A&E in November, lost one of my twin babies, the other is thriving thank goodness, and even though they would have preferred me to stay and wait in A&E alone, my husband stayed with me, so I could cling to him and cry my silent tears behind my mask when the pain got too much.
One lady asked if my husband needed to be there (hence why I'm replying so bluntly to this), one look in my eyes told her to move along sharpish....My husband is a little nicer and explained quietly that I couldn't be alone.

I think for the most part I looked pretty normal, very red eyes, hiding the pain as I was sat there for five hours, didn't want to move in case I bled...but hey...lets all judge.

TheRealityCheque · 17/03/2022 21:42

The 'rules' are fucking stupid and it's beyond time people stood up against them and got back to normality.

There's simply no justification for anywhere to use Covid as an excuse for anything anymore.

TheRealityCheque · 17/03/2022 21:46

[quote worriedatthistime]@Donra well they are still the rules here , hospitals still have covid guidelines in place foe obvious reasons [/quote]
Sorry, but the reasons aren't 'obvious' any more at all.

We've managed for decades without stupid restrictions and the current variants of Covid are causing fewer hospitalisations and deaths than other respiratory illnesses in previous years.

lljkk · 17/03/2022 21:46

Things like broken limbs you often can pause to pack a meal; A+E is still the only place to go as far as i know to diagnose a fracture, but often not "absolutely emergency".

In MIU last night, extra ppl were repeatedly told to go wait in the car.

Where would they wait if no car. It was cold & pissing down. Down t' pub?!

No extra ppl told to go away at fracture clinic this morning. But we were told to wear surgical masks so that's alright.

Myee · 17/03/2022 21:46

How did people survive at the height of Covid?

I went through A+E three times alone, deaf and vulnerable. Got through it because there was no way anyone was allowed in with me. Just to the door and that was it. It wasn't great, but staff were wonderful and I managed.

If they ever change the rules, it should just be one person allowed, not an entourage, although I get that in a life or death situation it is difficult to detach and stay away.

nocoolnamesleft · 17/03/2022 21:47

@TheRealityCheque

The 'rules' are fucking stupid and it's beyond time people stood up against them and got back to normality.

There's simply no justification for anywhere to use Covid as an excuse for anything anymore.

Cases are rising. Hospitalisations are rising. Staff off sick are through the roof. Covid is not over just because we wish it were.

JeanMarie · 17/03/2022 21:47

I recently had 18 hours in A&E waiting for a bed as I was being admitted. I was taken there by ambulance and the paramedics insisted that no one was allowed in with me. I sat on my own for three hours before I called my son and begged him to take me home. I'm on crutches due to a previous back injury , had severe abdominal pain and vomiting. I couldn't even make my own way to the toilet and the staff were rushed off their feet and couldn't help me. My son appeared...a nurse told him he couldn't be there but he told her I was wanting to leave because I couldn't manage ( in fairness I was delirious) . She let him stay. I wasn't really taking much in but my son said that a lot of people were turned away and the only people being accompanied were minors and the elderly. I do remember a trolley coming round with sandwiches and water which I've never seen being done in an A&E before...they were free.

reesewithoutaspoon · 17/03/2022 21:49

@TheRealityCheque

The 'rules' are fucking stupid and it's beyond time people stood up against them and got back to normality.

There's simply no justification for anywhere to use Covid as an excuse for anything anymore.

Covid is rife again, just not being tested for, isolated for, or reported. Cases are over 160k a day atm and that's massively underreported due to the reduction in testing. Might only be minor for most people but hospitals still have a lot of sick and vulnerable people in them and they are taking every precaution they can take to try and reduce the number of active cases brought into the hospital to protect their current staff and patients.

gogohm · 17/03/2022 21:50

I was allowed in with dp but it was eye a&e rather than the main one. They offered me tea! We live too far to go home and come back unless it's a full day, and that's the case for a lot of their patients due to it being specialist so they've been understanding throughout the pandemic (yes we've basically got a season ticket eyes eh!)

Piper22 · 17/03/2022 21:51

You sound awful. It’s nothing whatsoever to do with you. Not sure whether you can be in that much discomfort when you’re directing so much judgemental attention to people around you

Redglitter · 17/03/2022 21:52

@NinaDefoe

I’m totally out of the loop obviously. I thought that A&E was for absolute emergencies. People in horrendous pain, broken bones, breathing difficulties or generally very very unwell. If you have the time (and inclination) to pack a Tupperware box full of sandwiches, where’s the emergency? I’ve been to A&E once. There was no time to make a packed lunch and I was so ill I couldn’t have eaten a thing.

I've been at A&E several times in the past few years. I have a recurring kidney problem & when it reaches a certain level I need hospital treatment. Its normally a referral after an emergency GP appointment so I do have time to go home & pack.for what usually ends up a couple of weeks in hospital. The only way to get into the system and admitted is through A&E. So while i might look ok, I'm far from it

RussianSpy101 · 17/03/2022 21:54

We had a woman scream at me, my husband, my parents and my sister on Monday for all waiting on the corridor just off A&E. Apparently we were taking the piss and didn’t all need to be there when she had to come alone.
We were waiting for a nurse to come and take us to my grandfather so that we could say goodbye.

Focus on yourself and stop judging.

TheRealityCheque · 17/03/2022 21:54

@nocoolnamesleft @reesewithoutaspoon

Meh, this time of year there's always tons of respiratory infections. If it wasn't Covid it would be flu, or the common cold.

The restrictions are completely arbitary and serve no useful purpose (and haven't for months now).

Cases rising means bigger all - its a mild infection for the vast majority.

WoolyMammoth55 · 17/03/2022 21:54

On the "hogging all the seats" thing - the worst I've experienced (non A&E) was in pre-natal unit in London hospital pre-Covid, when all the pregnant mums had bought partners with them, all the seats were taken, and the men weren't getting up to offer their seats to the heavily pregnant women!!

I was genuinely shocked - eventually a midwife came round and yelled at them that they could either give up their seats for the other pregnant women, or go home and sit down there :)

Some people are just rubbish, what can you do? Hope you're feeling better now OP.

Theyellowflamingo · 17/03/2022 21:54

@NinaDefoe

I’m totally out of the loop obviously. I thought that A&E was for absolute emergencies. People in horrendous pain, broken bones, breathing difficulties or generally very very unwell. If you have the time (and inclination) to pack a Tupperware box full of sandwiches, where’s the emergency? I’ve been to A&E once. There was no time to make a packed lunch and I was so ill I couldn’t have eaten a thing.

I’ve accompanied my toddler to A&E in the back of a blue lit ambulance. I assure you I still had time to pack food, nappies, pjs, chargers etc. Admittedly I didn’t actually make a sandwich on that occasion. We ate our packed food in A&E over many many hours, before they eventually found a bed for overnight admission. DC definitely needed to be there, it was an emergency, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t grab a few things while waiting for aforementioned ambulance.

A&E here also deals with eg broken bones - when my DC broke their wrist there really was no reason I couldn’t eat a sandwich while waiting umpteen hours.

ohthejoysoftoddler · 17/03/2022 21:57

I was in A&E yesterday and angry about this. I was solo, obviously. Another family with a child, two parents and what I assume was a grandparent. It made me really annoyed I couldn't have anyone sit with me. Appreciate there might be individual circumstances.

I think the kid should have all those people and I think my husband should have been able to sit with me. Covid has turned everyone insane.

Rosebel · 17/03/2022 22:03

When my son was 5 weeks old we were in A&E for 7 hours and I was starving. Obviously I couldn't leave him and will always take food now.
I can understand it's a bit annoying loads of people being around when you feel rubbish but as you don't know the circumstances you can't do much.

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