To be miffed DH keeps putting the heating on?

[FeelingTooHotHotHot]

He gets in from work in the small hours, he then puts the electric blanket on (on his side of the bed), sticks the heating on and turns it up to 20° (so the house warms up quickly) but then gets in bed and falls asleep. He's also taken to putting an extra quilt on top of DC.

The heating can be on then for several hours until I get up. So the house is baking, DC has kicked their blankets off or are sweating profusely under two quilts plus fleece blanket. Quite often the heat coming from his side of the bed wakes me up and I either have to wake him to turn it off, or get out of bed and then it off myself.

Our gas/electric bill has gone up from 100 to 235 last month. I want to hide the heating controller but can't quite bring myself to do that as it feels really controlling.

I don't want him to be cold but it's getting ridiculous. Will admit that I put the heating on as a last resort. I hate being cold but DC and I use blankets (electric and normal) hot water bottles and each have an oodie. He thinks the house should be warm and then walk around in a t-shirt.

What would you do?

Well it sounds like you need thermostatic radiator valves in the bedrooms, set at whatever’s comfortable in bed - 18 degrees or whatever. So it won’t matter if the heatings on or off when he comes in. Really you should have them everywhere (bar 1) And a smart thermostat that’ll turn the heating off after a predetermined time. It’s not as if heating only has 2 settings…on and off, is it? If that’s how you use it no wonder it’s expensive.. We used to have unused bedrooms at a low temperature - probably the equivalent of 15 or 16 degrees, our bedroom at 18, downstairs rooms at 21, except dining room, which was 18 unless we were using it and an overall thermostat / timer in the hall. Whacking that up to 25 degrees would turn the heating on, but none of the rooms would go above the pre-set temperatures anyway, and at some point the hall would hit 25 and the heating would go off.

Let him briefly turn it on , when you work nights your body temperature drops at about 2am which feels awful.

The idea temperature for sleep for most people is around 16-18 degrees so it's possible that if you really aren't putting the heating on much at all, that the house really is far too cold.

Can you work out how to program the heating to go on at 21 for three hours (2am-5am) after not being on for most of the evening, then it would gradually lower to around 18 for several hours after that.

@Tryingtokeepgoing

Well it sounds like you need thermostatic radiator valves in the bedrooms, set at whatever’s comfortable in bed - 18 degrees or whatever. So it won’t matter if the heatings on or off when he comes in. Really you should have them everywhere (bar 1) And a smart thermostat that’ll turn the heating off after a predetermined time. It’s not as if heating only has 2 settings…on and off, is it? If that’s how you use it no wonder it’s expensive.. We used to have unused bedrooms at a low temperature - probably the equivalent of 15 or 16 degrees, our bedroom at 18, downstairs rooms at 21, except dining room, which was 18 unless we were using it and an overall thermostat / timer in the hall. Whacking that up to 25 degrees would turn the heating on, but none of the rooms would go above the pre-set temperatures anyway, and at some point the hall would hit 25 and the heating would go off.

Our heating does indeed have two settings, on and off at however hot you set it to be. We live in a two up two down terrace which is old but well insulated, so the heating really doesn't need to be on at all unless it's particularly cold weather.

Ill look into thermostatic radiator valves, I've never heard of them, thank you. Although I wonder how DH would feel about them. He'd still want to bedrooms to be hot. And downstairs while he's sat in it.

I'll do some research into nest/hive and see if I can have that installed, although it might take him a bit of convincing if it's expensive. Other than that, I'll aim to convince him to use the gas fire while he's in the front room, and get a timer plug for the electric blanket.

@veevee04

Let him briefly turn it on , when you work nights your body temperature drops at about 2am which feels awful.

He is absolutely welcome to briefly turn it on. An hour or so would do the trick.

The problem is he gets in bed and falls asleep with the heating on, and the electric blanket on.

My heating system had a thing where you could hit a button and it just went on for an hour, could you have something like that so he can hit it when he gets in and will turn itself off?

Yanbu, being uncomfortably hot is just as unpleasant (more, for some of us) than being cold, even without the money and environmental considerations.

As he pays for everything it's his money to burn, but with rising prices he will start to notice it soon

Jesus Christ.

Ge him an electric blanket with a timer. On ours you can choose the heat setting as well as when you'd like it to switch off.

My DH was like that. It turned out he had depression. He started on Prozac and never did it again!

@Libertybear80

My DH was like that. It turned out he had depression. He started on Prozac and never did it again!

He's already on Prozac. He won't seek any further medical intervention than that, I've spent years trying to convince him some therapy would be beneficial.

I've been up over an hour now because he left that electric blanket on when he fell asleep and it was Mordor levels of hot.

It's every day this week now and im exhausted so I clearly need to do something as he's not inclined to remember.

He sometimes has a drink when he gets in, which I hadn't previously thought about there being a correlation with. But a can or two of Guinness drunk in quick succession probably isn't improving his brain power.

@veevee04

That's unbelievably tight I have my heating on at 23 degrees all the time. It's bloody miserable being cold but I was brought up in a house as a chils where my father never put the heating on and there was damp and cold I used to cry as it was cold . Just let him put it on for a couple of hours I would rather eat beans on toast every night than have a cold house.

Seriously?

Firstly, 23 C day and night is ridiculously warm, possibly dangerously so for babies and older people at risk of cot death/heat stroke. Plus most people would find it uncomfortably hot so it's a complete waste of money and big 'fuck you' to the environment to use that much heating.

There are recommendations for safe, sustainable temperatures to heat a house to (18-21 C in the daytime, 16 C at night time) and if you're cold at those temperatures, it's totally normal, not some sort of Victorian parsimony, to put a jumper on.

Plus secondly, read the room. Millions more people are at risk of fuel poverty, huge debt and facing stark choices over the coming months due to the increase in energy prices, and a lot of people haven't even felt the impact of higher prices yet as many are yet to see their direct debits increase by the amount needed to cover the new higher rates. It probably won't hit in full until next winter and people have had a few months of paying direct debits 2-3 times larger than they have been and then it will hit a lot of people hard.

Anyway, back to the OP, it sounds like you've found a workable solution where your DH will get the heat he wants without boiling the rest of the family in their beds with money you either don't have or at least would rather spend on something more fun than heat you don't actually need.

If he cuts out the booze you will be able to afford more heating

Even if you don't go as complex as hive-type controls, you can change the controller box to one that is more controllable. Ours has a one hour booster button, which we use a fair bit. This would work well for him I think.

@DuckyNoMates

If he cuts out the booze you will be able to afford more heating

He gets given the drink free from work.

I'm pretty sure the house doesn't warm up more quickly because it's set for 20 degrees. The boiler stays on until the house gets to the set temperature and then goes off.

This clip from Peep Show explains:

Honestly some of the replies on this thread…

OP has said multiple times that she doesn’t want him to not be warm, but that she doesn’t want the heating left on all night and doesn’t feel the rest of them should have to be overheated just because he can’t be arsed to switch off the heating and electric blanket.

As for putting extra duvets on the kids at night, this is unacceptable in any way shape or form. Nowhere in the UK is it so cold that people are routinely dying of hyperthermia. if the kids had no duvets at all that would be one thing. But they do, and OP has said that they’re too hot with extra layers.

I am at people having their heating on all night. Have people never heard of duvets and hot water bottles? No wonder people are getting such astronomical heating bills. There is absolutely no reason for having heating on all night if you have a duvet. If you’re cold under the duvet, buy a warmer one, get a hot water bottle, or warm pyjamas.

As for the electric blanket, I would give him an ultimatum. Either the blanket goes on a timer or he switches it off when he gets into bed, or sleep in seperate beds.

@CoverYourselfInChocolateGlory

I'm pretty sure the house doesn't warm up more quickly because it's set for 20 degrees. The boiler stays on until the house gets to the set temperature and then goes off.

This clip from Peep Show explains:

Brilliant! He is quite Jez like in this. And unfortunately, I definitely recognize myself in Mark there!

Dual control electric blanket sounds like it would be perfect for you. You could keep your side turned down.

@BirdWatch

Dual control electric blanket sounds like it would be perfect for you. You could keep your side turned down.

The electric blanket is only on his side. If I'm cold when I get in bed I usually wear my oodie and have a hot water bottle for my feet.

@AlternativePerspective

Honestly some of the replies on this thread…

OP has said multiple times that she doesn’t want him to not be warm, but that she doesn’t want the heating left on all night and doesn’t feel the rest of them should have to be overheated just because he can’t be arsed to switch off the heating and electric blanket.

As for putting extra duvets on the kids at night, this is unacceptable in any way shape or form. Nowhere in the UK is it so cold that people are routinely dying of hyperthermia. if the kids had no duvets at all that would be one thing. But they do, and OP has said that they’re too hot with extra layers.

I am at people having their heating on all night. Have people never heard of duvets and hot water bottles? No wonder people are getting such astronomical heating bills. There is absolutely no reason for having heating on all night if you have a duvet. If you’re cold under the duvet, buy a warmer one, get a hot water bottle, or warm pyjamas.

As for the electric blanket, I would give him an ultimatum. Either the blanket goes on a timer or he switches it off when he gets into bed, or sleep in seperate beds.

Thank you! I think a lot of posters think I'm intent on freezing him.

Does he have the correct protective clothing for work?
My DH works in a warehouse with an ambient and a cold chain area. As a manager he's also expected to check the loading bays and yard . It can be very cold but his employer provides fleeces, snoods, gloves, hi vis jackets, protective footwear.

This thread got weird

So many people failing to read and writing odd things

I think whilst the bill will go up considerably your OH is a caring and considerate bloke you are lucky to have him imo,just wait until the next bill comes in he may change his habits.

Interestingly though OP the pole doesn’t match the answers. So clearly you’re not unreasonable no matter what the people who have felt compelled to say you are say.