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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be miffed DH keeps putting the heating on?

159 replies

FeelingTooHotHotHot · 17/03/2022 11:19

He gets in from work in the small hours, he then puts the electric blanket on (on his side of the bed), sticks the heating on and turns it up to 20° (so the house warms up quickly) but then gets in bed and falls asleep. He's also taken to putting an extra quilt on top of DC.

The heating can be on then for several hours until I get up. So the house is baking, DC has kicked their blankets off or are sweating profusely under two quilts plus fleece blanket. Quite often the heat coming from his side of the bed wakes me up and I either have to wake him to turn it off, or get out of bed and then it off myself.

Our gas/electric bill has gone up from 100 to 235 last month. I want to hide the heating controller but can't quite bring myself to do that as it feels really controlling.

I don't want him to be cold but it's getting ridiculous. Will admit that I put the heating on as a last resort. I hate being cold but DC and I use blankets (electric and normal) hot water bottles and each have an oodie. He thinks the house should be warm and then walk around in a t-shirt.

What would you do?

OP posts:
imamumgetmeoutofhere · 17/03/2022 11:22

I'd ask him to pay the extra portion of the bill. If he refuses then hide the remote

Mamamia7962 · 17/03/2022 11:23

Can you not put it on a timer so that it comes on for an hour before he comes home so that the house is warm for him.

Original poster
FeelingTooHotHotHot · 17/03/2022 11:24

He pays everything, I'm a SAHM. So it all comes out of the family pot.

OP posts:
CoffeeBeansGalore · 17/03/2022 11:25

Can you set the heating to come on 30 mins before he gets home so he walks into a warm house, but also set it to go off within an hour.
He then won't need to turn it on & leave it on.
Should stop him covering up the kids too much as well.
Can his electric blanket go on a timer plug so again it's warm for him to get into bed, but goes off within an hour, & hopefully not get so warm it disturbs you.

MumsMetHer · 17/03/2022 11:26

Can you look into your hearing instructions and see if there's a way to programme the heating so that it goes back to a lower temperature after half an hour?

MumsMetHer · 17/03/2022 11:27

*heating, not hearing

Original poster
FeelingTooHotHotHot · 17/03/2022 11:28

@Mamamia7962

Can you not put it on a timer so that it comes on for an hour before he comes home so that the house is warm for him.
I tried this, his finishing hours are often unpredictable so it didn't work well. So if it was set to come on at 2 for an hour, and he got home at half one, he'd override the auto to manual, but then it doesn't turn off.
OP posts:
CoffeeBeansGalore · 17/03/2022 11:29

Oh that's a pain.

Talipesmum · 17/03/2022 11:29

We recently got a new hive thermostat. If you had one like this (or probably plenty of other types) he could quickly put it on to boost for 1 hour as he’s coming home - it would then go off again. Or could you programme it to be on for just a short time as he gets home in the small hours?

I agree that it’s daft and he should just get into bed with an electric blanket, but if he’s insisting on putting it on, this might mitigate it being on for hours.

MangoBiscuit · 17/03/2022 11:30

@CoffeeBeansGalore

Can you set the heating to come on 30 mins before he gets home so he walks into a warm house, but also set it to go off within an hour. He then won't need to turn it on & leave it on. Should stop him covering up the kids too much as well. Can his electric blanket go on a timer plug so again it's warm for him to get into bed, but goes off within an hour, & hopefully not get so warm it disturbs you.
This!

You can get smart plugs for less than £10 that connect to your wifi. You can set timers, conditions, and control from your phone.

Peasock · 17/03/2022 11:32

Set it for the earliest he might be home, midnight or something for an hour- the house should keep warm for when he's home. Hopefully the weather will change soon and it won't be needed at night.

tealandteal · 17/03/2022 11:33

Do you have a boost option? We can put the heating on for a fixed period of time. Ours is set to 30 mins.

Thehonestybox · 17/03/2022 11:33

Agree to compromise on a temperature the house should be kept at. Coming home from work to a cosy warm house is something we all look forward to. How about 18C, and then he can use the blanket?

MangoBiscuit · 17/03/2022 11:37

Why is he putting on the heating, just to go to bed? If he was staying up for a bit, I totally understand him wanting the room he's in to be warm. But if he's climbing straight into bed, surely there's no point?

JauntyJinty · 17/03/2022 11:42

Could it be worth paying out for a smart thermostat? After aquick google they cost £150-£200ish I'm not sure what they are including fitting but if your bills already up £135/month and with bigger rises on the way it will represent a saving. It would mean he can set it to come on from his phone so the house will be warm for him and shut off after an hour so it's not on all night

MushroomCow99 · 17/03/2022 11:46

Well that £200 will be nearly £350 pushing £400 a month if he continues through the price increase.
If he has a heated blanket and extra duvets surely he doesn't need the heating on as well? That would piss me off but I hate being hot through the night.

Glittertwins · 17/03/2022 11:49

I echo the smart thermostat- he could boost it for 30mins before he leaves work so he doesn't come into a cold house.

Useranon1 · 17/03/2022 12:10

What does he say when you talk to him about it?

parietal · 17/03/2022 12:13

our regular thermostat has a 'boost' button that gives you one extra hour of heat. that is what you need.

Original poster
FeelingTooHotHotHot · 17/03/2022 12:41

You can get smart plugs for less than £10 that connect to your wifi. You can set timers, conditions, and control from your phone.

I had forgotten these existed! Definitely going to get one of these for the blanket! Thank you!

OP posts:
Original poster
FeelingTooHotHotHot · 17/03/2022 12:45

@MangoBiscuit

Why is he putting on the heating, just to go to bed? If he was staying up for a bit, I totally understand him wanting the room he's in to be warm. But if he's climbing straight into bed, surely there's no point?
He genuinely thinks DC will get hypothermia, he grew up cold and hungry and it's stayed with him. He thinks he's right and I'm cruel for keeping it cold and will make DC ill with frostbite.

My DPs house was (is!) the opposite and was always too hot, we went for Christmas and I swear I got heatstroke!

OP posts:
Original poster
FeelingTooHotHotHot · 17/03/2022 12:49

@Useranon1

What does he say when you talk to him about it?
"You left the heating on, please don't leave the heating on. Reasons for not doing this include..." "yes, you've said before" "So why are you still doing it' "The house was cold, I was cold"
OP posts:
twominutesmore · 17/03/2022 12:51

I don't think you need to do anything. In a few weeks he'll get his first bill after the price cap increase and will probably decide to cut back on the heating all by himself.

If you had a Nest thermostat he could switch the heating on from the app as he left work, get home to a warm house and turn it off before getting into bed.

But to be honest I think it's quite endearing. Unless you are struggling financially as a consequence of course.

DuckyNoMates · 17/03/2022 12:51

I guess if it's his money he can spend it how he wants. What a waste though.

Geranium1984 · 17/03/2022 12:52

We have a 'boost' button which puts the heating on for an hour if its not within the scheduled period. Or could you set the timer so its on half an hr before and after he comes home.
It's his house too but don't think it needs to be on for hours if you're all asleep.