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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is an unacceptable text to send to a child?

323 replies

skeeshgal · 15/03/2022 19:48

My DD is 11, she has her own phone which I check regularly. Tonight I was going through her text messages and one of her cousin's friends who is 8 had text my DD last night. This particular friend is 'best friends' with my niece (DD's cousin) and they have had some falling outs as of late so my DD isn't particularly keen of her. The text exchange went as this -

Niece friend (8) - hi
DD (11) - stop you made my cousin cry so I don't want to talk to you thanks.
Niece friends mum (bloody 30 odd) - This is ** mum, my DD didn't mean to send you that. Deleting and blocking your number now.

I am absolutely fuming, my DD was polite enough - gave the girl a reason she didn't want to speak and said thank you. She is fair enough to say that. I am disgusted that a mum thinks she should insert herself into children's texts like that. Being rude towards an 11 year old. Utterly pathetic.

AIBU??

OP posts:
Downton57 · 15/03/2022 22:18

An 8 year old girl says hi. Your daughter tells her to stop talking. The 'thanks' isn't added for politeness, so please don't pretend to yourself your girl was being well mannered. The younger girl's Mum sees the text and decides the best course of action is to block your daughter. I'd have done the same and I'm guessing most parents would too. What actions would you have preferred her to take? What would have made you fume less? Think about that calmly for a little while.

Happylittlethoughts · 15/03/2022 22:21

I've read and re-read your OP . I'm failing to see anything at all to be angry about. This girl text "Hi" and your daughter told her not to text. Her Mum was checking phone and said it won't happen again and blocked.
🤣🤣🤣wtf is wrong!?!

AryaStarkWolf · 15/03/2022 22:24

Yabu

arethereanyleftatall · 15/03/2022 22:28

It surely would be far ruder to block someone without telling them why?

Yabu.

But anyway. Tell us what else makes you fuming op. I've got a glass of wine all ready here.

goodnightgrumble · 15/03/2022 22:28

You asked for opinions OP but don't really want them??

Scianel · 15/03/2022 22:29

Like mother like daugher. Yes I mean you.

HoveringDonkeyofKnock · 15/03/2022 22:32

Your DD was a bit rude. The 8 year olds’s mum could see they don’t get on and so made it clear she was putting a stop to it.
I don’t see how you can blame her for getting involved with her 8 year old’s conversation when you’re there going through your 11 year old’s messages.
Also your DD was getting involved in someone else’s argument!

Tdcp · 15/03/2022 22:32

Sorry op but I'm with the - your daughter was a bit rude to an 8 year old and the mum did the right thing to stop drama - camp. My daughter is almost 8 and there is a MASSIVE difference between her age and her 11 year old cousin.

theresAtablet4thatNow · 15/03/2022 22:33

None of you sound wonderful, tbh. Maybe the other mother over-reacted (as you are doing, now) in her effort to protect her daughter, but your daughter wasn't being very friendly, either. "Stop"? And PP is right that "thanks" didn't sound exactly polite, in that context.

Maybe they're all a bit too young to be texting.

TrashyPanda · 15/03/2022 22:38

Your daughter was pretty mean to the wee girl, who only texted “hi”. She didn’t have to respond at all, far less be nasty.
Her mum saw the text, and deleted and blocked the number - so no more contact, which is exactly what your kid wanted.

What’s your beef here?
Are you annoyed the other mum was proactive?
Would it make you feel,better to be the one deleting and blocking?

Holly60 · 15/03/2022 22:41

YABU. Your DD’s text was not nice and the other mum did the right thing.

TheHaveN0ts · 15/03/2022 22:43

@skeeshgal

'Deleting and blocking your number now' as if my DD were the one causing trouble when it was her daughter that text in the first place.
Grow up. They are kids.
whomoon · 15/03/2022 22:53

I definitely read it the same as you at first, that the mum was blocking your DDs number suggesting your DD was the one in the wrong. Very blunt thing to say to an 11 year old, when she could have added ‘to avoid her daughter from contacting you again’.
Poor choice of words trying to diffuse the situation, but she did the right thing and I wouldn’t worry too much more about it now, as long as you’ve explained it in the same way to your DD too.

HoveringDonkeyofKnock · 15/03/2022 22:56

On reflection I do think the other mum was expressing a bit of annoyance towards your daughter. I think your DD obviously upset her 8 year old and by putting ‘blocking your number now’ she was really saying don’t bother trying to contact again. I think that’s what you’re picking up on. But her response was still fair enough.

Pixiedust1234 · 15/03/2022 22:58

Placemarking for the deletion message. We all know that's gonna happen bc of privacy concerns

GrazingSheep · 15/03/2022 23:00

It’s good you check her phone.
Maybe it will be a lesson for her that other parents check their children’s phones too and that she needs to be mindful that messages she sends will be seen by other people. This may stand her in good stead as she gets older.

Jedsnewstar · 15/03/2022 23:03

Gold! Thanks op for the giggle!

ineedsun · 15/03/2022 23:03

@Pixiedust1234

Placemarking for the deletion message. We all know that's gonna happen bc of privacy concerns
Totally agree
OrangeIsTheNewRed · 15/03/2022 23:03

8 year old sent innocent text (although why TF she had a phone is quite another matter).

Your dd was rude.

The mum was logical and FAR more polite than your dd.

HTH

QOD · 15/03/2022 23:08

Op. Aibu ?

No - 1%
Yes - 99%

Op! I knew I was right!

Cascais · 15/03/2022 23:19

Yes

Alondra · 15/03/2022 23:24

@skeeshgal

My daughter is 11. This woman is 30 odd. That's my point. Big difference
It is a huge difference, of course you are not being unreasonable.

Don't over think this. The mother was out of line sending that message to a child like she was an adult, she should have simply blocked the number without the need to have a dig to a child.

Block her number as well just in case the daughter unblocks and tries to communicate with your DD again.

justjuggling · 15/03/2022 23:27

Yabu

CityHigh · 15/03/2022 23:37

Lmao, YABU. This made me laugh though

BikiniB0tt0m · 15/03/2022 23:44

Your little princess can do no wrong by the sound of it. Yabu