AIBU to ask how anyone else copes being overcrowded?

[Lemontree1]

I am in an overcrowded very small 2 bed privately rented flat with 3 children.
The bedrooms are tiny.
To envisage how small the bedrooms are, a double bed can fit but nothing else maybe a bedside table, but no chest of drawers, or any other furniture.
According to the council, My 3 children are expected to share one of these bedrooms and myself in another room.
I can’t make them all share, as there physically isnt enough room to fit 3 beds in one room with all their toys, or any other furniture. (We don’t have vast amounts of stuff but 3 children combined do have a significant amount, and I am constantly decluttering)
So, I sleep downstairs on the sofa.
we are all on top of each other there is no where for me to escape and my mental health has been deteriorating for years now.
I have been told that I am not a priority and that there are bigger families in a one bed flat.
I don’t want anything fancy, just a room and a bed to myself and somewhere I can have time to myself.
I can’t get anywhere else privately as I can’t afford it, I work,but rent prices are high and I just can’t afford more than I already pay. I can’t work full time at least until my youngest boys are in school.
I am so claustrophobic and although I try my best this affects my parenting.
Also, for reference I have twins and a singleton. My children’s ages are 3,3 and 12. All boys, so apparently can all share until they are 16.

Is there anyone else in a similar situation? How do you manage to cope? I just feel like I can’t cope much longer, but have no idea how to get out of this situation.

This wouldn’t be priority in my council either, I lived in a one bed flat with 3 kids, it was hard but council will see it as your choice to keep having kids in a small flat. So they see that as deliberately making yourself over crowded.

where were you before? how long have you lived there?

How long have you lived there?

How long have you been in the flat? Could you do a triple bunk or a double with a single above for the kids?

Yes you wouldn't be a priority. I made the lounge my room and then we got a move

i dont understand why this is the councils responsibility though?

That sounds very hard. My friend lived in a two bed with her kids a boy and a girl and she ended up sleeping on the sofa until they were basically adults and left home as the council weren't able to give her another house.

I think there is a housing shortage sadly so people are having to make do.

Is your flat a maisonette if your living room is downstairs? Could you store some of the DCs things on the upstairs landing and then just have 3 beds in the biggest bedroom and you take the smallest?

Also I was going to say that once your youngest two are at school hopefully you'll be able to work and maybe pay a little more towards rent and another bedroom?

I hope you can see an end in sight, I'm sure it's not forever op.

Turn the lounge into the children's bedroom/playroom , you sleep in the smaller bedroom, and the larger bedroom becomes the lounge?

@CannaBelieve, the OP couldn't forsee having twins. With two children she would have managed better. People should have adequate housing.

OP is there anyone who can give you a break, family? Minimal living is the only option. I looked at storage ideas across cultures, Sweden, Japan, London etc because we waste a lot of wall space. Our affordable housing crisis is a disgrace.

Bunk beds for the kids room. The 3yos have to be on the bottom for now, but eventually one can move up and you can convert the lower to an open or storage space.

Single bed for you in the other bedroom. Consider getting a bunk bed or at least a raised bed so you can have storage underneath. Remaining floor space is for as much storage as possible.

Kids toys and things, even some of their clothing storage might end up in reception room. You getting a dedicated space is probably worth that bleeding into that space.

Did you move to this flat with 3 children?

Not ideal but for now could you get one of those bunk beds where the bottom is a double and the twins share that? Or could you have bunk beds in both rooms so you at least can all sleep in a bedroom? It sounds really tough.

[quote Ponoka7]@CannaBelieve, the OP couldn't forsee having twins. With two children she would have managed better. People should have adequate housing.

OP is there anyone who can give you a break, family? Minimal living is the only option. I looked at storage ideas across cultures, Sweden, Japan, London etc because we waste a lot of wall space. Our affordable housing crisis is a disgrace.[/quote]
yes fine...but still can't see how its the councils responsibility? its private rented so its not a case of using a tenancy to get a bigger property by swapping, exchanging etc

I’m also struggling to understand why you think this is the cousins responsibility, you are adequately housed as per the guidelines.

Only suggest I could offer is to try housing association or alternatively save until you can afford to move, even if that takes years.

*Councils

The key to compact living is less stuff, excellent storage and keep everything very tidy. In your case I'd put the kids and all their stuff in the bedrooms and make the living room a proper bed/sitting room for you with a proper sofa bed. In the evening all their stuff gets cleared out of it and it's your space.

Is it a flat or a house? You say you sleep downstairs.

That's the way I would do it. A sofa bed in the living room and the kids share the bedrooms.

We used part of the living area as an extra bedroom by sectioning it off.
Trouble is you need a big enough living area, particularly when dc's are toy age.
Once the younger ones are a bit older, I would try to get someone to do some creative carpentry.
We have just learned how to be very minimalist - but things are easy to cut down whereas individual private space is hard to create.

It’s hard I’m sure and there is no point is people pointing out you shouldn’t have had the kids!

But unfortunately the truth is that councils don’t not have enough houses for everyone that’s needs one and there are thousands of families in emergency accommodation with whole families in one small room and having to share lot hens and bathrooms with strangers so if you have 2 rooms in a private flat then you are not a priority.

I assume at the moment you have the twins in 1 room and the 12 year old has the other? They should all be in bed by 9pm so you can have time to yourself for a couple of hours??
Most people don’t really spend much time in thier bedrooms anyway do they?

Or bunkbeds for a bit extra room.

You could get a double bunk bed don’t see why the two 3 year olds can’t share a bed they Are only little then the older one could sleep at the top.

I have no ideas OP and I’m sorry you’re having to manage what sounds like a difficult situation. Im especially sorry that despite referencing your poor mental health posters have been so rude to you.

I'm not in your situation, but lots of people I knew growing up in Ireland in the 1980s and 90s, grew up with 5-7 siblings in 3 bedroom houses (which were often 2 proper bedrooms and a box room). One of the families had 2 sets of bunk beds in the boxroom for 4 boys.