Aibu to wonder if Botox and fillers now normal?

[Av0bo55]

I’ve so so many friends that have these now and really do feel I’m the odd one out
Friends all between 30-45 and look amazing! I’ve got to admit I’m very tempted but a bit nervous and also Ttc one last time, so unsure if it’s safe to do if Ttc???
and should I wait! I’m 40 early next year so was thinking about maybe then!
So how many have tried /or already do it? What’s your thoughts? Good?

@Siameasy, oh I totally own it, but I think you can usually tell peoples age regardless of Botox or fillers. As I said it has made me look a few years younger, but mainly it has made me look refreshed and more awake. Best money I spent !!

I find it's much cheaper to look in the mirror when I am not wearing my glasses.knocks at least 10 years off

@Huckleberries73

I really do love how women say - I can tell. You bloody can’t on ones that are done well. Yep - loads of bad ones about. But loads of amazing ones.

No one in my family or friendship group have noticed, I just look fresher and less tired.
I defy anyone to look at me and know it’s been done.

But you can't tell what your family and friends are really thinking.

@pooiepooie25

Given the number of high street shops that do it now. It must be normal.

But you can't tell what your family and friends arereallythinking.

Not everyone's family and friends keep things to themselves and have no problem saying what they think or asking outright

I view it the same as my skin care, i didn't start till my 40's and am 50 now.

I don't have many wrinkles so I too totally own it. If someone asks why I don't have many wrinkles at 50 I tell them.

I also think it's really really common. I know lots of people that have both fillers and Botox they just don't advertise it.

I also look after my skin by using retinol and. A good regime, it seems a bit pointless being less wrinkly at 50 if your skin condition is rubbish.

I think natural ageing is beautiful but it's not for me, not yet anyway.

@Gensola

Why are people being so nasty *@Siameasy*? Why do you care so much what other people do to their faces?

I’m not obliged to be nice when other women are outright lying

Can’t you see how damaging it is that women trumpet exactly what the marketing men say in order to convince younger women that it’s all fine, nothing to see, it’s not really happening ?

Why do I care? I have a daughter. I’m a woman. I don’t need other women pushing this nonsense.

“I did it for me” “you can’t tell” “just to improve my jawline”

You may as well work for the cosmetics companies pushing that nonsense

Truth hurts

I had botox 2 years ago and only my husband knows I've had it. I agree with pp if it's done correctly then people shouldnt be able to instantly tell. Unfortunately more and more people are having it and it's getting done incorrectly and that's why people think it's bad cos of all the botched jobs!!

@Siameasy

Why do people on these threads always say “if it’s done well you can’t tell” yet you get so many rich and famous people looking frankly weird so yes you can bloody tell and no it’s not normal.

Exactly that - and those are the people who can afford the best on the market. Anyone seen Felicity Kendal’s face lately? She looks grotesque and she used to be so pretty.

[quote PandoraP]@Siameasy, oh I totally own it, but I think you can usually tell peoples age regardless of Botox or fillers. As I said it has made me look a few years younger, but mainly it has made me look refreshed and more awake. Best money I spent !![/quote]
I don’t think you’re owning it

Owning it would be saying I’m insecure about looking my age because society says women mustn’t age so I paid to get treatment to please society

I think we owe the truth to young women and girls; we are complicit in upholding today’s impossible beauty standards if we normalise going to ever more extreme lengths to perpetuate them. If we then try to shut down women who question it (as often happens on these threads), we may as well be employed by the marketing men as we are doing their job for them

We aren’t victims - we are Co conspirators

Someone in work had it and I told her it looks fab. It actually looks a little bit odd in a way I can't put my finger on. I don't think she looks any better. I've always regarded my operation scars as battle wounds and the wrinkles on my face as signs of experience and resilience.

It's a bit off to me that were being told we shouldn't do what we want to our own bodies because other women don't like it.

Why can't we all just do what we want to do? If you want to age naturally, fine. If you don't, also fine.

Even if Botox etc was completely banned nothing would change because people would just do the next thing. You'd have to ban makeup as well, skin care, other treatments, everything.

I’m not obliged to be nice when other women are outright lying

And no one is obliged to not challenge you on it.

No one lives in a vacuum. No one. However, you can understand that and still make a decision for yourself.

I occasionally get my nails done. I am fully aware that part of the reason I think they look nice is social conditioning. However I still get them done because I like them. Regardless of the reason I like them. When I dont fancy getting them done, I don't.

If people say they like botox because it makes them feel better that's entirely their choice. Most people don't actually expect it to make them look significantly younger. Because that's unrealistic. People get it done for all sorts of reasons. There isn't just one.

And, actually, woman arent obliged to promise all women in every decision they make about their own bodies.

Prioritise all women. Not promise all women.

I'm in my 50s and don't know anybody who has had/would even consider this. Our lines & wrinkles are what is normal and make us who we are, and I don't think I know anyone who would ever think differently. Such a massive waste of money, too. Perhaps it depends on the social circles we move in?

I've never noticed or discussed it among my friends - I'm 50 - but then I don't move in creamed, coiffed, meticulously groomed circles at all!

I haven't and I won't. I don't even wear make-up, never have. For me, beauty in people is not a static visual. Beauty is in motion, aliveness, the way a body moves or expressions flicker across a face. How clearly the inner person shines through. Botox, fillers, even make-up gunks all that up.

I can look at pictures and know that they are objectively beautiful, that society considers them attractive, but it's a detached assessment. I am drawn to the person who looks like they have lived and laughed and loved and cried and just tramped off a mountain through a thicket of brambles; who has a lifetime of stories; whose spirit vividly animates body and face.

Waves to @OddBoots and @Oysterbabe

Love Botox! Agree fillers can be a slippery slope though.

When I get Botox topped up everyone tells me Im looking really well - but it’s not obvious why. I still have movement in my forehead. I started late 20s so I didn’t really “age”. Now late 30s.

I've had lip filler and love it.
People who don't agree/can't afford it saying they feel sad about others getting it are a bit weird to be honest.

I find this so depressing. How many men go and get fillers / Botox?
Personally I wouldn't even consider it and none of my friends have had it.
The one person I do know who's had it was a parent at the school where I worked and she looked really odd. I felt sorry for her as her lips looked like stuck on inflatables!
I'd rather try to love my growing older self and not muck around with my face.

@Turningpurple

I’m not obliged to be nice when other women are outright lying

And no one is obliged to not challenge you on it.

No one lives in a vacuum. No one. However, you can understand that and still make a decision for yourself.

I occasionally get my nails done. I am fully aware that part of the reason I think they look nice is social conditioning. However I still get them done because I like them. Regardless of the reason I like them. When I dont fancy getting them done, I don't.

If people say they like botox because it makes them feel better that's entirely their choice. Most people don't actually expect it to make them look significantly younger. Because that's unrealistic. People get it done for all sorts of reasons. There isn't just one.

And, actually, woman arent obliged to promise all women in every decision they make about their own bodies.

You aren’t making a decision for yourself that’s exactly the point. It’s laughable to think that.

Why isn’t the man in the street getting lip fillers and BBLs?

I’m 46. Younger women and girls are watching us. I’m never getting botox or fillers done. I love my skin and I want to see me in the mirror, not distorted.

Despite all this “yOu cAn NeVeR tELL” -which is straight from the marketeers’ book by the way - I believe we have evolved to subconsciously sense that something is “off” and we know

@Stravaig

I've never noticed or discussed it among my friends - I'm 50 - but then I don't move in creamed, coiffed, meticulously groomed circles at all!

I haven't and I won't. I don't even wear make-up, never have. For me, beauty in people is not a static visual. Beauty is in motion, aliveness, the way a body moves or expressions flicker across a face. How clearly the inner person shines through. Botox, fillers, even make-up gunks all that up.

I can look at pictures and know that they are objectively beautiful, that society considers them attractive, but it's a detached assessment. I am drawn to the person who looks like they have lived and laughed and loved and cried and just tramped off a mountain through a thicket of brambles; who has a lifetime of stories; whose spirit vividly animates body and face.

Waves to @OddBoots and @Oysterbabe

You've beautifully articulated exactly how I feel.

@Siameasy then no decision you ever make is actually made by you?

You are ridiculous and come across like an angry teenager with the 'yOu cAn' typing. As I said, you can understand all the societial expectations, you can understand it all. And still make the decision that you want to go ahead because you want to do it.

And no had ever said that you can never tell. Again, how would you know if you know everytime. You could have met hundreds of people who have had it and you didn't know. Thats just something people say to try and make a point.

No one has evolved to know if someone has had botox or fillers ffs.

And actually cosmetic procedures are becoming more commonplace among men. However, men dont admit to it anywhere near as often as women.

I'm 30 and get Botox for forehead and brow lines. I look exactly the same, it just takes care of the lines and heavy brows.
It's definitely normal now in my experience. People tend not to talk openly about it because I think there's still a bit of stigma but it's really no different to any other beauty/skin treatment.