sick of lazy parents at soft play

[lazyeffers16]

took my 11 month old to soft play today and YET AGAIN an older child (about 4ish) came in the under 2 section and tried to literally pick her up while she was playing. everytime i come i seem to have a kid come over and try to drag her or throw a ball pit ball off her head etc and there never seems to be a parent in sight?! wtf?? i tell them no myself (as in ‘no, don’t pick her up please/throw things at her/get off her please’) but am waiting for the day they go crying to mummy. aibu here? don’t understand where their parents disappear to

Crawling round and tailing a six-year-old for the whole time would be really weird, I remember at that age going to soft play and you’d go off, make friends, felt like freedom to go off and have fun. I knew not to go in the baby area though.

@mnnewbie111

Oh don't! I had some witch start a massive screaming match with me for telling her big kid not to throw balls at my 1 year olds face. Try telling him yourself then you lazy little @&@k*

OH brought a well-known Scottish Zoo to a standstill, he had asked a couple of times, very gently, older children not to push the little ones aside. When they did it a third time he let rip, at least it got their mothers, or whatever, off their arses, and phones, if only to tell him that 'we don't yell at our children', to which he replied 'yes, that's very obvious from the results'.

When they did it a third time he let rip, at least it got their mothers, or whatever, off their arses, and phones, if only to tell him that 'we don't yell at our children', to which he replied 'yes, that's very obvious from the results'.

😆😆😆

[quote Ribb]@hangrylady is it okay if I hate you just a tiny bit right now😬. I have age 2 and 5 so right in the thick of it. God help me![/quote]
Can't you tell them that the soft play centres are still in lockdown??

I never took my children to soft play voluntarily. Only if there was someone’s party. I equipped my own house and garden to avoid this kind of shite. My ds was floored by an older kid on one occasion, simply for existing. I also saw a pair of kids brawling at soft play. Horrible places.

No back track at all. In my first post I really didn't think it was necessary to point out the kids' parents were acting irresponsibly. It was pretty obvious from what the pp had stated that they were.

However, their lack of responsibility is not the pp's problem. There is a massive difference between intervening to prevent an injury and staying in the area to supervise them even though you want to go for a walk. If they child is in danger, you can warn the child and correct their behaviour, tell their parent, tell the lifeguard (even if he is flirting), and then carry on with your day. Staying around to supervise them is being a martyr.

Equally if a child wants to play with you and you don't want to play with them, you just tell them to go back to their parents. If they get upset, they're really a bit over entitled and it's no harm for them to realise the world does not revolve around them.

OchonAgusOchonOh
Mmmm... I still think it's wrong (and a massive cop out!) to blame pp for "being a martyr" (yeah because they woke up that day dying to supervise someone else's kid!) when it's the parents who don't supervise their own dc that cause this situation in the first place! And fwiw, you are not a "martyr" if you are reluctant to upset a small child or leave them alone to either hurt themselves or another child, you are simply a decent person, and parents who like to take the piss, rely on other adults to behave in a decent way and take advantage!

If there's older kids in the baby area you need to tell the staff repeatedly until they enforce it better.

@JudgeJ
Ha! That works. Actually they prefer trampolining now which is a tad more civilised! They barely ask to go into the softplay area when we've been to the trampolining park so 🤞🏽

Softplay is a nightmare. At one of ours recently older kids (think 11/12) were throwing toddlers into the ballpit. They called the police in the end because the parents had just left them there.

Hmm I’m torn on this one. DD nearly 3 can manage the under 4s area on her own, there are smaller babies to me mindful of but it’s nice to see her being independent and making little friends, I watch but don’t go in. When she goes on the bigger frames I accompany her but if any other kids tried to engage with me they would be ignored, I’m no Mary Poppins hun!

It’s also irritating when parents let under 2s in the older bit and expect the older ones not to run near their wobbly kid

Interesting discussion that's made me feel quite sad.

My son is a big and tall 3.5 yo, who has some issues with his physical development that aren't necessarily obvious on first glance but affect his mobility, balance, and confidence. He recently became confident enough to use most of the features of a typical soft play but is too anxious to go around alone. So I do follow him round, whilst hoping he's still developing more confidence. Without me doing that, he wouldn't go in - even at birthday parties where he'd know a large number of the children in the soft play.

I was the only parent inside the soft play at a recent party whilst the other mums sat around and I felt self-conscious enough at the time. I wouldn't want to have to explain my son's physical difficulties. So, If I thought other parents were judging me and him, I'd have to decline invites for soft play parties and I'd rather not do that when he does enjoy them in his own way.

I used to be in your situation. Soft play is hell on earth. I also hated it when big kids went up the slide while my toddler was trying to go down but then one day your kids become the annoying big ones doing exactly that. I'm not excusing badly behaved kids at all. Totally not acceptable. Or the ones that want to play but I've learned to not give the ones that aren't mine attention.

@Thasheblows88

No back track at all. In my first post I really didn't think it was necessary to point out the kids' parents were acting irresponsibly. It was pretty obvious from what the pp had stated that they were.

However, their lack of responsibility is not the pp's problem. There is a massive difference between intervening to prevent an injury and staying in the area to supervise them even though you want to go for a walk. If they child is in danger, you can warn the child and correct their behaviour, tell their parent, tell the lifeguard (even if he is flirting), and then carry on with your day. Staying around to supervise them is being a martyr.

Equally if a child wants to play with you and you don't want to play with them, you just tell them to go back to their parents. If they get upset, they're really a bit over entitled and it's no harm for them to realise the world does not revolve around them.

OchonAgusOchonOh
Mmmm... I still think it's wrong (and a massive cop out!) to blame pp for "being a martyr" (yeah because they woke up that day dying to supervise someone else's kid!) when it's the parents who don't supervise their own dc that cause this situation in the first place! And fwiw, you are not a "martyr" if you are reluctant to upset a small child or leave them alone to either hurt themselves or another child, you are simply a decent person, and parents who like to take the piss, rely on other adults to behave in a decent way and take advantage!

We'll just have to disagree on that one.

A dangerous situation can be easily dealt with by returning the child to the parent or similar. If people stopped acting the martyr (and yes, it usually is, as they complain about "having to" supervise them), then maybe the piss-taking parents would behave a bit more responsibly.

You can buy those small containers to decant shampoo etc into. just small plastic bottle things, that dont take up much room in a case.

Totally agree. I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old and I supervise my older child and she knows the rules. Unfortunately my younger one has been flattened by children charging about in the under 2 areas with no parent in sight. I’ve also seen multiple kids climbing slides and acting dangerously. I don’t understand how parents can be so irresponsible. Follow the rules and share some basic consideration for others. It’s actually not difficult.

No, I have a 2.5 year old and we went to soft play on the weekend, I’m 9 months pregnant and am decreasingly mobile at the moment with aches and pains, so sat with a coffee and watches while DP took her off to play and she went straight into the baby bit that specifically had a sign that says “under 2’s only” with about 3 very small babies. Was willing DP to catch on and get her out quick but he didn’t seem bothered so I had to give him a ‘look’ from across the room. I cringed as one woman saw her coming and sort of guarded her baby, I would have too.

If a child complained to the parent that you’ve asked them not to pick them up or throw things at them (?!) and the parent had an issue with that.. I’d just be grateful that you’re not that parent, embarrassing to defend your child when their in the wrong instead of having a quick chat and reminder about how to be gentle. 😱

The thing is, babies need supervision at soft play, whereas older children really mostly don't. Older children may be part of the reason that babies need supervision, but it's not as though you could just sit and have a coffee while your 1 year old toodles about, so is it really that hard to say 'This area is just for babies' or 'careful, she's only little' to an older child every so often? I know that you think that their parents are lazy, but they are genuinely just giving their children age appropriate freedom in a safe place, and there's no reason to believe that they will take offence if you have to remind their kids of the rules (I have been on both sides of this, and things have never kicked off, even at some of the more 'questionable' soft plays!).

I know that big kids seem wild and irresponsible when yours are tiny, but as they get older, you realise that they get bigger quickly, but it takes a while to develop a proper sense of 'safety' and 'being careful', way beyond the point where their parents can realistically chase them around a massive play frame, keeping eyes on them every second.

I remember how big the 'big kids' seemed when mine were tiny, and I look at mine now and wonder when they will learn to think things through (and I know my friends with older kids are still wondering!).

Soft play is like the circle of life in a nutshell - one day you're standing watch over your tiny little cruiser, then you are trying to let go as your little adventurer wants to go off and explore by themselves, and then you have a proper 'big kid' who helps the little ones and you know you can rely on them to be sensible...99% of the time.

A dangerous situation can be easily dealt with by returning the child to the parent or similar. If people stopped acting the martyr (and yes, it usually is, as they complain about "having to" supervise them), then maybe the piss-taking parents would behave a bit more responsibly

But you are saying they "have to" return the unsupervised child to their parents though? Seriously, why should they? It's a pain to have to do this when you are supervising your own dc, and when it's not immediately obvious in the first place who or where the parents are!

So yes we will have to agree to disagree.

And I can guarantee on Mumsnet when a poster accuses others of "being martyrs" it's actually about someone having to do more than their fair share because someone else (a bloke who doesn't do enough housework, a fellow school mum who doesn't do enough drop offs, or a parent who doesnt supervise their dc properly in public spaces) is being a cf!

@Chasingaftermidnight

To be honest I find the parents who take babies to soft plays and sit around scowling at any toddler who dares come near their PFB the most annoying breed.

scowling at toddlers grabbing their babies and chucking balls at their head? sounds justified to me. and it’s more scowling at the parents ignoring their problematic kid so they can scroll on their phone for an hour

Soft play is designed for "little people" no way would I try and follow a bouncy 4 year old around the assault course!
Thank goodness it is all behind me.

speaking from experience after nearly getting stuck on a coverd slide. And no, I am a normal size 12

@ZenNudist

If you want to take such a young child to soft play you'd obviously stay with them and look after them. Meanwhile the 4 year old get the run of the place. When your dc is 4 you will be able to get to cup of tea whilst child plays. That's the entire point of soft play.

the entire point of soft play is for kids to have fun, not for the parents to get a break

also i didn’t say to crawl around and tail children - don’t think i ever said that. what i’m saying is to be observant of your kids and if you see them annoying other parents or younger kids, get up and tell them off instead of sitting there pretending to be invisible

YANBU, OP.

Last time I took DS to soft play an older child ignored the protests of other parents, dragged one of the ride-on cars up to the top of the big wavy slide and rode it down. They were going so fast they literally flew off the slide before they reached the bottom. Thank goodness the other parents had had the presence of mind to move their children when they saw what was about to happen because it could have ended in a really nasty accident if another child had been hit.

Said little darling's mother was busy drinking coffee and having a chat with her back to the play area. I agree that parents can't chase their children all around the play equipment as they get bigger, but I also think there are varying degrees of being uninvolved and she was completely taking the piss.