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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is an unacceptable text to send to a child?

323 replies

skeeshgal · 15/03/2022 19:48

My DD is 11, she has her own phone which I check regularly. Tonight I was going through her text messages and one of her cousin's friends who is 8 had text my DD last night. This particular friend is 'best friends' with my niece (DD's cousin) and they have had some falling outs as of late so my DD isn't particularly keen of her. The text exchange went as this -

Niece friend (8) - hi
DD (11) - stop you made my cousin cry so I don't want to talk to you thanks.
Niece friends mum (bloody 30 odd) - This is ** mum, my DD didn't mean to send you that. Deleting and blocking your number now.

I am absolutely fuming, my DD was polite enough - gave the girl a reason she didn't want to speak and said thank you. She is fair enough to say that. I am disgusted that a mum thinks she should insert herself into children's texts like that. Being rude towards an 11 year old. Utterly pathetic.

AIBU??

OP posts:
LoganberryJam · 15/03/2022 19:57

OP, surely you can see that the text from your DD wouldn't have been very nice for an 8yo to receive (even if it may be true)?

Lambanddog · 15/03/2022 19:57

What? ConfusedHmm

YouHaveYourFathersBreasts · 15/03/2022 19:57

The mum wasn’t rude was she? Your daughter said she didn’t want to talk to this kid, the mum has now deleted and blocked her. Sorted. When I started reading this I was expecting a lot worse, swearing etc.

biggreenhouse · 15/03/2022 19:57

the mum has ensured your daughters request is met .. seems fine ?

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 15/03/2022 19:58

I don't see what the mum did wrong. And tbh I'm wondering why your daughter is inserting herself into the issue between two friends. If the girl didn't have a falling out with your DD, why is she responding like that. Why not just not respond at all? Your daughter was actually quite rude to the younger child.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 15/03/2022 19:58

She wasn’t rude and I think the mum was absolutely right to step in and manage the text messages. There quite a developmental gap between an 8 and an 11 year old you should be teaching your dd how to not escalate these things. I wouldn’t call your dd’s message polite.

narcdad · 15/03/2022 19:58

No I'd not be fuming I'd be pleased the other mum took action to stop escalating texts, big difference between an 8yo and 11yo

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 15/03/2022 19:58

Why did she need to say to an 11 year old that she was deleting and blocking her number? Why not just do it if not to cause upset?

Why did your daughter feel the need to get involved in her friends argument? She could have just ignored and blocked the number.

Are you always this dramatic Hmm

spidersenses · 15/03/2022 19:58

I agree. An unnecessarily rude and hurtful thing to say to a child. No need to mention she was deleting or blocking your child's number. Blocking is excessive as well. And I would take it that some blame is being cast at your child.

ReadyToMoveIt · 15/03/2022 19:58

@skeeshgal

Why did she need to say to an 11 year old that she was deleting and blocking her number? Why not just do it if not to cause upset?
Your daughter said she didn’t want to talk to the young child, so her mum said she’d block the number so there was no further contact.
CruCru · 15/03/2022 19:59

It may be that the niece’s friend has been given a phone to use to and from school (if the bus doesn’t turn up) and to contact her close friends. She probably isn’t allowed to contact people she doesn’t know well.

Your daughter is not well known to her and is much older. It sounds like your daughter is a sensible girl but I could imagine a situation where being in the habit of contacting much older people who aren’t well known could get a bit weird.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 15/03/2022 19:59

You’re being completely unreasonable.

trevthecat · 15/03/2022 19:59

It's a slow night on here tonight!

Getoffmyshoes · 15/03/2022 19:59

I think your daughter was pretty rude and what the mum said was fine - seems like she was trying to stop the situation escalating

Chocomelon · 15/03/2022 19:59

No I don’t find it unacceptable, your dd stated she no longer wanted to be friends and her mother advised her number would be blocked to ensure no more contact would happen.

This

AppropriateAdult · 15/03/2022 20:00

Don’t think the mum’s message was rude in the slightest Confused
Preventing further contact between tween frenemies seems sensible. (Not giving her 8yo a phone in the first place would have been even more sensible but what can you do?)

ntsure · 15/03/2022 20:00

The child is 8, that’s a lot younger than 11 tbh your daughter should have just ignored her. I think her mum was perfectly reasonable to send that message she probably doesn’t want her 8 year old messaging with 11 year olds anyway

Original poster
skeeshgal · 15/03/2022 20:00

@spidersenses

I agree. An unnecessarily rude and hurtful thing to say to a child. No need to mention she was deleting or blocking your child's number. Blocking is excessive as well. And I would take it that some blame is being cast at your child.
Precisely
OP posts:
Turningpurple · 15/03/2022 20:00

To be fair you could say your dd was quite mean to a much younger child because the younger child fell out with their friend.

Surely at 11, she knows they will fall out and be fine very shortly.

ldontWanna · 15/03/2022 20:01

So if she had blocked her without saying anything you wouldn't also be fuming about that?

Here's the thing

1.If it was mum she was letting your DD know she is monitoring use and that her DD won't bother yours anymore to stop any of this escalating.

  1. It could've actually been the kid pretending to be her mum.

3.If the kid hasn't actually been horrible to your DD ,then she shouldn't get involved. If there are issues ,that's between the two girls and their parents to sort out. I bet you wouldn't like it if a 14 yo told your DD off for falling out with her friends.

WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 15/03/2022 20:01

@skeeshgal

Why did she need to say to an 11 year old that she was deleting and blocking her number? Why not just do it if not to cause upset?
Your dd made it clear she didn't want to talk to the kid anyway, so there's no issue at all (besides you overreacting to a perfectly fine message in response to a pretty snippy message from your dd)
FAQs · 15/03/2022 20:01

@trevthecat

It's a slow night on here tonight!
Yep!
Thehop · 15/03/2022 20:02

I actually think your daughter was the rude one!

FreyaMaya · 15/03/2022 20:03

Your daughter is secondary school age. Tell her to get over it!

Peachy7 · 15/03/2022 20:03

Deleting and blocking your number- perhaps so her child doesn't accidentally message yours again.
This is why texts are back, they can easily be taken in the wrong context