sick of lazy parents at soft play

[lazyeffers16]

took my 11 month old to soft play today and YET AGAIN an older child (about 4ish) came in the under 2 section and tried to literally pick her up while she was playing. everytime i come i seem to have a kid come over and try to drag her or throw a ball pit ball off her head etc and there never seems to be a parent in sight?! wtf?? i tell them no myself (as in ‘no, don’t pick her up please/throw things at her/get off her please’) but am waiting for the day they go crying to mummy. aibu here? don’t understand where their parents disappear to

@Thasheblows88

No they don't have to return them but if they don't want to just ignore the situation, that is one of their options. If you don't know who the parents are, hand them over to staff to deal with. It's an even bigger pain to change your plans for the day because you have decided to take on someone else's responsibilities.

And again it's the parent who is present looking after their own dc who is forced to consider someone else's child, when they shouldn't have to if the other parents were doing their job! It's plain lazy! And yes in theory we can all go around ignoring other people's children - it would be a lot easier frankly - but it's not always practical when that child is repeatedly demanding your attention, taking your child's toy away from them, or hitting your child (all of which I have experienced in rl). It just doesn't work the way you describe in reality.

And it's still a pita having to get the attention of staff or search for missing parents. So don't please keep blaming the parents who are there, keeping an eye on their dc, doing their job!

And those posters saying that soft play is designed to give the parents a break, why are there signs all over the place saying that dc are the responsibility of their parents?

And again it's the parent who is present looking after their own dc who is forced to consider someone else's child, when they shouldn't have to if the other parents were doing their job!

They are not being forced to. They are choosing to.

And it's still a pita having to get the attention of staff or search for missing parents. So don't please keep blaming the parents who are there, keeping an eye on their dc, doing their job!

I'm not blaming the parent for anything. I am pointing out that they are acting the martyr by taking on others' responsibility and complaining about it. That is their choice.

Lazy parents not supervising their kids annoys me too. We take our 3 year old granddaughter to soft play at our local country club where we are members regularly. Big sign up saying parents need to supervise and maximum age of 7 in big area and 3 years old and under in smaller area. Two young mums enjoying their coffee in the cafe area not even in same place as soft play so not able to see their kids and we go into the soft play area and their children who are around 2 years old have taken crayons from cafe area into soft play and are crayoning all over the equipment. I take issue with this and point out politely to the mums what their little darlings are doing who say "they are only being children!!" I point out they are supposed to be supervising them and would they let their kids crayon over their house without stopping them? Lazy parents for sure.

YA so not BU!
It’s so annoying when kids follow you around.

I stay with my child, despite the fact they are “old” enough to be in by themselves because they haven’t grown out of bitting other children, so I can’t leave them.

The number of times I’ve said really, really nicely that my child isn’t able to play with them and yet they still follow us, try and maintain a conversation etc. I’ve actually had to say before please do not poke my child as they may try and bite you. They still take no notice. Why? Because they are a child who wants to play. This can go on for ages, no parent or carer in sight. It’s frustrating.

It’s probably best not to get me started on parents who let their kids in the toddler/baby area or pretend not to notice

Horrible filthy places, mine always seemed to come out with a cold and once, conjunctivitis. Stinky nappy toilets. The noise as well. Kids in tears, “look at me” kids, snot covered kids 🤢. Thank God mine outgrew it!

I survived soft play sessions by having absolutely no qualms about telling other children off if their parents couldn't be bothered.

Apparently I have a very head teacher vibe when I feel the need. It has come in useful so many times.

Children need to learn to interact but bad behaviour needs to be corrected.

@Thasheblows88

No they don't have to return them but if they don't want to just ignore the situation, that is one of their options. If you don't know who the parents are, hand them over to staff to deal with. It's an even bigger pain to change your plans for the day because you have decided to take on someone else's responsibilities.

And again it's the parent who is present looking after their own dc who is forced to consider someone else's child, when they shouldn't have to if the other parents were doing their job! It's plain lazy! And yes in theory we can all go around ignoring other people's children - it would be a lot easier frankly - but it's not always practical when that child is repeatedly demanding your attention, taking your child's toy away from them, or hitting your child (all of which I have experienced in rl). It just doesn't work the way you describe in reality.

And it's still a pita having to get the attention of staff or search for missing parents. So don't please keep blaming the parents who are there, keeping an eye on their dc, doing their job!

And those posters saying that soft play is designed to give the parents a break, why are there signs all over the place saying that dc are the responsibility of their parents?

Missed this bit - And yes in theory we can all go around ignoring other people's children - it would be a lot easier frankly - but it's not always practical when that child is repeatedly demanding your attention, taking your child's toy away from them, or hitting your child (all of which I have experienced in rl). It just doesn't work the way you describe in reality.

In the original post, the PP wanted to go for a walk so could have just left.

Those things you have experienced are a pain in the arse. I have also experienced them. I dealt with it on an as needed basis. It didn't require me to act in loci parentis fly those kids. Sometimes I reprimanded them, sometimes I sent them back to the parent, sometimes I complained to staff. I never felt I had to assume responsibility for them.

I love soft play but DD is 3 now and doesn't need to be followed around as she can navigate the equipment herself, so I can have a hot chocolate. I can see her going around the equipment generally and she knows not to go in the baby bit.
And I don't play with other people's children

Mine are just about past the age of soft play now. Depending on the child I've stopped following them from about the age of 3/5 and just checked in on them occasionally.

None of my 4 have had any interest in playing with me or another parent, they know the rules and usually stuck to them , the majority of dc find it fun as they get to go off and find new friends to play with, or in the case of my autistic dc climbing as high as they can

Unless they have additional needs a 6 year old doesn't need helicoptoring around soft play, thats just crazy. lots of younger children won't need it either.

@hangrylady

Am I terrible for feeling smug that my kids are too old for soft play now and I never have to endure it again? .

I see your smugness about your kids being too old - and I raise you my smugness that when my kids were small, soft play hadn't even been invented (or at least it hadn't made it to my town) - so I have NEVER had to endure it! (smug face)

@MuchuseasaChocolateTeapot

Horrible filthy places, mine always seemed to come out with a cold and once, conjunctivitis. Stinky nappy toilets. The noise as well. Kids in tears, “look at me” kids, snot covered kids 🤢. Thank God mine outgrew it!

Before lockdowns, I took my child (now 4) there all the time because I felt it was necessary.

With my new baby I now go by the quote.. What they don't know they won't miss!

Won't be stepping foot in one again!

@busyeatingbiscuits

The parents who insist on crawling around the soft play getting in kids way are fair game for having children want to play with them

Just stay out the way and let the kids play fgs!

I disagree if you are in a bit for very young kids like the OP. But if you are following your 4 or 5 year old round I agree.

@Philisophigal

Soft play is hell on earth. Disgusting, germ ridden places full of little demoms and parents that I wouldn't leave in charge of my bins. Never enough parking and you can smell the toilets from a mile away. I'd rather herd cats. Glad my soft play days are behind me.

@Philisophigal

This comment has made my day. 😂😂😂

[quote takealettermsjones]@DysmalRadius Again I take your point but I don't believe that it is my job just "because I'm there," any more than it would be my job to clean up their sick or take them to the loo etc.

And it's great that you've been able to deal with these experiences by just saying "this area isn't for babies" etc, but the reality is that a lot of the time, that doesn't work. If it did I genuinely would not be complaining.

What I'm talking about (and I believe a lot of others are too) is the kind of situation where you have said to little Arabella "this area is for babies," "please don't jump on my child," "we don't throw our shoes!!" repeatedly and got blank looks, giggles or complete disregard in response. At that point I'm looking around for a) a parent or b) a member of staff.

I am well aware that it's not always easy, especially with multiple kids, but unfortunately it's the parents' job.[/quote]
Yeah I am more direct. This area is not for babies. They are still there. Get out you are not allowed in here. Then get out now.
If they don't respond to a more gentle approach then they need a tougher approach.

@Philisophigal

Soft play is hell on earth. Disgusting, germ ridden places full of little demoms and parents that I wouldn't leave in charge of my bins. Never enough parking and you can smell the toilets from a mile away. I'd rather herd cats. Glad my soft play days are behind me.

Well yeah, but they aren't exactly aimed at adults

I've got to a point where I tell them off if they're causing harm, hoping the parent will see. I'm sick of being the parent looking after everyone else's kid when I'm trying to spend precious time with my son.

@hangrylady

Am I terrible for feeling smug that my kids are too old for soft play now and I never have to endure it again? .

Wait 'til you have grandchildren. I'm now revisiting soft play and it's hell on wheels. Little girls want to treat my granddaughter like a doll and little boys want to trample all over her.

@abw94

I've got to a point where I tell them off if they're causing harm, hoping the parent will see. I'm sick of being the parent looking after everyone else's kid when I'm trying to spend precious time with my son.

Then don't. Unless they are at risk of real injury, just ignore them. Tell them to go away if they want to play with you. They are not your responsibility.

@Fozzleyplum our local one did have an alcohol license. It was a horrible place.
Run by a husband and wife. The husband was convicted of up skirting (or similar), in children’s toilets. The wife stayed with him.

They tried to keep it open, even after that!

God a soft play with an alcohol license sounds a health and safety nightmare even without it being run by a sex offender.

www.wimbledonguardian.co.uk/news/16610732.eddie-catz-founder-spied-schoolgirls-changing-rooms-jailed-16-months/

Link before I get accused of BS.

Also as soon as you get snacks out, your table is surrounded by salivating kids. Always one bold enough to ask for if they can have some. ‘No go ask your own mum!’

Sometimes I reprimanded them, sometimes I sent them back to the parent, sometimes I complained to staff.

You may not have felt the need to assume the responsibility for them (although by doing the above things you actually are, albeit temporarily) every time you have to do one of the above, it takes your attention off your own dc, and as you say, it's a pita. It sounds very much like you are still defending the behaviour that creates this issue in the first place.

Seriously unless a child is in danger or you want to play with other kids, just ignore them or tell them to go away. If you decide to accept responsibility, that is your own fault.

Let me tell you. I was that helicopter parent. I was the mum of the five year old hauling her fat arse around the soft play frame because I was so worried that something terrrrrrible would happen to her.

Let me tell you where this has got me. I now have a nearly 8 year old who lacks the confidence to run off and play by herself. She’s getting better but it’s taken a while and some hard work. Entirely my own stupid fault.

And while I’m here. Keep your 11 month old out of the big kids’ area. See it goes both ways.

Also just ignore other peoples kids. That’s what I generally did. I was smiley and polite but I didn’t engage really. Not particularly arsed if it makes me mean. They soon catch on you’re not up for it and get bored and go away.