sick of lazy parents at soft play

[lazyeffers16]

took my 11 month old to soft play today and YET AGAIN an older child (about 4ish) came in the under 2 section and tried to literally pick her up while she was playing. everytime i come i seem to have a kid come over and try to drag her or throw a ball pit ball off her head etc and there never seems to be a parent in sight?! wtf?? i tell them no myself (as in ‘no, don’t pick her up please/throw things at her/get off her please’) but am waiting for the day they go crying to mummy. aibu here? don’t understand where their parents disappear to

As an aside I once saw a four year old climb over the serving counter, run through the till area and out the other side, through the arcade and out into the massive shopping centre. Staff members had caught up with him and brought him back before the parents even realised. He got a right rollicking in front of everyone, poor kid.

At four, I would say that was deserved. The parents should definitely have been keeping an eye, but I wouldn't expect to have to tell my 4yo not to leave the soft play without me .

I agree with you though. Parents should be supervising (ideally from outside the frame) and intervening if it becomes apparent that their DC are behaving badly (including going in the baby area). That said, I wouldn't expect them to be able to prevent every contact or collision. Little ones who might be badly hurt should be in the baby area or shadowed by an adult.

Just say no-no-no, and distract them, I think 3yr old is obvs just playing it's not like they can read the signs or notices.
I always used to get in the baby section with them.
I think the soft play is ok for a bit, then we just stopped going.
The food is abysmal in those places.

Couldn’t agree more. If parents couldn’t give a fuck about looking after their own kids then stay home and put the tv on. And if they want a break, like some have cheekily said, then get a babysitter. Might even be cheaper than soft play!!

I can remember taking DD when she was about 6MO and being aghast at all the ‘big kids’ in the toddler area but in hindsight they were probably only 2/3. I just kept a carful eye and used the bum technique as above, I only took her a couple of times when she was under 1, smaller playgroups, sensory classes etc were much more age appropriate I think. Shes nearly 3 and one of the bigger ones now and it’s lovely to watch her running around independently, its like the circle of life

What on earth were you doing with your kids between walking age and 2?

Not taking them to a hell on earth place designed for older dc to play independently while screaming, running and catapulting off soft sponge blocks. Like I said I only took a baby there if I had older dc who wanted to go there.

Babies don't need to visit somewhere like that to walk and play. Theres heaps of places way more suitable for a dc who isn't yet able to play independently or want to be around older, more boisterous dc.

Maybe OP should look at weekday sessions? There might be a toddler group session there, so she doesn't have to put up with the older children which the place was basically designed for

I absolutely agree though, softplay do have a fair number whose parents have no idea what they are getting up to, or have zero boundaries, but in the baby area, just ask the older kid to leave yours alone? Really not that hard.

People do realise that there is a mass of area between following your child around on the frame and letting them jump over a counter and run away. Just because a parent isn't in blocking the frame, it doesn't mean they don't give a fuck about looking after their own kids and should stay at home.

i would say - look for the parent glued to their phone but that isnt going to help!!

I stopped going because of this. First it was the preschoolers in the baby bit bashing, shoving and generally being obnoxious so i waited til they were older. But then the bigger kids are even worse! Shoving little ones down the big slides because they dont want to wait, using those weighted punch bag obstacles to knock other kids out, lobbing things at then, shoving, hitting and generally being feral without a parent to pull them up on it. Half the time if you tell them to stop politely just jumped up twat threats to knock your block off in front of the kids, the other half the parents couldnt careless how feral the kid is. Mine always begged to go but in less than 10 mins were already in tears because of some rat bag. They arent the sort to cry at every little thing either so if they cry it's big. They would calm down, go back in and come out crying again. I just stopped taking them unless it was a party.

The poor staff too - they arent there to prevent grown adults getting into a brawl but every time ive been there was shouting and swearing over some kid being awful or a kid spilled an adults drink and they want the other parent to cough up a new one... oh and the parents that try to leave to go shopping leaving the kid unsupervised and come back hours later. Some walkout bold as brass and tell staff to F off when they say they cant leave and others wait until the staff arent looking and leg it.

Blooming heck bemused where do you go? sounds dreadful. Is that just one softplay or your experience at more than one?

I'm pleased my softplay experiences are nothing like some of those here. My dc always made a few friends and had a nice time at softplay, with never many problems. I think if I'd have had the experiences of some pps I'd never have gone back!

@Stompythedinosaur

I'm pleased my softplay experiences are nothing like some of those here. My dc always made a few friends and had a nice time at softplay, with never many problems. I think if I'd have had the experiences of some pps I'd never have gone back!

I'm the same (other than the previous mentioned push).

The occasional roughness or pushing past another child but nothing major. Maybe I just have rose tinted glasses on though.

@Clarabe1

I have been left watching other peoples kids on holiday abroad while parents get pissed or sunbathe by the pool. Unbelievable. I got myself into the ridiculous situation where I didn’t dare go for a walk with my husband because the mothers were slogging wine down their neck and the Greek lifeguard was flirting with them. Doesn’t surprise me in the least about soft play.

We witnessed something similar on holiday about 10 years ago.

Family had just arrived the the little boy (7 ish) had a rubber ring without armbands. Mum and Dad chatting away, back turned from their son when he went under the water and I could just see him gasping as his head bobbed up and down. At which point DH dived in along with a few others from different directions to save the little boy. Without other people watching he would of drowned. DH took the boy back to his parent who were obvious twats and warned them to look after him as swallowed a lot of water. The poor kid got shouted at.

We were literally sat waiting for our transfer to go home as this happened and it upset us all and if it would of been on our first day we wouldn't of settled.

I don't think it's an issue when bigger kids (4ish up) are unsupervised because they generally have learnt not to bite other children etc. Well, should have.

It is bad when smaller children are left unsupervised obviously for their own safety and if they hurt other children. I don't hold back at shouting at other people's children if they're being naughty - their parents are usually nowhere to be seen anyway and I wouldn't having an issue with another parent telling my kids off if they were behaving badly.

I don't mind the ones who want you to play with them. I actually find it really heartbreaking when a child keeps saying 'will you watch me on the slide' and get very involved with encorouging them ha because they're obviously aren't getting the attention they deserve.

I think as they get bigger just having an eye on them and making sure they know the rules is all that's needed because if all the parents were following their kids around the equipment it would be a logistical nightmare and I have got stuck in some awkward positions a few times

@Ionlydomassiveones

“My 6 year old wouldn't be impressed if I followed her around.”

Wow. So the 6 year old dictates where the parent goes. Righto. God help you when she’s 16.

I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old. My 6 year old would much rather play with a peer than she would me. I don't blame her! She's well behaved and very polite and I don't need to be breathing down her neck all the time when she's trying to play. Doesn't mean she's going to turn into a ratbag!

Other end of the scale you have mum, dad and auntie escorting tiny baby (about 3 or 4 months old) around the huge play frame (there is a baby area), causing a huge backlog of kids as none can get past.

This was on a weekend and I was so confused why they were bothering. Gran was also present but sat at one of the tables.

You could try and report it to the person in the reception area. They usually have a tanoy system so can request the parent to collect their child out of the baby area.

@sqirrelfriends

Other end of the scale you have mum, dad and auntie escorting tiny baby (about 3 or 4 months old) around the huge play frame (there is a baby area), causing a huge backlog of kids as none can get past.

This was on a weekend and I was so confused why they were bothering. Gran was also present but sat at one of the tables.

As well as badly-behaved children, staff should also have the power to kick out obnoxious parents blocking the playframe. I particularly hate the parents who hiss and glare at children who bang into them by accident or who are trying to squeeze past them.

@Bookworm20 But the baby/toddler area is designed specifically for babies and toddlers. The older children have their bit.

I took DD to the baby but in soft play loads from as soon as she could crawl. She was born in lockdown, had hardly seen anyone except us or been anywhere with other kids for the first 8 months of her life. Soft play was great for her to get used to being out in the world and around other children, and to develop her motor skills. She was slow to crawl and walk, and taking her to soft play built up her confidence. She enjoyed it and it was something nice for us to do together.
All that is needed is for parents to follow the simple rules and make sure their kids stay in the correct bit. Then all children of various ages can enjoy themselves and get something out of the experience.