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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To find the school run relentlessly exhausting

327 replies

Longcovid21 · 16/03/2022 09:21

I will admit I feel a little under the weather at the moment and the school runs always fall to me (single parent). However I find the school runs absolutely exhausting. Other mums and dads don't look as broken as I feel. From waking up, cajoling to get dressed, recharging bags with packed lunch, fruit, water , getting them off screens which they sneak back on to as soon as my back is turned. Getting them to eat breakfast. Getting them in the car. Nag nag nag. Then rinse and repeat every day. They are 10 and 6 so the older one is a bit more independent but it's still exhausting for me. I work full time but am exhausted before I even start. I can't eat breakfast until they're in school as its too stressful. Also getting myself ready and making sure I look decent. Does anyone actually find the school run manageable or dare I say it enjoyable? What's your secret?

OP posts:

Angrywife · 17/03/2022 21:25

Our mornings and school runs were pretty stress free but I still hated them.
Youngest has just turned 18 and I would give anything to be able to walk to school with them holding my hand again 😔

Newbeginnings90 · 17/03/2022 21:27

@Angrywife

Our mornings and school runs were pretty stress free but I still hated them. Youngest has just turned 18 and I would give anything to be able to walk to school with them holding my hand again 😔

Thanks for this reminder ☺️ 💓

cocktailclub · 17/03/2022 21:27

Organisation is key to the school run.

But how glad was I when it finally stopped.

CelestiaNoctis · 17/03/2022 21:28

Everything ready the night before. No screens in the morning. Bribe and reward later if they get their shit together and go with no issue and fuss, then they can have something later like chocolate or extra screen time or something in the future. Luckily daddy can take them in the morning and I do afternoons but we both absolutely hate it. I find it so awkward with the other parents and just want to get in and out but so many walk the same way as me and their kid speak to mine and blahdjfkfkfkg. You're not alone. Exhausting on every level.

RedSoloCup · 17/03/2022 21:31

Absolutely no devices before school - all are put away when they go to bed at night and not returned - plus as much as possible done the night before - drinks, lunches, uniform ready, envelopes with money needed etc...

Breakfast eaten and dressed before TV goes on (SIL didn't even allow TV).

Might sound harsh but it's much more stress free!!

ufucoffee · 17/03/2022 21:52

I was a single parent working full time and I had children to drop off at different schools before driving on to work. Our mornings were like a military operation. There was no TV or anything allowed, no distractions. Everyone knew what they were meant to be doing at what time. If they messed up they missed breakfast and had fruit in the car. I ironed school shirts every morning too and washed and blow dryed my hair, then did full make up. It's just organisation, getting some stuff ready the night before and sticking to the plan. Hectic but not exhausting.

Blueink · 18/03/2022 01:20

Take away & hide devices and return them in the car or earlier as a treat when they are BOTH ready. You are making life hard by not fostering independence and giving the older one some responsibility for the younger one.
Unless I’m missing something, the 10 year can get themselves & the younger one ready (eg cereal, packing bags the night b4) both can dress themselves (in the clothes hung up the night b4)
School meals instead of pack lunches - they may be eligible for free meals?
You can then focus on getting yourself ready
If possible walk/scoot to school to get endorphins & vit D.
The way it is now is tough and it doesn’t have to be.

Watchamocauli · 18/03/2022 04:59

There is some really good advice on this thread. I’ve just come here to say...I feel the your pain. Our school isn't local so 45 min round trip each way adds to getting dressed and cajoling my child to hurry.

Middersweekly · 18/03/2022 07:43

Oh gosh yes OP I couldn’t agree with you more.
After doing school runs for 15 years I’m so over it! I remember when DC were small I used to do all their packed lunches the night before and lay all their uniforms/ nursery attire out the night before. It was like a military operation honestly (there were 4 of them) I’ve now only got one DC to do the school run for as the others are either adults or old enough to get themselves too and from school! Honestly I will be so relieved when last DD gets herself to and from school. I can’t stand having to stop everything in the middle of my day to run down and pick up!

FortVictoria · 18/03/2022 07:50

No breakfast works for us. DD hates breakfast, is never hungry early in the morning, it makes her feel sick, it’s a huge fight. As soon as we stopped breakfast, mornings were much better. Bags etc packed the night before, and clothes laid out. So now it is up, wash face, clean teeth, brush hair, dressed, and out the door. They have a snack at school at 10, and that suits her much better. So I send extra snacks instead. An apple and oatcakes at snack time is much healthier than sugary cereals at breakfast, and the timing works better for her.

LoisLane66 · 18/03/2022 09:10

New rules: On schooldays their screen MUST be handed over to you before each of them go to sleep and will o my be handed back after homework competed after school - no ifs or buts.
Prepare all lunch items the night before and place in fridge ready to put straight in bags in the morning.
Kid's clothes laid out night before and breakfast items out on table before you yourself go to bed.
You have to stick by the rules no matter if they whinge and they're old enough to clear the evening dinner table and re-lay it with bowls plates cutlery and cereal packets ready fur morning. All you need to do is shower, dress for work, put lynch in their bags, eat breakfast with them and drive to school. You can do your make up later.
They're old enough to understand what is needed for you all to enjoy your day.
There should be no hassle in the morning.

LoisLane66 · 18/03/2022 09:11

*only

almondfinger · 18/03/2022 09:11

Mine are older, 12 and 14. I lost it with them at some point last October. They grunted at me for waking them up. Had sour pusses on them at breakfast. Lunch was coming home and into the food bin. I was doing the Sargent major count down to getting out the door too. I pulled back. I thought is this it? Will I still be waking them and cajoling them out the door to college and then employment? (I know your 6 year old is too young yet OP). The new regime is that they both have echos so they set their own alarms. Get up. Make their breakfast and lunch and get their bags ready for whatever lessons and sports they have. Phones are locked till 8am. I get up later then them. Hang out a wash, be in the room keeping a small eye on the clock. They pretty much ignore me in the car on the way to school. I’ll survive. We have a long weekend and COVID in the house so everyone is still in bed. It bliss, apart from having bloody COVID!

LoisLane66 · 18/03/2022 09:12

Oh dear! Apologies for typos.

33goingon64 · 18/03/2022 09:16

As previous posters have said. My 2 DC (11 and 6) get themselves dressed before they come downstairs in the morning - I told them both before they started school when they were 4 that this was the deal, no arguments. They can wear PJs til lunchtime at the weekend! No screens until breakfast has been eaten (they make their own usually), teeth brushed, bags ready (they end up not having screen most mornings). If things are going well they might squeeze in a bit of homework or guitar practice. They're up at 7 and we're out the door by 8.40. The secret is to have rules that are non-negotiable. Then they buy themselves the flexibility to choose what they do once everything essential is done. Our problem is going to come in Sept when 11 year old has to be out the house a whole hour earlier for the bus. I am dreading it and may well be writing my own post asking for advice on that!

LoisLane66 · 18/03/2022 09:20

OP, you don't need to 'put extra controls' on their devices. You just need them to be handed over to you the night before and you put them where they can't be found - no discussion. You are the parent and you'll have to learn to ignore their moans.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 18/03/2022 10:51

@LoisLane66

I agree.

Dillydollydingdong · 18/03/2022 10:53

I never found it a problem when my DC were young - admittedly a long time ago. We didn't have computers or screens in those days, and no dedicated child-tv either. The DC didn't want to watch the news! So just ban screens until the evening. Easy!

worriedaboutmoney2022 · 18/03/2022 10:56

I now have mum guilt does nobody else employ a childminder???

She's my life saver from this hell on earth!!

yikesanotherbooboo · 18/03/2022 11:03

I feel very glad that screens weren't a thing for my DC when they were young.
My only advice is to have a strict routine ie up, loo, wash face( shower if so inclined) , uniform on, breakfast, teeth, sort school bag .
It helped me to get up earlier when I was finding the mornings stressful.

Catlitterqueen · 18/03/2022 17:05

Mine are past this stage but I loathed it. I had to get 2 (18months apart in age) to primary and 1 to nursery elsewhere before work.
Now that they are all old enough the primary they went to has opened a nursery. This might have easier.
Stopped screen time because DD2 would watch anything rather than clean her teeth!

fruitpastille · 19/03/2022 11:52

@worriedaboutmoney2022 I use a childminder 3 days a week but still need to get kid dressed, bag packed, lunch made etc before they go there! It's just the destination is the childminder's instead of school.

Touchmybum · 20/03/2022 02:49

@Angrywife

Our mornings and school runs were pretty stress free but I still hated them. Youngest has just turned 18 and I would give anything to be able to walk to school with them holding my hand again 😔

Youngest has just turned 18 too and will be glad to shake the dust of the school run off my feet!! I guess 21 years of school run will do that to you!! Not to mention the nursery/creche runs all those years before. I did the vast majority of them all, and worked full-time. Yes, I would love the three of them to be little again but if they were then I'd be younger and have more energy!

I wouldn't have minded the school run so much if there hadn't been so many selfish twats also on it!!

Touchmybum · 20/03/2022 02:50

@Dillydollydingdong

I did employ a childminder for years (and creche before that) but they did the pickups; I still did the dropoffs.

KELLOGSspeck · 20/03/2022 03:58

I think it sounds like you need a break OP. I have got used to the school run but I am not full time at work although a single parent too. Could you cut your hours down?

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