Aibu to wonder if Botox and fillers now normal?

[Av0bo55]

I’ve so so many friends that have these now and really do feel I’m the odd one out
Friends all between 30-45 and look amazing! I’ve got to admit I’m very tempted but a bit nervous and also Ttc one last time, so unsure if it’s safe to do if Ttc???
and should I wait! I’m 40 early next year so was thinking about maybe then!
So how many have tried /or already do it? What’s your thoughts? Good?

I’ve have both. Not Botox recently, but probably will again. I don’t think you can always tell (I can’t, anyway), but I don’t particularly care if other people can.

Is it social conditioning? Well, it’s normalized and easily accessible, so yes. Does that fact prevent me from liking the results and continuing to do it? No.

@Savoury
"When men feel so insecure or fear aging that they feel the need to spend hundreds on cosmetic procedures, I’ll join them."

The equivalent would be a man saying when women are pumping up their muscles, then they will. But men do spend on cosmetic procedures, especially when it comes to dentistry, hair transplants and other procedures.
However I don't decide my behaviour based on what men are doing.
Looking after your skin is all very good, but your skin can completely change during the menopause. It's the sagging and loss of volume which bothers me. So fibroblasting and tear trough fillers were my go to. Without fillers I wouldn't keep my weight as down as I do, because I'd look too gaunt. All these celebrates that are held up as natural are having things done. I can't afford £100+ face creams and £300+ facial treatments. If you can, you can look as good without Botox.

"Don't know many people with fillers though."

What's the age group? You go from preventing lines, to needing volume and lift.

@Siameasy, I can only imagine your frown lines when writing those angry posts

Men have botox and fillers too. I would say most men in the public eye over 40 do.

@gasoline

Agree more mainstream with random People on social media offering deals on a few jabs in your face for £x

My concern is that these people and there seem to be lots of them, will look and be judgey of me for not having it.

I look my age and have wrinkles in the expected places for early 40's and this is a significant different look to the shiny smooth forehead brigade

Do the Botox crew judge people with wrinkles? Like want to say to the wrinkling people oh hey you should do this?!

Absolutely not. The judging is always the other way round. We botox people are so 'vain and self absorbed' that the only face we are interested in is our own, and wouldn't even notice you unless you were standing between us and a mirror!

Doubt it. If they are, won’t be for much longer, most people won’t be able to afford them.

Men absolutely do have them all this posts about of xx has aged like fine wine... Yep absolutely beautiful but has definitely had work done. As if all these film stars are just super lucky to age well

I don’t think it’s the new normal. I know no one who would subject themselves to operations or injections in order to only look prettier/younger. In my eyes it’s self abuse.

@Idkiibu

I don’t think it’s the new normal. I know no one who would subject themselves to operations or injections in order to only look prettier/younger. In my eyes it’s self abuse.

How do you possibly know that nobody you know does?

Always amazed by the amount of people who seem so knowledgeable about something they have no interest in. Wouldn't touch it with a bargepole, yet know more about the risks of it and the supposed psychology behind it than the people who do. Far too high minded to care about aging, yet somehow still manage to notice how old women who have procedures look. The arrogance and sheer irrationality of claiming to know they can always tell, and the spiteful insults directed at other women who make different choices. Fascinated that the topic arouses such strong feelings in people for whom it's not a factor in their own lives, and curious as to why?

I think it's rather sad when young women in their 20s and 30s are creating odd, unsustainable looks with botox and fillers.

It started off with middle-aged women trying to look 35ish which is understandable when lips thin and expression lines deepen. But young women already are young and it's not a flattering fashion.

Now 40, I decided to do something about the deepening frownlines a few years ago... I got the scissors out and cut a fringe to hide them. Sorted. Cheap, easy to maintain But then I'm the type who'll get my skin glowing with a 10 mile run or cold water swim anyway, and protect it with suncream. I'm going to grow old disgracefully, look after myself, protect my natural assets and not do anything that can't be reversed or go without... and keep wearing stuff like dungarees because I love them. My secret to not going out of fashion is to never be in fashion

The most youthful thing you can have is good posture and movement. Poor posture will betray anyone no matter how good the work is.

Those who say they don't look tired or haggard any more, why are you looking tired and haggard in the first place? Wouldn't that be the first thing to sort out?

@MayorMargeret

Those who say they don't look tired or haggard any more, why are you looking tired and haggard in the first place? Wouldn't that be the first thing to sort out?

If you have a cure for insomina caused by your exh sexually abusing you while you sleep and the ptsd that you walked away with, please let the medical community know. It would be helpful.

Not in my world or my friendship group; 40s and 50s, rural. Most people I know are outdoorsy, weather-beaten and pay very little attention to whether they're fashionable or how they look. I'm very glad to say that nobody feels under pressure to look a certain way.

@MayorMargeret

Those who say they don't look tired or haggard any more, why are you looking tired and haggard in the first place? Wouldn't that be the first thing to sort out?

I honestly think it's how some peoples skin is.

Of course, lots will be smoking, sun damage, generally not taking very good care of the skin but you can't "fix" any of that just with Botox anyway, but you can improve it slightly.

Yes, everyone should look after their skin, but many people had no idea of the consequences of sun damage when they did it. We do now, and that's great

@Stravaig

I've never noticed or discussed it among my friends - I'm 50 - but then I don't move in creamed, coiffed, meticulously groomed circles at all!

I haven't and I won't. I don't even wear make-up, never have. For me, beauty in people is not a static visual. Beauty is in motion, aliveness, the way a body moves or expressions flicker across a face. How clearly the inner person shines through. Botox, fillers, even make-up gunks all that up.

I can look at pictures and know that they are objectively beautiful, that society considers them attractive, but it's a detached assessment. I am drawn to the person who looks like they have lived and laughed and loved and cried and just tramped off a mountain through a thicket of brambles; who has a lifetime of stories; whose spirit vividly animates body and face.

Waves to @OddBoots and @Oysterbabe

Agree. The most attractive quality if a person imo is laughter and their happiness. If that creates lines then so be it.

"I think it reflects a really sad idea that aging is bad"

Ageing is bad. It's a deterioration.

Lots of women I know have fillers and some have botox.

They all, without exception, look worse for having them.

@Getyourarseofffthequattro
Not close friends of mine. I know where you are getting at, though lol
Just to clarify, I feel like doing procedures on your body that are potentially dangerous/have possible consequences down the line is just not kind/fair and it’s just a sign of a deep emotional instability. I know what low self esteem is, and I’m not perfect. I do care how I look like to others but I’m not yet at the point where I’d allow myself to spend my own money on someone literally causing (potential) damage to myself with no medical gain. People are know closely just think the same way.

I'm late thirties and had Botox when I was 32. That was because I had spent so long in pain and grimacing, I had lines from it that weren't "ageing" lines as such. I wanted them gone
Had three lots, been using tretinoin since and haven't felt the need to have it again
Forehead looks great with the tret!

@PandoraP early 50’s here too and interested in firming up the sagging jaw line. Did you need fillers around this area? Totally clueless and if you don’t mind me asking, was it costly?

Pics if anyone wants to see tretinoin results
First pic was before Botox and without a good skincare routine
Second pic is 5 years later, no Botox and with tretinoin

[quote MrsAmber]@PandoraP early 50’s here too and interested in firming up the sagging jaw line. Did you need fillers around this area? Totally clueless and if you don’t mind me asking, was it costly?[/quote]
Theres a thread in style and beauty at the moment 'facial fillers happy with results' where people are discussing this. Its a really positive and informative thread, without all the judgement.

@5128gap thank you, I’ll take a look.

" spend my own money on someone literally causing (potential) damage to myself with no medical gain."

Are you also against laser eye surgery. The medical gain there is mainly cosmetic as they could just wear contacts or glasses. I think the risks of eye surgery are probably much higher than botox and fillers.

Honestly it is ridiculous to say people with filler and Botox look worse. I look a million times better and everyone always says how good I look for late 40s. There is no way my husband and kids wouldn't say something if they thought I was having work done. It's subtle but makes a huge difference to me