sick of lazy parents at soft play

[lazyeffers16]

took my 11 month old to soft play today and YET AGAIN an older child (about 4ish) came in the under 2 section and tried to literally pick her up while she was playing. everytime i come i seem to have a kid come over and try to drag her or throw a ball pit ball off her head etc and there never seems to be a parent in sight?! wtf?? i tell them no myself (as in ‘no, don’t pick her up please/throw things at her/get off her please’) but am waiting for the day they go crying to mummy. aibu here? don’t understand where their parents disappear to

I worked in a children’s play area that was connected to a restaurant and bar for two and a half years and the parents can be just as bad as the children. Two mother’s each with two children around 8 or 9 years old told by the barman they are not getting anymore alcohol after they have had a bottle of wine. One of the mothers was almost throwing a tantrum at the bar whining it was unfair as they were over 18.

We had a baby/toddler area and an area for older children and we had a height restriction of 3ft (around 90cm) nobody shorter was allowed in the baby/toddler area and equally it worked the other way. We did however have baby/toddler mornings for two hours 3 times a week and smaller children were allowed in the bigger child’s area during that time. The baby/ toddlers were allowed in from 9am-11am and we opened to older children at 12pm.

Totally unsupervised children were at times an absolute nightmare. There was one little girl aged 4 and her 2 year old brother and their mother never saw the point of supervising them. The four year old once took a bite out of another child’s birthday cake. Thankfully as the cake was shop bought the manager was able to quietly and quickly replace it without the parents or the birthday child knowing anything. The reaction of the four year olds mother on being told of the incident was to say “Oh that’s a shame. I take it she might not want lunch then”.

Hate soft play and refuse to go anymore. My DD wants me to follow her, so I am climbing like a monkey around and generally get two other kids wanting to play with us. Try to run away from them, but they always find you. I can’t stand the parents of awfully behaved kids showing and pushing the younger kids. Glad my DD is nearly out of this phase. I’m not too fond of the soft play places. Argh - Topsy Turvey in Brent Cross is the worst!

Hey Gruffalo, I relate to this. My 4.5 yr old dd couldn’t manage soft play by herself due to developmental delays but loves it (and her physio reckons it’s great for her). DH or I are often the only parents in the cage though we try to keep our distance rather than tail her through all of it. We tend to go at quieter times so she can take the time she needs& be less likely to get caught up with faster moving kids. But I’ve also consciously disconnected from other parents apparent judgements- I’m doing what is best for my kid, you are for your DS & that’s got to be the thing that matters most. Stick to your guns ;)

Oh I relate to this. Get sick to death of other people’s kids trying to play with me and ‘will you watch me go down the slide?’ No, you have your own parent to do that, but sadly they aren’t interested.

My DS is nearly 3 and I go with him still.

Totally get it!! If it’s busy my son normally makes an adult go with him. I’ve seen a child practically attack another child and had to tell them to get off and leave them alone. Also split up a fight in there before when some older kids were running feral.

If parents aren’t watching their children, and I see them hurting another child I couldn’t just leave it. Unfair on the child that’s at the receiving end and would hate for it to be mine. He most likely would come out to me crying or come out, not say anything and refuse to go back in

@crispmidnightpeace

If you want to crawl around the soft play after your 6 year old in case of freak accidents then no one is stopping you.

We all risk assess different and I preferred to let my children when age 6 to learn to navigate the ball pits without me being in there with them. Age appropriate independence on the life skills journey.

[quote MajorCarolDanvers]@crispmidnightpeace

If you want to crawl around the soft play after your 6 year old in case of freak accidents then no one is stopping you.

We all risk assess different and I preferred to let my children when age 6 to learn to navigate the ball pits without me being in there with them. Age appropriate independence on the life skills journey.[/quote]
This is about life in general, not a soft play. In soft play I know where she is because I look because if not they could get hurt and be trapped in there.

Crumbs there is a lot if nonsense on here-its very very simple -if you cannot keep a good eye on your child/children because your breast feeding/ too many children to watch/want to catch up with emails/chat/finish your book-then I suggest you stay home or get a babysitter-it's NOT other parents job to supervise your kids. Thank Christ mine are all in their 40's (yep had 4 & managed without calling on anyone or anything to entertain them) Soft play is a wonderful idea but it will always be spoilt by the sadly rising entitled selfish few

It's impossible for me to watch my 6 year old everywhere she goes cos our soft play is big and tall but if she did that to a baby, trust me, she wouldn't be doing it again. Kids that try to pick up random babies are the same that bang on the glass at the aquarium and the zoo.

Too many parents don't keep their children under control or keep an eye out. When their kids are older, they still have few boundaries and end up either in trouble or getting yelled at by others for being d*s. Boundaries, make better people!

I thought the whole point of soft play was that it was a secure environment for toddlers and young kids to play and exhaust themselves without adults hovering round. Admittedly I only went to smaller ones with mine , but I don't get the constant angst.'

Some parents are lazy and treat it as free childcare. I've had children come and try to get me to play on the slides in the ball pit etc because their mummy wants some peace and I'm interacting with mine.

Obviously older children need space to explore and meet other children. They need their parent to say not to go into the younger child areas etc.

I think people are being a little unrealistic here. There usually isn't space for all the parents (of older and younger children) to get into the playframe to follow their children around and play with them. The idea is a bit ludicrous, tbh. Usually the kids are small enough to pass each other in the tunnels etc. but there isn't normally room for 2 adults to squeeze through. It would just lead to bottlenecks and prevent the kids running around and playing as they are meant to. Adults are slow moving and lumbering, the equipment isn't sized for them and they get in the way. If children are old enough to play safely by themselves, it's really best that adults stay off the equipment. I normally don't mind soft play or fret over bumps and scratches, but the one time I was slightly annoyed was when a father playing with his older children fell on my then 2yo.

Now clearly there are some caveats to that. An older baby or younger toddler trying out the bigger frame during quieter times will need an accompanying adult. And some older children will either need or want a parent to come with them, for whatever reason. My 4yo still asks me to come in with them if we go at a quiet time and there aren't any other children to play with. And I would expect the parents of obviously misbehaving DC to intervene, although of course it's difficult to notice everything if you're not in there with them. Likewise, if another parent told me my DC was being silly or boisterous and hurting other children, I'd deal with it and take steps to stop the behaviour.

And of course, kids being what they are, if you're in the playframe with your child, other children will come and try to interact with you sometimes. I had this situation many times when my DC was younger. Yes, it was a bit annoying sometimes and sometimes I did say, "I'm playing with my DC, if you don't mind". But it's not really a sensible alternative for the parents of the other 4 kids in the ballpit to squish into the ballpit with me and my DC, so there's no space for any of the children to play.

I only ever went quiet times so weekdays mornings or early Saturday/Sunday

Agree with this. I remember getting cross when older children used to go in the u2 area. but as your child gets older you will not follow them around, its not lazy as you will see when your child is 4. I love the idea of the keypad outside the under 2s

I have no idea why these people bother to have kids when they don't want to look after them.

Unsupervised, disruptive and possibly dangerous to others.

I took our 3 kids to one on Sunday and the older two boys were away playing fine. Baby DD who is 10 months was in a high chair eating while me and MIL sat drinking tea and chatting. A little girl around 2.5/3 came over to see DD and said aww. This was fine. She then went away and came back and started trying to feed dd chips she had brought over and i said oh no thank you shes too little for those. The little girl just kept doing it putting them to the baby's mouth and dd took one off her and shoved it in her mouth before i could stop her. Then the girl didnt go away and instead started touching dd's face and laughing because teething dd of course tried to bite her fingers. She stood and pulled one of dds socks off and handed it to me?! I was trying to say to go and play now and go and find your mummy now. It wasnt until after 10 minutes her mum shouted on her (from the next table!!!) in a different language and then I understood that she didnt understand me. The mum and her friend were speaking english together and definitely would have heard me asking her not to feed or touch dd/to go and play now as they were at the next table and they just did nothing! Just odd. Soft plays bring out the worst in people lol

I took dd to a baby and toddler morning at a soft play on Tuesday and it was much calmer! This one had a designated baby section and a different bit for toddlers as well as a larger play frame for older ones and the staff were good at saying to the older toddlers not to go in the baby bit. Basically it was... if they can walk well they go in the toddler bit. This meant dd could crawl around safely without a 4yo standing on her hand unlike a different time we went.

Does your soft play do any baby mornings that might suit you better? Or what about baby and toddler groups local to you? We go to a baby club which is fab and dd has loads of safe interaction with other babies whilst toddlers are on the other side of the hall. Our council run alot of baby classes too. Might be worth a look?

Honestly the hyperbole on this thread is ridiculous. Older (small) children do not need following around on the frame, let them play, adults simply get in the way. You don't have to be following your child everywhere to be supervising them.

I do find this thread a bit odd. (the responses that is)

There is no way I could follow my kids around soft play, when they were that age.
I couldn't fit into most of the crawl throughs, they were kid sized, the 'stairs' up are too small for adults, the hole at the top of slides too small etc.
I am not huge, but I am a tall women, and there is no way I would ever have been able to follow my kids round.
(apart from baby section)

There is always a member of staff at the baby/toddler section kicking out older kids.

Birthday parties are pretty much always drop off your kids. Do you think the party parent is supervising all 30 odd kids on the soft play? No, that is why there are soft play staff stationed at the bottom of the slide and wandering round telling kids off supervising kids.

I always watched my kids, I didn't sit on my phone (too old, no smart phones then anyway!). But I could not follow them round, not possible, and neither were any of the other parents.

I agree with @steppemum. The whole point of softplay is to allow dc of a suitable age a degree of independence in play in a safe area, with parents supervising from a distance. My dc knew not to go in the baby area, but I definitely supervised from a table with a coffee from the age of 2/3, as did every parent I know.

In honesty, I find adults in the older dc playframe often get in the way of the dc who are trying to use the equipment.

Why on earth would you voluntarily take an under 2 to a soft play park!! Missing the point entirely.

The only time I ever took an under 2 in there was when I had older children who had asked to be there!

In fact thats what I thought the under 2's bit must be for, for the parents who brought older dc and therefore somewhere to amuse the baby too.

I can't honestly compute how someone in their right mind would actually just take a baby to a place designed for kids to run about, let off steam, scream and shout and launch themselves into a ball pit.

@Bookworm20

Why on earth would you voluntarily take an under 2 to a soft play park!! Missing the point entirely.

The only time I ever took an under 2 in there was when I had older children who had asked to be there!

In fact thats what I thought the under 2's bit must be for, for the parents who brought older dc and therefore somewhere to amuse the baby too.

I can't honestly compute how someone in their right mind would actually just take a baby to a place designed for kids to run about, let off steam, scream and shout and launch themselves into a ball pit.

Because some babies like to explore their gross motor skills by cruising about and climbing over everything. Where do you propose parents allow them to do that?

What on earth were you doing with your kids between walking age and 2?

@Limegreentangerine

Totally get it!! I actually work at one! The amount of parents that think it's free childcare it's a joke ! Some parents even try and leave! When the kids are still inside?! Madness!! I'm forever having to chase down parents of children that are not supervised / hitting /punching other kids! Nice note I've also been spat on by a kid.

Irresponsible parenting TBH

So yes you are very justified in your opinion xxx

When I worked in one about 20 years ago, I'd make the kids leave the area. Parents didn't like it but the huge signs everywhere said that they were still supposed to be supervising their brats kids and not ignoring them. Totally agree they thought it was cheap childcare.

I think the main point is there is a difference between allowing your child to go off and play and explore on their own and have a great time, under the watchful eye of nearby parents; and children running rampant and being a general pain in the arse for other parents and children without any intervention. Soft play staff don’t do this, they really don’t, nor should they have to, nor should any other adult.

Just monitor your kids, it’s not that hard.

As an aside I once saw a four year old climb over the serving counter, run through the till area and out the other side, through the arcade and out into the massive shopping centre. Staff members had caught up with him and brought him back before the parents even realised. He got a right rollicking in front of everyone, poor kid.

It’s just basic isn’t it, to keep an eye on your children.

Use the old bum bumper technique.

Place your bum in between your child and the one trying to get to your child. Let them bounce off your ass and fall to the floor. They usually get the idea when that happens.