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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is an unacceptable text to send to a child?

323 replies

skeeshgal · 15/03/2022 19:48

My DD is 11, she has her own phone which I check regularly. Tonight I was going through her text messages and one of her cousin's friends who is 8 had text my DD last night. This particular friend is 'best friends' with my niece (DD's cousin) and they have had some falling outs as of late so my DD isn't particularly keen of her. The text exchange went as this -

Niece friend (8) - hi
DD (11) - stop you made my cousin cry so I don't want to talk to you thanks.
Niece friends mum (bloody 30 odd) - This is ** mum, my DD didn't mean to send you that. Deleting and blocking your number now.

I am absolutely fuming, my DD was polite enough - gave the girl a reason she didn't want to speak and said thank you. She is fair enough to say that. I am disgusted that a mum thinks she should insert herself into children's texts like that. Being rude towards an 11 year old. Utterly pathetic.

AIBU??

OP posts:
enjoyingscience · 15/03/2022 20:15

Your 11 year old was pretty rude.

ghostyslovesheets · 15/03/2022 20:16

@skeeshgal

My daughter is 11. This woman is 30 odd. That's my point. Big difference
yes - she was being a responsible mother
Cardio101 · 15/03/2022 20:16

This is hilarious.
99% of posters: YABU
1% of posters: YANBU
Op: See, someone agrees! I’m right!!!!

I’m with the 99% btw

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 15/03/2022 20:16

I think the OP has been in the Wine as no reasonably sane adult will be absolutely fuminover this.

The whole thing is just absurd and ridiculous!

NeedAHoliday2021 · 15/03/2022 20:16

Usually I’m against parents messaging children but I don’t actually have an issue with that message. Dc seem to block people all the time, bit of a non thing. Your role with a pre teen needs to be to play down the drama not run at it.

cherish123 · 15/03/2022 20:18

YABU
Not sure why you are fuming.

jytdtysrht · 15/03/2022 20:18

Yabu - she deleted your dd’s number so your dd won’t receive messages anymore - great. She also blocked your dd so she couldn’t send any more - also great - she presumably doesn’t want to anyway.

Your dd should have ignored the 8yo’s message though. Generally if you don’t have anything nice to say, then saying nothing is the best way - particularly when it’s online and can be shared.

You say that the mother’s message could be viewed as rude - but so could your dd’s.

BeHappy91818 · 15/03/2022 20:18

She did nothing wrong. Get a grip.

Sirzy · 15/03/2022 20:19

Massive over reaction on your behalf

BeHappy91818 · 15/03/2022 20:19

Your daughter was the one that was rude first. Her daughter is only 8.
She should of just ignored it.

Incognito32 · 15/03/2022 20:21

Give your head a wobble OP.

Your daughter was rude.
The other kid is 8yrs old.
Her Mum shut it down.

End of.

JennyHogon · 15/03/2022 20:22

This is exactly why children shouldn't have phones. Endless problems. OP, back off.

HemanOrSheRa · 15/03/2022 20:23

But the Mum didn't do anything wrong! She nipped the conversation in the bud after your daughter said she didn't want to speak to her daughter.

You don't know whether the Mum said to her daughter 'I told you not to text X! Give me your phone'!

WhoAre · 15/03/2022 20:23

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

R0tational · 15/03/2022 20:24

Yabvu

PatientlyWaiting21 · 15/03/2022 20:25

The girl is 8 for crying out loud!!

SalmonEile · 15/03/2022 20:26

The mother wanted your DD to know she checks her daughters phone and wanted to put a quick stop to any more conversation. Your daughter has absolutely no reason to message this girl so the mother was right to block her number , she says her girl messaged first by mistake so deleting and blocking lets your daughter know she won’t receive any more messages from the girl and no need to reply further.
Your daughters message was rude and unnecessary but I think this would be a good opportunity for you to discuss with your daughter what is and isn’t an appropriate message.

luxxlisbon · 15/03/2022 20:27

I am disgusted that a mum thinks she should insert herself into children's texts like that. Being rude towards an 11 year old. Utterly pathetic.

Of course she should ‘insert’ herself into the texts, the daughter is 8 years old.
The mum was no more rude than your niece.

UpsilonPi · 15/03/2022 20:28

8 is too young to be navigating the world of mobile phones without parental support. I am glad the parent was there for her DD.
I might have sent a similar message (I'd have stuck in a "sorry"), but I would not have mentioned deleting and blocking your daughter's number, I would have just done it.

Makeitsoso · 15/03/2022 20:29

@HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend

No I don’t find it unacceptable, your dd stated she no longer wanted to be friends and her mother advised her number would be blocked to ensure no more contact would happen.
I don’t think the mum was inappropriate either.
PourSomeLove · 15/03/2022 20:30

I think the mum did the right thing. She intervened and stopped further communication. Telling your daughter than she was deleting and blocking her number meant your daughter could be sure she wouldn’t be contacted again, which is what your daughter wanted. No issue at all.

5128gap · 15/03/2022 20:30

There's a world between 11 and 8. Your DD should not have sent that text to a child that age. If I was the mother of the 8 year old I'd have deleted and blocked your DD too, as I would be concerned that given the age differential it might be bullying. I wouldn't have texted her but I don't think its 'wrong' that she did, and at least your DD knows where she stands. Plus, she doesn't want to talk to the child, so why does it matter?

pointless12345 · 15/03/2022 20:30

@skeeshgal

Why did she need to say to an 11 year old that she was deleting and blocking her number? Why not just do it if not to cause upset?
Why is your daughter upset? She doesn't like the girl and told her she wouldn't be speaking to her. Your daughter should of just deleted and blocked her.
ReadyToMoveIt · 15/03/2022 20:31

My daughter is 8 and I’d block the number of anyone who sent her a message like that too (not that she has a phone). I probably wouldn’t tell the child, id just do it, but she wasn’t rude.

WonderfulYou · 15/03/2022 20:31

YABU

You’re 11 year old (secondary school?) is arguing with an 8 year old - if I was the girls parent I would be blocking her too.

The mum wasn’t that rude.
She was just letting your DD know she’s read the messages and the girl won’t be reading or responding to her again.

The best thing to do is send a message as the adult to show that they’re reading the texts.