Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is an unacceptable text to send to a child?

323 replies

skeeshgal · 15/03/2022 19:48

My DD is 11, she has her own phone which I check regularly. Tonight I was going through her text messages and one of her cousin's friends who is 8 had text my DD last night. This particular friend is 'best friends' with my niece (DD's cousin) and they have had some falling outs as of late so my DD isn't particularly keen of her. The text exchange went as this -

Niece friend (8) - hi
DD (11) - stop you made my cousin cry so I don't want to talk to you thanks.
Niece friends mum (bloody 30 odd) - This is ** mum, my DD didn't mean to send you that. Deleting and blocking your number now.

I am absolutely fuming, my DD was polite enough - gave the girl a reason she didn't want to speak and said thank you. She is fair enough to say that. I am disgusted that a mum thinks she should insert herself into children's texts like that. Being rude towards an 11 year old. Utterly pathetic.

AIBU??

OP posts:
LittleMousewithcloggson · 15/03/2022 21:43

YABU
All your daughter had to do was ignore the message
By answering she sounded rude
Other mum solved both problems by not getting involved in an argument and stopping any further contact

Lesperance · 15/03/2022 21:43

@skeeshgal

My daughter is 11. This woman is 30 odd. That's my point. Big difference
Well one of them is a parent, doing their job, and the other is an 11 year old who has got exactly what she asked for. To not be communicate with another child. I don't see what the problem is. Were you hoping for more drama? The adult in the situation has taken over and solved a potential problem. This is good. This is what parents do.
CheshireCats · 15/03/2022 21:44

Massive overreaction on your part op. Buckle up for the next few years of teenage fun and games!

TabithaTittlemouse · 15/03/2022 21:45

@ItsLisaLou

YABU.

But also, you read all your daughter’s messages??? She’s 11 and presumably in secondary school, bit creepy.

She’s a child.

I’m guessing that you have really young children?

grapewines · 15/03/2022 21:45

This is weird. Your child doesn't want to talk to the other child, and her mum made that easier for her - at the same time telling her that, if she did try to message the younger child, her messages would go unanswered. What exactly is the problem? Did you just want the last word? Sounds like it.

Fuming? Disgusting? Good grief.

Lesperance · 15/03/2022 21:45

In fact, the mother is confirming that her daughter doesn't want to talk to yours either. Now they can't, because she has deleted and blocked. Good result. Well done, that parent, is what you should be saying. It's not a mean message. You child has been heard. You should be pleased. Now teach her how to delete and block somebody too.

Bizawit · 15/03/2022 21:45

Your DD sent an (unprovoked) mean text to a child significantly younger than her. I think the mum was absolutely right to block her number. And her text wasn’t rude, it was factual , and reasonable to share the information.

RosieCockle · 15/03/2022 21:47

Yeah, it's all somebody else's fault. Not that your child could do anything wrong and someone tried to put a stop to it in a sensible way without escalating the situation.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 15/03/2022 21:47

"Niece friends mum (bloody 30 odd) "

What an overreaction.

LuckySantangelo35 · 15/03/2022 21:49

Get a grip OP! And tell your daughter to get one whilst you're at it

Twitterwhooooo · 15/03/2022 21:50

I think it's entirely appropriate that an 8 year old's mum a. read her daughter's phone messages and b. took action to stop what sounds like what could be an inflammatory exchange from escalating.

You dd said that she didn't want to speak with dn.

I don't understand why she, or you, are upset tbh.

Cas112 · 15/03/2022 21:51

Jesus OP, mountain/molehill and all that. The mums just stopped it from escalating that's all. It's a none issue, don't let it get to you

aghhinlaws · 15/03/2022 21:51

I think your dd's response was quite rude and mean tbh especially towards a 8 yo. The mum made it easier for your dd though because she said stop and don't talk to her so in return she blocked and deleted your dd's number. I don't understand what else were they meant to do? Frame your daughters number and worship it?

Twitterwhooooo · 15/03/2022 21:53

Actually, looking again at your OP, is your dd even upset or is it just you 'fuming'?

Sounds like the other mum decided to stop phone contact between her daughter and yours, which sounds quite sensible in the circumstances that you describe.

You don't like this other mum very much, do you?

Starlightstarbright1 · 15/03/2022 21:54

@skeeshgal

My daughter is 11. This woman is 30 odd. That's my point. Big difference
There is a big difference between 8 and 11 too.

I also of the opinion mum did the right thing ensuring no further contact..

If she didn't say she was blockng your dd may have thought she was blockers by 8 year old.

ineedsun · 15/03/2022 21:55

You have one side of the story. From another perspective, an older child is siding with someone who her daughter has fallen out with, bullying by exclusion.

She’s encouraging her child to not engage with the drama. Seems sensible.

FantasticFebruary · 15/03/2022 21:57

You are over sensitive.

Strap up, it's gonna be bumpy!! You've got years of pre teen/teen phone drama.

ItsLisaLou · 15/03/2022 21:59

@TabithaTittlemouse Ha, no I don’t, I’m 28 and don’t have any, but when I was 11 I had my own mobile, and (thank god) my parents gave me the privacy I deserved. Do you sit in on your kids’ face-to-face conversations and police those too?

Out of interest, what do you think would have happened if the mothers hadn’t intervened (which they messed up by the way)? My hunch is the kids would have figured things out eventually, as we all do with literally every form of communication and life stage.

Regularsizedrudy · 15/03/2022 22:01

Your daughter was mean to a much younger child. The child’s mother put a stop to the contact.

Bromse · 15/03/2022 22:08

@skeeshgal

'Deleting and blocking your number now' as if my DD were the one causing trouble when it was her daughter that text in the first place.
Oh don't be silly, she didn't mean that. She was just putting a 'full stop' on the conversation which was quite sensible in my opinion.

Might be best if your daughter stays out of her younger cousin's friendships.

LetHimHaveIt · 15/03/2022 22:09

'YABU.

But also, you read all your daughter’s messages??? She’s 11 and presumably in secondary school, bit creepy.'

Ffs. 'Creepy' is rapidly becoming the new 'grabby', although it at least has the distinction of being a real word. It'd only be 'creepy' if a parent had a prurient interest in her eleven-year-old daughter's messages. Hardly likely, is it?

Squeezita · 15/03/2022 22:10

YANBU, the mum is clearly lying, her child did mean to text your dd.

Some adults really don’t like it when children (particularly girls) assert their rights and this is was this woman’s way of putting your dd back in her box.

Block and delete.

MrsLighthouse · 15/03/2022 22:12

Kids and phones. Always drama. You . Clearly dramatic. Maybe drop the drama all round?

LetHimHaveIt · 15/03/2022 22:16

OP's daughter could've 'asserted her right' 🙄 not to talk to the eight-year-old by, er, not talking to her. The message was snippy and unnecessary and if she was 'put back in her box', it was deservedly so.

'Block and delete' 🤣

Lizzy1980 · 15/03/2022 22:17

The 8 year old is the best behaved of all of you by the sound of it 😂

Swipe left for the next trending thread