To find the school run relentlessly exhausting

[Longcovid21]

I will admit I feel a little under the weather at the moment and the school runs always fall to me (single parent). However I find the school runs absolutely exhausting. Other mums and dads don't look as broken as I feel. From waking up, cajoling to get dressed, recharging bags with packed lunch, fruit, water , getting them off screens which they sneak back on to as soon as my back is turned. Getting them to eat breakfast. Getting them in the car. Nag nag nag. Then rinse and repeat every day. They are 10 and 6 so the older one is a bit more independent but it's still exhausting for me. I work full time but am exhausted before I even start. I can't eat breakfast until they're in school as its too stressful. Also getting myself ready and making sure I look decent. Does anyone actually find the school run manageable or dare I say it enjoyable? What's your secret?

I do like the school run (sorry) if devices are an issue can you use parental controls to restrict them to not being able to go on them until a certain time. My children can't use tablets until 8am, by which time they are up, dressed, breakfasted, washed and I've packed lunches etc. We do homework at 7.30am. Then i get 30 mins to sit with a coffee, put on a load of laundry, answer school pain stuff etc. I know they're ready and I can get my head ready for the day.

Keep the devices in a laptop bag or such until they are actually ready as well?

I know that must sound unbearably smug, but that's just how it works in my house. I do have an older teen who hates getting up etc but it's an age where I apply consequences to not being in school or in being late etc.

I find the school run exhausting too. My ds is 8 but has likely ADD so has no sense of urgency whatsoever, and struggles with transitions.

I’m not well at the moment either, and a single Mum, and it’s killing me this week. I just think about how easy life would be without the school run (and bedtimes, but that’s another thread)

The two biggest changes I can see to help is packing bags the night before (get them to help) and keep all devices well out of reach if they are a source of issues.

Get rid of the devices in the morning. TV only and that's once they are ready.

They're 10&6 so more than capable of doing the majority themselves.

Prep as much as possible the night before.

No pack lunches and no car, walking, so not so much stress

Lunches and bags packed the night before. No telly or devices before school. No nagging, if they are late they need to deal with the consequences at school- explain this before hand.

Used to be a single full
Time working mum Aswell @Longcovid21

It's shit at times and you feel like your chasing your ass.

I did pack ups and got the dc to help
Organise bags pe kits etc the night before.

I'd set my alarm to get up earlier than them by half an hour so I could have a quick shower to wake myself up and get myself ready.

I always found it easier if I was already done before the kids.

No devices were allowed until they were dressed brekkie drink teeth done etc and they had a spare ten mins before we had to leave.

Doing it that way made them get up and ready quicker.

Oh god - hide the devices when they go to bed. Put them in a box next to your bed. Only once dressed fed and watered do they get them.

Lunches - can you pack them the night before?

Yes I never anticipated this aspect of parenting being so miserable. I dread it. Will rejoice the day it's all over!

. I just think about how easy life would be without the school run (and bedtimes, but that’s another

Yes bedtimes too!!

We get a much as possible ready the night before, uniform laid out, book bags packed, homework done, any extra school stuff sorted (pound in an envelope, 13 purple buttons...etc), all ready so that they just have to eat and get dressed. I make their lunches whilst they eat, they tidy away breakfast stuff. TV can go on when they are ready to go, no gaming in the morning. I do get that it's all made much, much easier for me because I finish at 3 so they're home at 3.45 so do a lot of the sorting and homework etc then.

Can they not eat school lunches? Why make more work for yourself

As much bag prep the night before as possible eg water bottles full.

Putting controls on devices so that they can't be turned on until after school would be my first move tbh.

Yes I never anticipated this aspect of parenting being so miserable. I dread it. Will rejoice the day it's all over!

Yes my thoughts exactly!
Some good tips above which I will try to follow!

Totally feel for you, getting my DD to club at 7.30am so I could do the hours commute was exhausting, I felt like I'd done a days work before I even sat at my desk.

Great advice in the thread. I had to be military about it, you don't get any tv or iPad until everything was done including shoes on so we were ready to go. If she didn't want to eat breakfast fine, I'm not going to fight over a round of toast you'll have to wait until break.

Zero screens in the morning. Soon as we made that change it made for a more calmer experience. Clothes laid out ready, packed lunch made night before etc So it's eat breakfast , wash / teeth, get dressed . Whilst getting dressed I'll do the water bottle and fruit .

I will have to work out how to put extra controls on the devices. I'm not very good at that stuff.

Physically move them out the way. No controls required. Or unplug and hide wires if they are plugged in consoles.

No screens at all before school. That’s really important OP. They need to go to school with a fresh, rested brain that hasn’t already been overstimulated before they’ve left the house.

I set up all bags, coats, shoes, kits, snacks etc the night before so each child just has to grab and go.

I make mine get dressed before they come down for breakfast too. That helps.

I also have toothbrushes and flannels in the downstairs loo for them to brush teeth and wash faces after breakfast. Then it’s in the car and go.

I get ready very quickly while they eat breakfast. I don’t shower first, just get dressed, wash my face and slap a bit of tinted moisturiser on. I’m not looking to impress anyone on the school run and I’m coming straight home afterwards.

Could you incorporate any of this?

I agree. We banned screens before school as it definitely made mornings worse. If they are not on screens they are more focused on getting ready.

Enjoy the school run haha!! No. Although I don't physically take them 4 days a week I do have to get a 6, 4 and 1 year old up, dressed, fed and ready to go and myself ready to be at my desk for 7.30am. My husband does breakfast, lunches and helps them to wash, I sort uniforms/clothes, get then dressed, do hair and get bags/coats. Even 50/50 it's a drag. No one enjoys it, not if you are working full-time and dashing to be places. We have a no TV rule unless they are ready with time to spare, then they can have 10min whilst they wait, doesn't happen often.

I’m the same (but it’s easier lately).

It’s compounded by the fact I am not a morning person. I get up and hour before the kids to just sit, drink tea, read the news, let the dog out, in peace. I get myself up before them too. But I’m clock watching for the moment and minutes left to start the morning dance.

But me getting up before then is waaaaay easier and my stress levels are less now and seems to be making the whole thing less “wound up”

I was like a sergeant major before shouting times and minutes remaining…

I thing the iPads downstairs they are like dogs in a scent chasing them.

I’ve stopped stressing about if we are actually late by 2 mins (occasionally if someone has to go to the loo and 6yo sits there for 20 mins - what can you do!!)

I was also a single parent. My two walked to their primary school (200 yards) without me, and got the school bus to their secondary school (15 miles) ditto.
They knew I was a doctor and had to be at my hospital on time, and that I wouldn’t tolerate any nonsense in the mornings.
You are the adult here, OP. I think you need to take control and command some respect, establishing an efficient morning routine that works for you, not the DC’s wish to dally about.

Do everything you can the night before, lunches made, bags packed, uniforms ready
, and remove their screens till they’re ready in the morning

No screens on a morning including tv. Makes so much difference. Soon as a screen goes on mine are just so slow and uncooperative. Give it a week of no screens you’ll soon notice the difference.